He sleeps a lot

[whatsonmymind]

My partner sleeps a lot of the day. He works 8 hour shifts and will come home and nap for at least 2 hours. Will get a good 7 hours sleep at night. The rest of the time hes just sat looking miserable and yawning all the time. We have 2 DC's who probably get an hours worth of his time. When he has days off the day is mostly focused on his naps and his sleep. If I comment on it he just moans and says he's just tired. In the past he's said he likes having a nap to just get some time on his own when we were having some problems. We are fine now. Is it just him being lazy or could there be something wrong medically? I survive every day on between 4-5 hours and as a mum of 2 do not get the luxury of naps. Before I met him he would easily sleep 13-14 hours a day.

He needs to go to the doctors.

He might have sleep apnoea, he should see the doctor.
Is he overweight?

Is he depressed? I suffer from anxiety and depression and when I’m a very low I just want to sleep, I will feel exhausted both physically and mentally.

Take him to the doctors and make him get a blood test. The last time I slept all the time I had serious vitamin D deficiency. Is he overweight and not getting any exercise?

Hes 36 and weighs 9 stone so not overweight and his work keeps him active. He doesnt think he needs to go to the doctors but its affecting our lives aswell as his.

If he's only 9 stone he could be underweight? How tall is he?

His BMI is classed as healthy. I've asked him to speak to a doctor as I believe he may be struggling a bit with depression. It feels like hes checked out

Tbh 9 hours sleep isn’t out of the ordinary, just his times doing so

You are not sleeping enough and you need to address that. Read "why we sleep". Sleep is absolutely vital to health, both physical and mental.

13-14 hours a night is excessive on the other hand. He really needs to see a doctor.

Mine was like this when he suffered from depression

That is my worry. I feel sometimes that he uses his naps to get away from me and dc and I want to support him. He is not very good at showing any emotions and will never admit there is anything wrong. I'm scared of all possibilities

I know that when I'm sleeping a lot, it's because I'm hiding from the world. I think you should maybe encourage him to see his GP.

9 hours is perfectly normal.

my 9 y old weighs more than that hes just over 10 st.hes 5ft 3 though so not normal 9 y old size

doesnt matter what bmi say really not many men are 9st,unless your partner is very short hes underweight and suffering low energy because of it

I would suggest letting your partner know that his daytime naps are not compatible with family life and you'd like him to be more involved as he's missing out - the kids will be grown before you know it.

If he continues to insist that he has to nap as he's so tired, I'd suggest telling him that you're wondering if there might be a physical or psychological problem, which means he's not getting enough proper, quality sleep - hence the naps. I'd ask him to visit the GP (go with him if you can so you can be sure he's honest about how much he's sleeping and you'll also be aware of whatever suggestions the GP makes so you can help to implement them). I'd let him know that if he visits the GP, you'll "happily" let him get on with his naps, but if he refuses, let the kids play in whichever room he's sleeping in - preferably with drums!

I hope you manage to get to the bottom of the issue, it must be incredibly disruptive to family life, as well as being a real worry. Good luck!

YES, sleep problems are difficult to deal with. Feeling tired all the time can be for many reasons. as in depression.. some deficiency as with not eating properly, drinking too much alcohol, worrying about all things, the list goes on.

I would give anything to have a good nights sleep. I have really bad tinnitus, that keeps me awake for hours. I just kind of live with it, but it makes me into a zombie in the day.

Suggest he goes to bed 2 hours earlier so doesnt need a nap?

9 hours is fairly normal. Just because you survive on less doesn't make that a good thing.

HOWEVER being tired all the time and seeming 'checked out' aren't normal and usually indicative of a health issue. Possibly vitamin deficiency, thyroid/ hormone issue or depression.

Check for Lymes also

I used to need a nap when I got home from work when I had an undiagnosed B12 deficiency.

9 hours is ALOT of sleep. 6-8 is fairly normal for a parent. I’d get him to the doctor.

Sorry was meant to say on average about 7 hours then a 2 hour nap. Last night he slept 12 hours and still is miserable and tired.

Is he bothered about it? It might be that he is just trying to step out of family life.
Did he sleep as much before you had children?

I don’t think 9 hours is excessive, but he needs to give up his own time to get it I think.

He doesn’t sound very well. He also sounds selfish that he’s sloping off to bed to nap and leaves you to do everything, having had multiple nights of minimal, broken sleep.

What would he say if you asked him to watch DC while you went for a (well-earned and much-overdue) nap?

I was like this and has ceoliac’s disease. I would fall asleep all over the place especially after I had eaten