Two year old TV in the daytime

[Mumofone1902]

I haven't posted this before and try pretend it isn't happening as much as it is but I think I need help.

I try my best. Today we were up at 7, we have dug in the garden, coloured in a big Amazon box with crayons and pens but already Peppa pig is on and she will probably stay on most the day.

AIBU to be letting my son watch TV for hours a day?

I honestly don't know what to do and would love any advice. I run a playgroup once a week and he does another playgroup 2 days a week but the rest of the time I find it so hard.

I work evenings, am unable to use my legs properly at the moment and don't have a car so can't do anything too energetic or far away.

I have a huge craft section but he is only ever entertained for 15-20 mins at a time and I don't have enough activities to keep him entertained for a whole day in 20 minute increments?

Tell me either I'm not being unreasonable and it's okay or give me advice on how to fix it!

Everyone watches TV all the time.

Er, no they don't

Mine does too, I don't think will do any harm aslong as he is stimulated otherwise with activities

I really don't think it does any harm as long as the programmes are suitable and you are interacting with him about the programme he is watching. A lot of the CBeebies programmes are very educational - and not just learning to read/count but nature/cooking/food/music etc. talk to him about the things and he will learn. My two DCs watched a lot of TV and are now mid/late teens. It really hasn't done them any harm. DS did brilliantly in GSCEs and DD is heading the same way.

Perhaps you could use a programme as a springboard for another activity - ooh look * is cooking with their Mum, shall we see if we can make some biscuits? etc

Toddlers don't need special activities to keep them amused though. Let him help with cleaning and tidying, putting washing away, matching socks, bowl of soapy water and let him wash up the plastic stuff etc.

Books, singing, dancing, making musical instruments (shakers etc) to play along with music.

1- I tend to have the tv on in the background at home...Im sorry I like a bit of noise, doesnt stop my LO playing (unless it's Peppa sodding Pig)
2- it must be v hard without a car

when im not working my plan generally is

wake/ breakfast (with the tv on)
get dressed- go out and do something:

Park- luckily we have 6 decent ones near us so we can mix it up
Soft play- again 3 options
Trampoline Park- toddler session
Food Shopping- dont underestimate the change to learn and kill some time in an Aldi
Shopping Centre- browse and a coffee
Farm

then its home and lunch and sleep

after that only 2 hours to kill before dinner so visit relatives, or play at home: toy kitchen, puzzles, colouring, play shops etc

dinner- with tv
bath
book
tv
bottle
bed

phew- survived :)

I have a similar problem with turning the tv off once it’s back on. Ds is 3 and would watch Thomas the tank all day given a chance. If I don’t turn it on he will play (as long as he isn’t tired or poorly) but once it’s on turning it off again is meltdown tantrums.

My current tactics are delay putting it on as long as possible I aim for after 3 if possible (easier said and done)
once on if I need him to eat dinner or bath etc I say you can have more once you’ve done x y or z.
My ds loves playing outside so I let him even if it’s raining we just put boots and plastic all in one on. We were in the park yesterday in the rain, but I don’t have your disability.

Other things to try, rotate toys/activities. Put toys into boxes and bring out some at a time. You can go back to the same toys in the afternoon again but if they are there all the time they become less fun. Even changing rooms can help. Get him to help, ds likes putting stuff into the bin/laundry basket/passing pegs, it might make the job longer but it occupies.

I hope some of these suggestions may help, but we’re still working on it to so some days tv is more than I’d like but that’s life!

Get out the kitchen stuff in the morning and let your son guide his own play.

This is really tough if you have a child who isn’t interested in independent play. OP it’s exhausting feeling like you have to entertain a toddler for an entire day (who knew days were so long?! ) I think he kind to yourself. My daughter is 3 in two weeks and honestly she has watched a lot of telly the past few years (not all day everyday). She is now at nursery 3 afternoons a week and is very social, very chatty for her age and is very engaging with people. He will be fine

my toddler watches a fair bit of TV but i do make sure we go out and do something every day even if it's not much more exciting than a trip to the supermarket. I'm 3 days overdue so lately it's been hard. I'm sitting in the garden (on mumsnet) whilst he moseys about digging right now. if he wasn't content though he wouldn't be leaving me alone. but then we are waiting for a fridge delivery so can't go anywhere anyway! this time of year particularly difficult i think. i was allowed to watch very little TV when i was his age but i've got bad mental health and fucking love tv now, haven't achieved anything great in my life (yet i am still younger than beyoncé) so what good did it do me! i just try to turn it off after early morning and then it goes back on as late as possible but after 4pm I'm pretty relaxed that we've done enough.

Some TV is fine as long as at other times he is stimulated - which you do.
Can you get to a swimming pool (was thinking this is non weight baring for you and therefore maybe easier) I used to do this until my disability got too bad. Went on the days the pool was warmer.
Another idea (I did with my twins) rotate toys so they seem more interesting so every week get a different batch out, also the same with books.
Would he bake with you or help cook tea?
I used to play hide and seek but by sitting in my chair and saying 'are you behind the sofa?' etc at two you'll know where he is everytime can drag it out!
Also can you fetch me 5 things that are green - then they have to put them back!
My eldest always made trains with the dining room chairs all his soft toys went for a ride (we made tickets and we used a whole punch to stamp them).
My Dt loved to make indoor tents and would spend hours in there.
Encourage roll play as he'll be having more understanding of the world around him.
Could you introduce a timer 30 minutes TV then a different activity?
If on some days he watches more TV than you want so be it, you have to do what you need to get through the day. Try not to beat yourself up - your a good mum as your reaching out.

I have the TV on with my two year old during certain parts of the day. He does nursery 3 mornings a week and one playgroup. We get out and go for walks and see family etc too. He's pretty happy playing with his trains and cars most the time but if he starts getting really grouchy or I need to do something then 10 minutes of cbeebies it is. I wouldn't worry about it sounds like your son does plenty of stimulating things during his week.

My 2 year old has TV on every day at some point. We also do toddler groups 4 times a week, go shopping on the bus, go to cafes, the park, for walks, do baking, painting, drawing, stickers, play dough, stampers, gluing, read books, play toy kitchens, shops, cars, trains, puzzles etc etc etc. She also helps me around the house. I don't think a couple of hours of the TV on in the background or even sometimes actually being watched (Mr Tumble) is a bad thing at all. Sounds like you do plenty, OP. Give yourself a break.

We used to only watch TV from 1 so will try to start that again tomorrow then go from there. Mornings are easier as I have energy and am not in as much pain as I haven't walked yet.

The issues with being a disabled mum and working evenings means if I use too much energy with my son I then can't cope at work. I am not allowed any more sickness at work so I have to really try to entertain him and not over do it.

We try and have bath before bed to calm him down but when he's being fussy I give him a bath in the day as he likes playing in it and it gives me a break.

I will tell him to bring me a book and we will read it but only when they are the short books. If there are too many words on each page he gets annoyed and wanders off!

He has toys in rotation and the rest are in toy bags upstairs. It does help as they are exciting for him but same as in my original post. Things only really entertain him for 15 minutes at a time. I just set up the stickle bricks for him and he was so excited but then got bored and wandered off. He just seems to have a very short attention span unless he has TV as background noise.

I have a 9yo and 2yo. Our TV is on all day, he only really watches when hes tired, we play, we talk, we go out almost every day, he helps with breakfast, hes learning well and tbh I see no harm. If he glued to it and didnt do anything else then yes that's a problem but his attention isnt on the tv all the time.

I used to always have the TV on but read the evidence that even background TV is bad for language development. It's hardly going to be dramatic and stop them talking at all but it's definitely much better to have it off. If they're that used to having it on they complain about it off they're obviously focused too much on it. I'm glad I stopped having mine on. We're all less distracted.

I found that my DD was watching a lot of tv and it was too much mainly for me rather than her as I was bored out of my brain by it so I started a routine where she gets up and gets to watch her programmes then after we get dressed it either goes off or my stuff goes on and then between about 3-6 (after her nap) her stuff goes back on. She wasn’t very happy about it but I stood firm and I noticed that after she got used to it she started playing with her toys again far more.
I don’t think there’s anything wrong with what you’re doing but equally why should you have to watch kids tv all day especially if he’s not really watching it and has just got used to it as background noise

I don't think you should feel guilty as it doesn't help anyone, and you're in a very difficult situation with your health and transport options. That said, I'm surprised by the number of people saying hours of TV is fine for a toddler - expert advice says it's best to have NO screen time before the age of 2, and then very limited screen time for several years. My local children's centre always said an hour a day should be the maximum.

If I were you I would focus on finding ways to get out of the house more and build up contacts with other mums. Playdates in the park mean you and another mum can sit on a bench while kids play. Playdates at home mean you can rest with a cuppa while kids play together. I honestly can't imagine surviving the toddler years without lots of meet ups. Break up the day with low-key outings and meet ups and you'll find it much easier to fill the rest of the time at home.

Everyone watches TV all the time.

This whole screen time thing really makes me laugh. We are all on screens. All. The. Time.

no, just you.

you don't have to set activities for the children all the time you know.
it's ok to have a couple of things ready to play, but then they have free access to pretty much the rest of the house. It's ok to let children just.. be. Wander around, explore, find things to do. If it's easier for you, put gates on rooms you would be worried about, but just let hm do his own things (suitable for a 2 years old).

If your child doesn't learn to be independent, you are making your life so much harder. Really no need for the tv.

I don't understand these people who leave the tv on for themselves, but moan that news or some daytime crap are completely unsuitable for toddlers who pick it up. No shit!

I had this issue with my twins (2yo) when I went through a really rough patch last year and they weren't quite at the point of being interested in toys.

I try to rotate between structured and non-structured play now for them and do still have a bit of TV at the ready for rough days (like today where I'm operating on 2.5hrs of sleep because DS decided he wanted to practice his singing until silly o'clock this morning!).

How is your DS with free play? The idea I went with is have two tubs of loose toys and their usual building blocks, stickle bricks and a couple of electronic toys and they get let loose on them - they don't focus for a great amount of time on one toy specifically, but they do enjoy flitting between what's on offer.

Does he nap at all? I found the best way to martial my DTwins screen time is to use it as part of their wind down routine, so they get 30 mins of Hey Duggee before afternoon nap then 30 mins of something else in the evening before we start their bedtime routine.

I don't think screen time is too detrimental if your DS if he's developing at the usual rates. I'm as strict as I can be for my two because they are delayed in speech.

On really hard days I might have the TV on in the background but choose documentaries (age appropriate) and have it on subtitles with no sound or very low sound, that helps with DS who would otherwise be attached to me every second of the day :')

Sounds like you're doing the best you can with each day OP and that's all we can do in the end

Are you on Instagram? I would recommend following a few people like fiveminutemum and playhooray. They give heaps of ideas for small children...many of the ideas are using regular household items and dont take long to set up. I have found these invaluable for keeping my little one entertained without screens.

I sometimes think we (parents of small children) judge the amount of TV they watch against the amount we watched as children, and think that our habits where better, but forget how little children's tv was actually available 30 years ago.

Our parents didn't make a decision to restrict our viewing based on research and professional advice, they just let us what the limited amount of children's tv that was available. I have no doubt that we would all have watched a lot more if it had been available.....

You're doing well.
You've got this.
TV is fine.
Mary, Mungo and Midge taught me most of what I know.

Is he actually watching it? I found DD2 would ask for the TV on but then more often than not she'd wander off and play with her toys for hours just dipping in and out if I left it on.

My DN is 18 months and he loves Paw Patrol. He insists on having it in either the TV or the tablet several times a day. My DS usually lets him, it will hold his attention for a couple of episodes, then he starts to wander and she turns it off while he plays with something else. Sometimes if he's getting a bit wild, she'll use it to distract him and settle him down. He does seem to spend a lot of time watching TV but he's very bright, inquisitive and spends equally as long playing alone and with my DS so as long as it's not 24/7 and there are other activities available, I don't see the problem.

Don't sweat it, you also need your sanity! If my nearly 3 year old DD wakes up earlier than I fancy I let her watch my iPad in bed with me while I have a longer snooze. We do go out every day though and she is amazing at playing by herself too which is when I can mostly do some house stuff or work emails (love their imagination at this age!). Just leave enough varied toys and stuff so he can come and go to the TV as he pleases. Magformers are amazing if you haven't seen those, magnetic toy things, keeps my DD and my nieces and nephews amused for a while!

My dd watched tv a lot. She wasn't ever interested in toys and only really liked crafts, computers and games.

She's now a secondary school maths teacher with a masters degree in maths, 4 A levels and 18 GCSEs. Never did her any harm. Needs must.