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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Neighbour sits in her car in road for hours with engine running

106 replies

rumblefish23 · 10/01/2020 21:45

As title says, neighbour sits in her car on the road for hours with engine running, smoking fags, flicking buts out of her car onto pavement. Hours as in 3/4 hours. Can MN give me the balls to man up, can you give me words of wisdom to confront her (while she is sitting in her car)Smile

OP posts:
eyesbiggerthanstomach · 10/01/2020 22:22

@OneMoreRound okay I feel really stupid now. Would my heating in the car work without the engine on?! That's the only reason I have it on. Confused

PyongyangKipperbang · 10/01/2020 22:23

When the kids where little I would do this. If I didnt, no matter how often Ex was supposed to be in charge so I could have a break, I would always end up "just" passing him this, that. "Just" making up a bottle. "just" doing, in fact, all the things I managed to do on my own when he wasnt there.

I would often go for a drive too, for no other reason than an hour out of the house, that was more once he copped on to the fact that I hadnt actually left but was just sitting in the car.

I cannot imagine there is a reason why she would prefer to sit in the car instead of the house that is good, so why would you want to confront her? Maybe try and make friends instead, sounds like she might need one.

SchadenfreudePersonified · 10/01/2020 22:24

She'll have the engine on so the car heater warms up I would imagine.

Maybe not allowed to smoke in the house, maybe just wants to get out.

Don't know why she doesn't drive round though - I'd get fed up just sitting there myself.

PyongyangKipperbang · 10/01/2020 22:25

Call the police

Oh yes, they will come out for that when they rarely attend for burglaries or car theft Hmm

"A woman is sitting in her own car, causing no trouble and upsetting no one except a pearl clutcher who objects to the sound of an engine running. Better forget that elderly mugging victim and get round there!"

SnorkMaiden81 · 10/01/2020 22:25

@eyesbiggerthanstomach

No. The heater blower motor pulls the heat of the running engine into the cabin of the car.

TheOrigRightsofwomen · 10/01/2020 22:25

How many times has this happened?
Do you mean 45 mins ie 3/4 of an hour or actually up to 4 hours?

Please go and ask if she is ok.

Mind you, when I used my car as a safe place I didn't sit outside the home, I drove to a lay-by or car park until I was calm again. I probably shouldn't have been behind the wheel. Maybe she needs help.

ActualHornist · 10/01/2020 22:25

@eyesbiggerthanstomach it would work but you would drain the battery. There was a Mumsnetter a few years ago who was repeatedly running down her battery because she didn’t realise this!

FrogsFrogs · 10/01/2020 22:28

Idling is illegal and a real problem for pollution.

I can hear cars engines from the bedroom in our house.

Agree she may not be doing it for good reasons though.

Maybe leave a note on the window? I mean 10 mins here and there but hours is too much.

Lulualla · 10/01/2020 22:28

@PyongyangKipperbang
Yes, the police perform a lot of welfare checks. If she is trying to escape/hide from a situation in her home then she may need help.

ActualHornist · 10/01/2020 22:29

Yes sorry @SnorkMaiden81 is right. It would be warm for a bit while your engine is still warm.

PyongyangKipperbang · 10/01/2020 22:31

lulualla

If she is outside her own home, its unlikely. If she is trying to escape she would drive away, and a man stopping her would not allow her out there with the means to escape would he? Possible but unlikely.

More likely its like why I did it, to get some peace and quiet.

DickDewy · 10/01/2020 22:31

Maybe she’s just a selfish twit with scant concern for the environment?

Running your engine when stationary? Makes me very cross.

I’d sweep up her butts over a few days and put them in an envelope and post them through her door.

Lulualla · 10/01/2020 22:34

PyongyangKipperbang

If there is nothing wrong with her, then she can get in trouble for the idling. The noise and constant pumping out of pollution is not something OP should just accept when there are road laws to prevent it.

If there is something wrong, then she could get some help.

Either way, it's a win.

HollowTalk · 10/01/2020 22:35

She's not happy if she's doing that. I'd be more concerned with that than posting bloody cigarette butts through her door.

Justaboy · 10/01/2020 22:37

Sometimes do that myself if theres a piece on Radio 3 i'm listening to thats not finished, plus the car seat is the most comfortabel one ever:)

No smoking tho!.

70isaLimitNotaTarget · 10/01/2020 22:37

Don't know why she doesn't drive round though - I'd get fed up just sitting there myself

As soon as she drove off .....Whap someone would swoop in and swipe her on road parking.

Maybe there are Parking War CF NDNs and she wants to make them aware I have this space y'know ........ Mwah Ha Ha

Goldenwrapper · 10/01/2020 22:38

Could she be locked out her house? Maybe ask her if she is okay? Offer her a cup of tea?

Russellbrandshair · 10/01/2020 22:38

What is it that bothers you so much
Seriously?!!! Petrol fumes and unnecessary carbon monoxide being pumped into the air right outside my house, not to mention noise of engine right outside my window.

Bluerussian · 10/01/2020 22:40

It wouldn't bother me and I doubt I'd see her anyway because I tend to live at the back of the house, not the front. Even if I was at the front I wouldn't be looking out of the window.

I do wonder why she does it but she probably thinks nobody has noticed.

cabbageking · 10/01/2020 22:42

Perhaps being in her home is unsafe and she has removed herself from the situation?

Patchworksack · 10/01/2020 22:44

There is a man who has started doing this outside my house - just sitting in a knackered old red van with the engine on. Often he's there when I takes the kids to school and still there when I get back 40 mins later. Just why??

agonyauntie2020 · 10/01/2020 22:45

Lots of fumes that can get in under your door etc. Neighbor should not be doing this.

VenusTiger · 10/01/2020 22:51

So many people thinking car idling is okay - take a look at the carbon emission stats and children (who are shorter in height) pedestrians and also the bloody rumbling noise.
The fact is, her engine is running and it just doesn't need to be. She can sit in her car all she likes then.

Spartonian · 10/01/2020 22:53

Waiting for the floors to dry after moping

Better phone service reception

Does not smoke in the house

Quiet and peaceful in the car

I would assume engine running for either the heater or charging a mobile phone.

JayAlfredPrufrock · 10/01/2020 22:54

I challenged a couple sitting in a car outside my house with the engine running. They’d been there for 20 minutes and the noise was keeping me awake. I strode out in my dressing gown and took a picture of their car. The woman got arsey. The man apologised and they drive off.

Result.