Is this intimidation at school gates?

[HitbyaCarSchoolRunMum]

Sorry this is an essay but don’t want to drip feed.

Around two months ago, as I was walking my young DS to school on the road, (no pavement as we’re very rural) a car hit me and threw me into the hedge. DS wasn’t hit but saw the whole thing. An ambulance was called and I was checked over but no broken bones. The police also sent someone who took statements.
I didn’t want to go to hospital as I was scruffily dressed, didn’t have my purse or phone on me and was worried about how I’d get home as we live over an hour away from the city hospital. The walk to school is less than 500 yards. I always get dressed in my dog walking clothes for walking to school intending to shower and change afterwards.
I received a call from the driver’s insurance company earlier in the week asking if I was ready to make a claim. They’d been in touch previously.
I’ve been having physio for whiplash and back pain, taking painkillers and my GP has recently prescribed sleeping pills for helping me sleep better. I haven’t walked along any rural roads since as I feel too anxious, so I drive the short distance to school if I’m doing the school pick up. DH has taken on majority of school pick ups and all the dog walking.
On Thursday the mum at school who ran into me started yelling at me outside the school gates because I’ll be claiming against her car insurance.
She kept saying “there’s nothing wrong with you, you shouldn’t be claiming on my insurance and don’t you even look at or speak to me....”
I felt very scared as no-one standing around said anything and pretended not to notice as they were collecting their children.
Since the accident only a small handful of mum’s have asked me how I am in the first couple of weeks but nothing since. I thought the school headmistress might have got in touch as she came over and put a blanket on me whilst I was lying on the ground waiting for the ambulance, but nothing. It’s as if everyone wants to pretend it didn’t happen.

We are very rural. The school has about 120 children and is a couple of miles from the main village and serves several small villages locally. We are the only family that live in walking distance. Everyone else comes by car or by school bus. We’ve been walking to school for 6 years so most of the parents driving to school will have seen us walking at some point.

My mum friend (not a mum at this school) says I should mention this to the police, but I don’t see how that will help the situation.

I would log it in with the police

Thank you everyone for your kind supportive comments. Especially the posters sharing links and personal anecdotes. It really does help put things into a different perspective when you have other outside opinions.

Yes, I can see that for everyone else it’s business as usual and it makes sense that they’re not still asking me how I am. I guess because no-one said anything when she had a go at me, I just felt like they didn’t really care and I felt quite hurt by that, but I accept that that’s not necessarily the case. Living rurally, it can be quite isolating at times.

I’ve no idea if she will be prosecuted for hitting me with her car. I’ve not heard anything more from the police. It was a bright sunny morning but the sun was low in the sky and she kept saying she didn’t see me. In fact, she was quite annoying at the time because she was screaming very hysterically, and people were talking to her trying to calm her down when I was the one lying quietly in the road waiting for the ambulance. It was quite surreal at the time.

If you were both on your way to school , how did she hit you , you will have been walking into the oncoming traffic so would have seen her coming ? or did she take a bend too wide ? Regardless, she is lucky she didn't cause you or your child serious injury and for that she should be grateful, not mithering about an insurance claim. Makes you wonder how many points she already has on her license, which of course won't be her fault either.

People are probably intimidated by her - she sounds like an aggressive piece of work. The only contact she should have had with you is to buy you flowers and see if you are ok. Report her, tell the school this happened as well as she sounds volatile and hold your head up. You’ve done nothing wrong. She’s horrid.

During the incident at the school gate, people will have been shocked. Not many of us respond quickly enough in those kinds of situations.

@Frumpety I think you can probably approach the school from more than one direction and that it will have been a two way road. OP will probably have been on the side of the she deemed safest at the time. Or perhaps on the same side as the entrance. The car may have hit from the front or behind, either way the driver was not paying attention.

I’d be so tempted to turn up on Monday with a neck brace and a crutch.

THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What an idiot. She's clearly on one only because her premium will increase. Obviously she doesn't give two hoots about what happened to you, or should I say she did to you!!! Wish I could give her a punch for you 🤣. Just rise above it. Report it to the school if she comes near you again and the police

She runs you over and she is having a go at you! She should be ashamed of herself. It could have been a child she knocked down. Defo tell the police about her behaviour.

Op I'm so sorry for what you've been and are going through. I too was hit by a car, it drove up onto the footpath and hit me from behind, scooped me onto the bonnet and crashed through a rail and down a drop onto concrete with me still on the bonnet. I was incredibly fortunate because although I had a fraction skull and some bruising etc on the brain I had no other injuries and recovered relatively quickly. But the fact the woman driving the car tried so hard to deny any responsibility whatsoever for the accident and changed her story so many times really stung. People can be so damn selfish. I would not have been able to hold my composure if I experienced what you did with the mum at school gates!! What a vile thing to do to someone she hit with her car!! Makes me so angry for you. Absolutely report her OP and I hope you make a full recovery from everything asap (I had major anxiety around any traffic for 4 years after until I became a Christian and prayed and the next time I left the house I realised the anxiety had literally vanished!)

You are most definitely not being unreasonable. Her behaviour is totally unacceptable. I would report it to the school, police and your insurance company for information purposes.
I hit this lady’s car once whilst literally stuck in school traffic. It had snowed overnight. I was stationary and barely moved forward when my car hit hers.
A policeman visited my home that evening as a result. He said she was claiming. I laughed and said you’re joking. He checked my car for damage. Of course there was none. She had a scratched approx 3 millimetres on here and told the policeman she wanted me to pay for a full respray. No chance.
She came to school the following morning with a neck brace.
I was pml. Really. My car inched forward while practically stationary.
Some people eh.

My god, she HIT YOU with her car! She's lucky you're only claiming and haven't reported her to the police for dangerous driving, for goodness sake.

Tbf I wouldn’t get involved with two school mums shouting outside of the school so I can see why no one said anything

She’s shouting at you after hitting you with a car? She shouldn’t be on the road full stop never mind lecturing you about insurance.

Yes it's intimidation and sounds like she's only concerned for herself. I'd feel awful if I had hurt someone like that. She should be checking you are ok. What a horrible women. I would tell the police. She hit you with her car at the end of the day. Hope you feel better x

@HitbyaCarSchoolRunMum about 18 months ago a relative of mine had a crash on a dual carriageway (woman pulled out from a side street into the side of her car - she hadn't slowed down so hit relative at about 30mph, relative was doing 40). Police charged the woman with driving without due care and attention - they said this was pretty standard but didn't actually let the victim know until another relative contacted the police to ask.

She got sent on a driver awareness course despite the fact that relative ended up in hospital for 3 months and had life changing injuries so it's not exactly a great result in sense of punishment but at least there was some kind of repercussion.
If you contact the police they'll be able to tell you if she's been charged (it'll make you feel better )

It’s an odd quirk of human nature but, at an accident people are drawn to the one making the most noise rather than the most seriously hurt. This can even result in unconscious casualties being ignored.

Perhaps not many people have asked after you because they think you might be embarrassed by 'fuss' or wouldn’t want to be reminded of the incident. I guess some will think it can’t have been bad if you didn’t go straight to hospital. It’s how people's minds work.

I get really cross about that business of "I couldn’t see you" due to bright sun, or suchlike. Very simply, drivers are responsible for driving safely within whatever conditions prevail at the time. If that means reducing speed to walking pace, or stopping the car altogether, so be it.