Is this intimidation at school gates?

[HitbyaCarSchoolRunMum]

Sorry this is an essay but don’t want to drip feed.

Around two months ago, as I was walking my young DS to school on the road, (no pavement as we’re very rural) a car hit me and threw me into the hedge. DS wasn’t hit but saw the whole thing. An ambulance was called and I was checked over but no broken bones. The police also sent someone who took statements.
I didn’t want to go to hospital as I was scruffily dressed, didn’t have my purse or phone on me and was worried about how I’d get home as we live over an hour away from the city hospital. The walk to school is less than 500 yards. I always get dressed in my dog walking clothes for walking to school intending to shower and change afterwards.
I received a call from the driver’s insurance company earlier in the week asking if I was ready to make a claim. They’d been in touch previously.
I’ve been having physio for whiplash and back pain, taking painkillers and my GP has recently prescribed sleeping pills for helping me sleep better. I haven’t walked along any rural roads since as I feel too anxious, so I drive the short distance to school if I’m doing the school pick up. DH has taken on majority of school pick ups and all the dog walking.
On Thursday the mum at school who ran into me started yelling at me outside the school gates because I’ll be claiming against her car insurance.
She kept saying “there’s nothing wrong with you, you shouldn’t be claiming on my insurance and don’t you even look at or speak to me....”
I felt very scared as no-one standing around said anything and pretended not to notice as they were collecting their children.
Since the accident only a small handful of mum’s have asked me how I am in the first couple of weeks but nothing since. I thought the school headmistress might have got in touch as she came over and put a blanket on me whilst I was lying on the ground waiting for the ambulance, but nothing. It’s as if everyone wants to pretend it didn’t happen.

We are very rural. The school has about 120 children and is a couple of miles from the main village and serves several small villages locally. We are the only family that live in walking distance. Everyone else comes by car or by school bus. We’ve been walking to school for 6 years so most of the parents driving to school will have seen us walking at some point.

My mum friend (not a mum at this school) says I should mention this to the police, but I don’t see how that will help the situation.

Yes it’s intimidation, I’d report to police, insurance company and school. Can you get the names of people who witnessed this?

The mom is pissed off because she messed up and her premium will increase.

I don't think anyone else is at fault - the headteacher and other parents did their bit. They don't need to keep asking if you're ok.

If she carries on, as it's on school grounds, report it to the school initially.

I hope you feel better soon x

I’d be so tempted to turn up on Monday with a neck brace and a crutch.

She is so out of order here, she is the one who shouldn’t be talking to you, not the other way around! Claim for whatever you need to, and if she approaches you again call the non emergency police number.

You absolutely should report it to the police, and to the school if it happened in the playground. I would also tell her insurance company but not sure they would care.

Report report report

I had a prang with a school df. His dw took it upon herself to text lots of abuse and threats. I gave him a cheque to have the absolute scuff removed as we agreed not via insurers - likely a magic sponge job imo. He cashed the cheque but the scuff remained. She all but demanded a new RR!! I ignored and have done for 2 years. She has tried to speak to me at parties etc. I blank her and always will.
Don't engage is my advice. She will look a loon and you can remain dignified. And carry on with your claim op.

God I’d be mortified if I’d ran into you with my car and would let the insurance do what it’s there for. Thang god she didn’t hit your son. Could have been a very different story.

Yes, report it YANBU.
I’d be absolutely devastated if I ever hit someone with my car. Even if they had apparently minimal damage. I’d be irritating the hell out if you by asking how you are and apologising!
Some people have a nerve!

I'd log the incident with non emergency police, she hit you with a car, and now shouting at you, she sounds delightful!!

Is something legal happening now? If the police attended & took statements, maybe she's been told she'll be charged with some driving offence - even if you haven't been told about it.

You could try asking the police what's happening with your case & also mention what she said to you more recently. You should have an incident number, so quote that.

What GiveHerHellFromUs said the woman who ran you over is a cf but everyone else is behaving fine.
If I was a mum at the school I’d have asked you how you were initially but I wouldn’t have kept asking about it. It’s been a few weeks now you can’t expect people to remember about it. It’s not that they’re pretending it didn’t happen but it just won’t be a major event on their radar. They’ll have though at time ‘oh that was a nasty accident I hope HitbyaCarSchoolRunMum is ok’, then once they’ve spoken to you and seen you were ok they’ll have thought well that’s ok then and forgotten about it.

Do you know if she's being charged with a driving offence? Either way, report this to the police.

You've been through a terrible situation and she should be apologetic and embarrassed. Do make sure that you receive all the medical treatment you need from the insurer.

Absolutely report her and any further occurrences to the Police.

If she is facing prosecution, ask the Police to add a condition to her pre-court bail that addresses this behaviour. You could also make sure the CPS know when it comes to her plea hearing that she has done this, so that any court-ordered bail can address the situation.

I'd inform the school out of politeness if this occurs on their property.

Not sure if i voted correctly, yabu to not report this!
This cf ran you over and is now threatening you! Report her!

I would advise the school of the incident on Thursday in case her behaviour escalates, as the school could ban her from the school grounds (our school banned 2 mums after an aggressive argument).

If you are having treatment that you need to pay for then of course her insurance should cover it, because she hit you with her car.

She is clearly not a nice person. I never understand when people take such offence at insurance claims, because that is exactly why you pay it, in case of a claim.

Report her to the police, then inform her insurance company. I'd let the school know too, just so they are aware
Fuck her

You're traumatised. Trauma is not well understood by most people unfortunately.

You've mentioned people not asking how you are. I don't think this is lack of care from the people around you, but lack of understanding.

You used to feel safe and in control walking along roads like that, and in an instant that was ripped away by an experience that made you feel afraid, vulnerable and out of control.

They are looking at it and thinking "how lucky she escaped serious injury" and think it's all over for you. They probably don't realise that you're still affected so badly. Whereas I imagine the physical issues are making it even harder for you to process the trauma? Your body won't let you forget about it.

I can't find a way to do a direct link but if you scroll down and click on "post traumatic stress" and then download the "leaflet" there's quite a decent booklet on coping after a trauma that you could flick through.

Even if it just makes you feel understood that would be positive, but as well as info to help you make sense of what you're going through it also includes practical coping strategies to try and activities to help your recovery if/when you feel ready to try them.

www.talkliverpool.nhs.uk/self-help/

Take care

I wouldn't report this, not after one occasion where she sounded off. If she continues yes, but not because she shouted at you once. It will just escalate it and make it worse.

Just ignore her, as hard as it is and don't retaliate. She sees you driving and dropping your kids to school and of course whip lash is the age old insurance scam, so she's thinking you're doing it for the money. Clearly you're not, but as said, if it continues then report, but not for once.

Also I'd say expecting people like the head to keep checking on you is a bit much.

Don't rush to settle. I had an accident a few years back. Initially I was concerned about my recovery, anxiety etc. But I was in a rush to get back to normal. DH was in a rush to settle- needed the money for something else. I was more or less recovered.
Later, I was diagnosed with a stress related illness which may have been precipitated by the accident. Your anxiety and not doing the school run are part of the claim.

Definitely ask head for advice- point out you haven't been doing school runs (which should form part of your claim) and now are being intimidated by her.

This might work as a direct link actually...

www.selfhelpguides.ntw.nhs.uk/merseycare/leaflets/selfhelp/Post%20traumatic%20Stress.pdf

And tell the Insurance company- they won't like it!

The mum is being stupid anyway. It sounds like she's already admitted liability so you claiming or not won't make a difference. I hope you're alright! And definitely claim.

Tell the police about the mum but I dint really understand why you would think people would still be asking you about it. I dont think they're ignoring it as harsh as it is they probably dont think about it anymore

Don't infer anything by people no longer mentioning it, it's over and done with as far as they are concerned.
I would contact the police now, but can understand if you decide to give her one chance and leave it if she doesn't do anything again. If she abuses you on school grounds inform the headteacher and the police. The Headteacher can if she wishes ban a parent for a period of time for behaviour like that.
I agree with other posters - don't rush to settle. I had an injury claim as the result as an accident and didn't commit to use my insurance company's solicitor. I went to a genuinely no win no fee solicitor and they fought much harder on my behalf. Including sending me to an independent consultant for an assessment of my injuries and the potential future impact. Just a thought.
I admire your restraint. I don't think I'd have been able to resist responding to her ranting with something along the lines of "You could be looking at a death by dangerous driving charge you stupid idiot".