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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Two year old TV in the daytime

51 replies

Mumofone1902 · 09/01/2020 11:10

I haven't posted this before and try pretend it isn't happening as much as it is but I think I need help.

I try my best. Today we were up at 7, we have dug in the garden, coloured in a big Amazon box with crayons and pens but already Peppa pig is on and she will probably stay on most the day.

AIBU to be letting my son watch TV for hours a day?

I honestly don't know what to do and would love any advice. I run a playgroup once a week and he does another playgroup 2 days a week but the rest of the time I find it so hard.

I work evenings, am unable to use my legs properly at the moment and don't have a car so can't do anything too energetic or far away.

I have a huge craft section but he is only ever entertained for 15-20 mins at a time and I don't have enough activities to keep him entertained for a whole day in 20 minute increments?

Tell me either I'm not being unreasonable and it's okay or give me advice on how to fix it!

OP posts:
CakeandCustard28 · 09/01/2020 11:12

Your son will survive. Don’t worry. Grin Mine used to watch a fair bit of TV in between play groups, crafts and playing in the garden.. did them no harm.

beautifulstranger101 · 09/01/2020 11:17

When I was a kid I used to spend every day with my grandparents whilst my mum and dad were at work. My grandparents had the tv on 24/7. Thats all they did. Never turned it off (apart from night time).
I managed to get two university degrees, start my own business, brilliant friends, good social life and a great husband and awesome children. I think your son will be absolutely fine!
Now obviously, I dont agree with using tv as a babysitter but as long as you are doing other stimulating activities with him throughout the day then a few hours tv is not going to do any harm. Reading and talking to kids is very important so I'd make sure to do lots of that too.

Original poster
Mumofone1902 · 09/01/2020 11:17

@cakeandcustard28 it's mad as some friends say I do loads with him and not much TV and others act like I'm raising him via the TV! I have no measure as to how much is too much! I need summer so we can just sit in the garden all day again!

OP posts:
Wildorchidz · 09/01/2020 11:19

How many hours is he actually sitting watching tv?

RhymingRabbit3 · 09/01/2020 11:21

Usually my advice would be to get outside and go to the park or something else outdoors, but if you cant walk far or drive you're very limited. Is there a bus route nearby that can take you anywhere - the bus trip becomes part of the fun for a child that age.
Do you have friends from the playgroup who you could visit or can visit you?

FredFlinstoneMadeOfBones · 09/01/2020 11:21

I think watching more than 2 hours of TV (or other screen time) a day regularly (if someone's ill or there's some other reason to have it on all day occasionally then fine) for a two year old is too much. It's certainly not exactly SS territory but it's definitely better for him to watch 2 hours or less.

Poetryinaction · 09/01/2020 11:21

I use tv for me. When I want some peace and quiet. Not when they ask, and certainly not on in the background all the time.
I don't find there's much time for tv. Mine all followed me around the house while I did housework, or we went to the shops, park or library. Stuck the tv on while I made lunch or dinner.
It sounds like your son has plenty of stimulation to me.

Original poster
Mumofone1902 · 09/01/2020 11:24

@beautifulstranger101 your post is exactly what I needed to read! I remember my childhood and think it was mostly TV but I can't remember! I talk over TV and ask him to point at things as well as trying to force fun craft on him! Luckily we have a cat so she can usually pry him from the TV!

OP posts:
Camomila · 09/01/2020 11:25

I think sometimes small DC struggle to think of 'what to play/get out' when DS was smaller I would set up/build him a train track or car track or get out the toy food and some teddys and then once they were out he'd happily play for ages.

He still has very little interest in crafts at nearly 4.

FredFlinstoneMadeOfBones · 09/01/2020 11:27

Hours and hours of TV every day isn't great to be honest. On the other hand you don't have to be an entertainer/teacher 24 hours a day. Are you perhaps putting too much pressure on yourself with craft activities etc? I would just rotate the toys around. Get out the kitchen stuff in the morning and let your son guide his own play. Then get out the puzzles/brio/duplo/whatever else he likes after lunch. It's fine to watch an hour of TV here or there but not have it on all day.

Shinedown · 09/01/2020 11:30

Very hard at this age, not fond memories for me. The days were hard to fill especially at this time of year.

My advice would be to break up the tv with time outdoors, walk to the park, walk in the pushchair - morning and afternoon.

Original poster
Mumofone1902 · 09/01/2020 11:30

There is a park 10 minute walk away but after he has run around at the park and I have chased him I find the walk home too difficult.

We have used the bus once but becuase I don't look disabled (I have my blue badge but it doesn't really do much) I ended up in bed for 2 days from walking to the stop and standing waiting then standing on the bus as compared to all the older people sat in the disabled section I look fine.

He doesn't actually watch the TV staring, he plays around it but gets angry if I change channel so is I guess watching it in the background.

Summer is easy as he can be outside on his toys in the garden, but cold is bad for me as I find it harder to walk so we can't do much.

No friends from playgroup, my mum friends are mostly friends who are now mums who live far away and don't visit regularly. I try to make friends but it just hasn't worked out for me!

OP posts:
JosefKeller · 09/01/2020 11:40

with a 2 year old, I pretty much didn't use tv - kept it for emergencies like moving or me with the flu.

When the kids are used to play with their own toys, they don't miss it. They are too young to understand it's there but they are not allowed to watch it.

I never had "activities" at home with my kids - but I could take them out every day to be fair. I got on with my chores, they were either "helping" or playing with their own things. A 2 year old is too young to be bored, they really don't need tv.

GhoulWithADragonTattoo · 09/01/2020 11:40

Can you walk the 10 minutes to park? If you can I'd walk there and let DS run on his own while you sit down. Wear warm clothes, take a flask.

FredFlinstoneMadeOfBones · 09/01/2020 11:40

I imagine he's just used to having the TV on now, I would just gently try to break the habit. Maybe put the volume down at first then gradually delay turning it on.

Wiaa · 09/01/2020 11:42

By the sounds of it he's not actually sitting watching TV all day its just on. My 3yr old moans if i put mommy and daddy programmes on but he's not actually watching the TV he's playing with toys. At 2 you don't need to always be doing craft ect just roll a ball back and forth, build brick towers play with cars, dolls, nursery rhymes, pretend food/tea party, play shop, make music. Half of this you can do while still sitting comfy on the sofa with a cuppa x

Appletreehouse · 09/01/2020 11:45

TV for more than 2 hours on some days is fine I think, how much more is more and how often? If it's every day I think you need to consider other activities, although I wouldn't worry too much. It must be hard if you're not able to be active, as I spend a lot of time outdoors with my 2 year old which he loves.

How about museums, the library, soft play, taking a bus or train ride for a picnic then back again.

In the house we play a lot of imagination games, have indoor picnic with his teddy bears, read books, build dens from sofa cushions, hide and seek, baking, sing nursery rhymes, play dough, have long baths.

DesLynamsMoustache · 09/01/2020 11:50

I think if that's it on for the rest of the day it probably is longer than I would personally feel comfortable with. Does he do much in the way of independent play with toys and playing that you don't have to supervise or be involved with?

DesLynamsMoustache · 09/01/2020 11:52

And if it's just on for background noise, then maybe try the radio or something! I think a screen being on all the time isn't great to encourage kids to do other stuff. My DD is only one, but if there is a screen on, it does distract her from her other playing, even if she isn't sitting watching it completely. She will keep glancing at it, or stop what she's doing and watch for a few mins, and I don't really like that so unless we are watching something, the TV stays off.

Happymummah · 09/01/2020 11:52

It’s a hard age. Mine used to watch a couple of hours of tv, I don’t think it is the worst activity.

Can you give him a long bath so he can have some water play? Mine loved long playtime baths.

Get him to ‘help‘ sort out the clean laundry pile, re organise your clothing drawers? Mine loved folding and putting into colour groups.

I used to take mine for long drives in the car. Listening to music and looking our the window. In lots of ways that was probably similar to watching telly anyway Confused

I also used to play stories and songs cds while they played with toys. This helped to fill in the quiet.

Emmacb82 · 09/01/2020 11:53

I have the tv on most of the day, but it’s usually on things that I want to watch. I limit his programmes to early morning and then before bedtime. Because we’ve always done this, he’s not actually that bothered about it being on and ignores it most of the time. We quite often put the music channels on as my ds loves music and dancing. I just like the company in the background!
Most days we are out and about doing stuff so I don’t feel guilty about the odd day of tv here or there. I also work nights and don’t get much sleep and I’m pregnant with number 2 so I need to have a quiet day sometimes x

Morgan12 · 09/01/2020 11:53

Everyone watches TV all the time.

This whole screen time thing really makes me laugh. We are all on screens. All. The. Time.

ActualHornist · 09/01/2020 11:56

My kids are 8 and nearly 11 and I can’t remember how much tv they watched as toddlers but I guarantee you it was a lot.

They’re fine. He’ll be fine. You do plenty of stuff with him (for contrast, we don’t have a garden, so never did the digging, and I didn’t take them to toddler groups).

Cookit · 09/01/2020 12:00

We have TV on loads. We watch TV, have breakfast, read a book, watch TV, play kitchen, watch TV while I make lunch, watch TV, go to the park, read more more books, watch TV, draw and do puzzles ... Etc I don’t think it’s that bad at all.

Monstermummymum · 09/01/2020 12:01

Please don't feel guilty. It sounds like he's doing other stuff too. I have two toddlers (2 and 1) and have the TV on a lot- on cbeebies. They have toy rotation, they go to four toddler groups a week, the park each afternoon, bake things, do crafts etc. My two year old has a broad vocabulary and talks in long sentences so I don't think it has hindered his development. I do stop TV in the afternoon so when not at the park, we play in their bedroom where there is no screen. We have music on instead. We definitely have TV on more than two hours a day though. I think you rotation is a game changer. I sorted all toys into boxes and take a new one out each day. Another thing you could do is set up his toys into small worlds or tuff trays. I often out his diggers on cereal and that keeps him entertained for hours!