To be permanently skint, despite being on a good salary?

[cherriesandapplesandberries]

On paper, we have a good combined income of around £85,000, although it varies slightly and can even go up to around 90 on a good year.

But we seem to be permanently skint, and I don’t mean not much money, I mean absolutely nothing in the bank accounts, scrabbling round for loose change, stressing about how we will get to work, skint. This isn’t a begging thread by the way, I know sometimes people post on MN wanting others to offer them money and I don’t, I’m just trying to explain how it is.

We do have debts, loans and credit cards plus obviously the mortgage, childcare fees, cars which cost then obviously the needs of a growing family.

I know back when I was a young ‘un I’d have fallen about laughing at the idea my current salary isn’t enough to live on, but I just seem to be struggling all of the time!

Oh ok sorry I thought you had said you were in the south east. Well I think there are fewer people in your position then, but it seems to me that the major issue is that you are rather than how many others also are. It sounds like you incurred your debt because of some specific bad luck. Hopefully once that is cleared things will be better for you.

How much is your mortgage then?

Don’t stop the pension contributions.

You are going through a really expensive time. It will get easier.

But you’ll have to find somewhere to cut down to chip away at the cc. Work out the most expensive debt and chip away at it.

Lots of people are living not terribly extravagant lifestyles but are also in debt. It feels unfair. There has been some good advice on here among the general unhelpfulness.

Pretty rude response to me OP.
Why ask for help if you’re going to rude and make it personal ffs?

Don't opt out of the pension. I know it seems like an easy no-brainer right now but trust me, if you do then in 30 years' time you will want to travel back and throttle yourself. Compound interest is essential for pensions so unless you plan to work until you drop dead, you need to keep paying it.

On my banking site (desktop not mobile) you can download 12 months of your in/out payments in an Excel spreadsheet. I did it a few years ago when we were saving up for something big and didn't seem to be getting anywhere.

Doing this allows you to categorise and then sort your spending - in our case we were spending a ridiculous amount of money on food! Not the weekly shop but the 'just popping to Tesco Metro for milk' shop - which turned out to be 4-5 times a week - and it was never milk because I'd be spending £20+ each visit on impulse stuff. Over the course of the month it was adding up to a huge amount of money and way beyond what I thought we were spending.

Have a look at the last year's spending and really get under the skin of where it is going. I suspect there will be some ad-hoc spending where you can rein it back in - such as impulse food buys, or takeaway coffees and lunches. Even £3 lunch meal deals add up - it's £684 if you buy lunch every day (assuming you work M-F and have 25 days + BH off).

Well nothing going to change until YOU want to change, and at the moment YOU don't YOU just want moan.

Of course people notice large amounts going out their bank accounts, but that not what gets you into debt. It all the little amounts that YOU spend as 'it's only' £5.

For whatever reason you and your husband have overspent in the past so now the both of you need to look at ways of getting the debt/loan paid off.

As a teacher on just a little less than you, I also understand how that it your take hone pay after deductions

Your DH earns the same as me but even though I pay into a work pension, my take home pay is over £300 higher. I don’t understand why that is.

Yabu to be skint on a joint income of £85k esp when you don’t live in the SE.

Yabu to say one salary is taken up by childcare but then later to say that really you have £1000 of that salary left after childcare.

Yabu to moan but then apparently do nothing about your situation and be snippy at people who try to help.

To the poster saying not buying a coffee and cancelling Netflix doesn’t help, no it won’t but not buying a coffee (or two) every day and cancelling sky (which I understand costs most people £50-£100 per month) might.

I don’t understand why you don’t want advice OP. Do you think you are doing everything you can already or do you just feel entitled to live a certain way?

No OP, most people are not like you.

How much debt you’re in is pretty relevant to your thread.
It doesn’t matter why you’re in debt, you don’t have to make this personal.
It’s not personal enough for you to make a whole thread about your finances.

Your debt is clearly your issue

Just to turn things on their head. What things do you think you'd like I.e. your wishlist, that you dont currently have? If these get planned into the future that might make life feel more interesting than just a constant treadmill to make ends meet.

Sometimes it's easier to work from pricing up the list of wants and then adjusting the list of what you currently spend.

You mention teaching and also childcare. Are you paying holiday childcare? In our area some providers offer term time only childcare as they fill the spaces with holiday cover in the school holidays. This could make quite a difference if it's an option.

I wouldn't consider reducing pension contributions if you're around 50k as you'd loose child benefit.

When your first loan is paid off in April have you thought how that money will be allocated? I'm a big fan of a three month income emergency pot. Its like an interest free overdraft that is a buffer for ever more, so long as no major emergencies. The buffer for me is like a pressure relief knowing that any big bill that comes in can be covered. It stops that horrid scrabbling round for cash feeling and comparing credit card rates etc when actually the issue is cash flow.

Sorry haven’t read the whole thread but I am place marking because we are def in the same sort of a situation OP!

Why ask for help if you’re going to rude and make it personal ffs?

She's said several times that she's not asking for help. (I'm not letting it stop me. )

The very first thing you need to do is print out 6 months worth of statements for your accounts.

Comb through and note down the costs of your essential bills (the ones that allow you to stay alive - mortgage, food, heat, water). These are your priority bills and cannot be done away with.

Then comb through and note down all your less essential but still important (car, insurances, debts, credit cards, childcare etc)

Then the not so nice part. Be brutally honest and add up all the little treats. These will seem like pennies at the time but I can guarantee that this is what is building up and shagging you.

Once you have a clear picture of your financials over the last six months you can begin to fix it.

Start by agreeing to forgo the treats for a month. Take out, in cash, what you need for fuel, childcare, commuting and only use this cash to pay for those things. Do not use your debit cards or credit cards for anything for a month. See what is left in the account after that month.

If you are still struggling then it is time to start calling people and shopping around. Call your debtors and explain your predicament. They won't mind and will help you (it's not nice, I know, but they will help and are nice people).

Check to see if you can swap out cards for zero interest ones. Look to see if your mortgage can be swapped. Maybe a childminder would be cheaper than nursery?

I've been there, I've been on the bones of my arse choosing not to eat so my kids could. I got out of it and am now comfy and on a significant amount less salary than you.

No, I wasn’t going to opt out of the pension.

jelly, I think, and I’m honestly not trying to be rude, but when you’re in debt you either pay it off, or you don’t.

Now if I opt NOT to pay it off then obviously that’s going to lead to serious consequences. IVAs and bankruptcies are serious things, they aren’t thing you do because money is really tight.

I feel your pain haus

I don't understand the point of the thread. Is it just to have a moan about how poor you are on 85k?

You need Martin Lewis website, money saving expert - there's lots of people on there with the same sort of income / debt.

In the short term could you tutor ?

I wouldn't stop the pension unless you absolutely had to, it's too valuable in the future.

For a salary of £45k you should take home about £2,800 a month. On £40k about £2,500. So your joint monthly income should be £5,300. Teacher's salary you would be paying just under 10% of your gross pay on pension so at a maximum about £700 a month into pension. So at a generous guess, and it will be a bit more, the minimum you will get per month is £4,600. Considerably more than the £3,900 you are claiming.

£4,600 with £1700 childcare bill off is £2,900. That is enough for a family to live on happily. It is not enough to live on if you are bad with money. If you are bad with money you need to draw up a budget and stick with it.

I would not put my children in the term time only child care available in this area, it’s dire! ( the better nurseries don’t need to offer it) And quality of childcare is not something I would compromise in.

@mindproject Yes I think it is a woe is me thread. Rather than actually taking any responsibility and recognising that as most of us are parents, we all have to pay childcare usually on far smaller wages.

@feetfreckles
On income of around £4500 / month, with £1500 taken by childcare and (say) £1500 by housing (OP is silent on how much is hers, I am just using London low / out-of-London high estimate), are you able to show how to afford luxuries after necessities on the remaining £1500 for a family of four?
I am not being goady, but just reminding you that, according to the Child Poverty Action Group, the poverty line for a family of four (in 2015) was at around £1300 / month after housing and childcare.

No mind because we are not poor, but sometimes solidarity with others in the same boat can be therapeutic.

No karen nowhere near.

Same italian, the only one offering term time childcare was a childminder miles away and it was horrible.

You have to track every penny then look to see if you can get it for cheaper.

It isn’t just about cutting down on the big outgoings but looking at the pennies or few pounds here and there that add up.

Can see how you have only £3900 income on £85000 per annum salaries
Dp was earning £100000 and his income was £4300 per month

@SympatheticSwan I have always thought the child poverty actions group figure is utter nonsense.