Have you ever been attracted to someone because of the lifestyle?

[Maiahee]

Eg good job, good prospects, independently wealthy

Of course that makes someone attractive. It wouldn’t be the sole reason but I wouldn’t ever date some cocklodger with zero aspirations himself

Yeah. My boyfriend at 17 had a car. Didn't fancy him before he had a car... was all over it once he did.

No. I have my own ‘good job’.

I also have a good job - but find it very attractive when someone else does too/is ambitious

I think loads of women put up with shut off a man if he has money and a good job. I've seen it myself firsthand a few times. But usually the women would rarely admit they are there as they don't fancy the alternative.

Yes of course !

Generally yes - but I have my own good job and am financially independent anyway. I think most people want someone who has the same sort of ambitions in life as they do.

Some people will actively target those richer than them because they want the lifestyle without having to put any of the work in to get it.

But my general rule of thumb would be to not expect something of your future partner that you're not bringing to the table yourself. Whether that's ambition, an education, or money and so forth.

Yes but I'm FI and have a good job . I want to date an equal

Only if they have the attitude to go with it. I once dated someone with a nice car/house/lifestyle but it was all via parents money. He himself was pretty lazy and had no ambition in life as he felt he didnt need to work. He didnt last long...was like dating a cabbage. My current DP and i have managed to get ourselves a nice lifestyle but through hard work and his commitment and ambition (and mine) has been attractive to me.

Absolutely, as an independent, attractive and financially comfortable woman, why would I ever want to be with a man who is happy sitting on his arse all day.

Yes I find the smell of cow shit weirdly alluring

Definitely with a farmer because of the 'lifestyle' rather than the money. We have plenty of life but no money.

I met DH when I was 20 so its hypothetical but I don't think noe I'd be attracted to someone who wasn't as 'grown up'/settled as most of my peers are at my age (32).

I don't mean anything special just normal/sensible adults eg. have bought houses or are saving, are in career jobs or working/studying towards them...so not anything special but I'd find someone still living like they were much younger unattractive.

It's not so much that I would be attracted because of the lifestyle; I've made my own money, don't need any man to keep me. But if he were unemployed, the kind of lazy scrounger that you read about on Mumsnet - not a chance.

Absolutely. Not so much for myself but I thought if I’m going to have DC I want them to have a nice home, car, access to extra curricular activities and experiences, and a mum who can be there for them because she doesn’t have to work full time. I grew up in poverty with very little support or attention from parents and I didn’t want my DC to experience that.

Wealth, no

But reasonable ambition and a strong sense of responsibility is very attractive.

Can't say I have. I never wanted children so I had the luxury of choosing and staying with a partner for love, nothing else. I was brought up to look after myself financially and not to rely on a man.

I'm definitely attracted to drive and ambition, not so much rich per week although i accept they can often be the same thing.
Someone who wants to better themselves all the time and do well.

Absolutely. I work hard in a job I love, went to University and am financially independent but there's always something attractive about someone who has their shit together.

DH had long gorgeous hair, played electric guitar in a heavy rock band and had an awesome motorbike BUT he had zero money, worked full time and was zero worldly wise.

I earned triple what he earned.

I loved watching him play in his band, he was my boyfriend and it was so attractive.

Hmm now he has a bald head, big bear belly, hasn’t played a guitar or ridden a motorcycle for donkeys years but he is wonderful in other ways nowadays..

Isn't everyone? I've been attracted because of their lifestyle ie they live their life in a way I can identify with and appreciate. It's not about their wealth or status. If they're not living in a way that attracts me to them, they're not attractive!

Yes, I definitely liked the fact that when I met my now-DH he had a successful career, house, car, spoilt me with presents and holidays etc (I had my own career, flat etc so wasnt gold digging). It was part of his very attractive package.

If he’d been a dickhead it wouldn’t have swayed me, though. Luckily he was also a lovely guy.

I think it is more ambition that attracts me, than lifestyle per se though it is nice not to have to double-check/tip toe around someone’s feelings if I want to do something a bit expensive.

Like PP, I am wealthy in my own right & earn my own money but relationships have foundered with guys not on the same wavelength - in 2 cases because they resented not being the breadwinner.

Yes, my weird crush Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall.

Uh, yes! My ex is in the music industry. It helped that he is super succesful, very good looking, had banter, treated me wonderfully, was very caring and was hung like a donkey. We had fun for two years then had to go seperate ways BUT he is the only one I'd keep the door open for.

I'm attracted to people who have a similar lifestyle to me.