to be freaked out by all these terrible MIL stories, and to think that could be ME in a few years' time?

[mm22bys]

I am really saddened by all these terrible MIL stories.

Does anyone have a good relationship with their MIL?

My two grandmothers were loved by their DC-in-laws, and I get on great with my MIL, but she saddened me a few years ago when DS1 was only 7 months old by telling me that I should have a DD, as DSs will only go on to break my heart.

She has two DDs herself, and two DSs, and I hate to think that she feels like my DH, her DS2, has broken her heart (which would make me partly to blame!).

Even her DS-in-law has been brain-washed too - when SIL was pregnant with a girl, he said he would prefer a girl as he has heard that DDs treat their parents better than DSs do (especially in old age...)

Then....friends of mine go on (other women) about how terrible their in-laws are, and I think, hey hang on, I have two DSs, which would make me a MIL one day too...

DS1 is only 3, DS2 only 9 months old, but I am already worried and sad about what might possibly happen in about 30 years time.

AIBU?

My MIL is an interfering nightmare. She has systematically interfered and poked her nose in with all her grandchildren. When I was pg, she exclaimed with delight that I was having the first dhsurname grandchild, really upsetting SIL ( her daughter) by implying the grandchildren she had given her were inferior in some way because they had a different surname to her!
My other SIL was ff and she said she should bf.
I was bf and she kept saying I should introduce formula! Almost as if she was trying to oppose everything we did just for the sake of it!
My dsis, on the other had has a lovely MIL. My sis is not married to her dp but her "MIL" says she regards her as a DIL anyway and my niece as her grandchild even though dniece is from my dsis' previous relationship. She buys her designer clothes for Christmas and is very supportive generally
I think it is true on MN that you see a lot of "nightmare MILs" but a lot of ranting is done on MN, if people are happy with their lot they tend to stay quiet about it.
I have 3 ds's and am pg with no 4. ( probably ds4 too!) I intend to be a fabulous MIL as I have had many lessons in how not to be one!

I think there are more bad stories than good on here...its like the news

I think the key ingredient to be a good mother or MIL is to be empathetic. That's all.

And if all women were empathetic we would have world peace once we were in charge...

Congrats chipmonkey - suspect we share a MIL?

stleger, don't think so, unless you've moved to Navan!

Both my mum and MIL died 8 1/2 years ago, but they were both good women.

Admittedly, the Queen of Sheba wouldn't have been good enough for her son in the early days, but she was always pleasant and polite. We had our ups and downs, but I consider that to be as much me being immature and not liking some of the things she said, as her being a bit of a bag on occasions. (ie we were both in the wrong, lol)

Our relationship changed when we had the boys. She absolutely doted on the boys, and even though we had differing opinions on childcare, she respected my choices.

Our relationship deepened further when she became ill, and I think she finally realised that her children were both happy -and that was the most important thing, even if she didn't like their choices.

If you ever are lucky enough to become a MIL, I reckon keeping one's mouth buttoned, being supportive and non interfering is all you need to be popular. Oh and accept that your children are all grown up now and if they need help, they'll ask.

I think it strange that a lot of posters on this thread say to take the negative posts about MILs with a pinch of salt and that the troubles are due to over hormonal new mums etc. V. patronising of mums, new or otherwise. I challenge anyone to find my MIL's behaviour acceptable!

Here here... Winky completely agree. I was a little taken aback but didnt want to say too much. Plus I think it is ok for the OP to be a little confused about the bad MIL if they have a good one and I guess that is what she was asking, but def not with a pinch of salt.