Should I have called the police

[Menora]

I was woken up this morning at 6am by a couple having an extremely loud domestic argument. The female was shouting/screaming the most and the man was shouting ‘leave me alone’. I could not hear exactly what the woman was shouting but it did not seem he was hurting her but she was very angry

I had my window open and I sleep at the front. I live in a quiet road and my house is kind of on a bend. Despite trying to look out I could not work our which house this was coming from, so I hesitated and after 20 mins it stopped. The sound could have been travelling as it’s so windy today. I now feel awful I didn’t call the police but I didn’t know what number or even street to call them out to. Should I have called anyway? I didn’t go outside as I am ill with a virus and feel like shit

Oh it's tricky OP. I'm assuming you don't hear them arguing a lot and it didn't sound like it was violent. I think in the circumstances I wouldn't have called the police either, loads of couples argue occasionally.

For what?
They were arguing.
Not a crime
Unless one sounded frightened and the other threatening there is nothing to report here
Going back to sleep was the appropriate move

I’ve not lived here that long and I don’t know that many neighbours. I’ve seen the police parked on the street in the direction of the shouting before a few times

Most people on my street have kids so that was my main worry and also 6am is not a normal time to have such a huge row.

but it did not seem he was hurting her

It sounds like she was the aggressor.

Assuming you have no real concerns that a crime was committed and they were just arguing I don’t see why a call to the police would be necessary. Do you have concerns?

TBH she sounded more scary than he did.

Most people on my street have kids so that was my main worry

What exactly was your worry?

I have called the police in a similar situation. I could hear the argument over the tv, with doors and windows closed. I called after the woman screamed "you didn't have to hit him". Sounded like they were out in the street. The police were lovely, I'm not sure if there was much they could do, but I was worried with the direction the argument was going.

There was no crime to report.

Surely it must be terrifying for a child to be in a house to hear an argument like that

You don't know that there's a child in the house, and it's still not a crime

I am not saying anyone is committing a crime. But that a domestic dispute of that level really concerned me, that was all. I don’t know if violence from either side or DC in the house. I didn’t phone them anyway. I think if I hear it again I may though because if anything it’s horribly antisocial behaviour for the rest of the street

I don't think you should have called if no one was in danger. Police are massively under funded and in most areas don't have time to respond to calls like this where there is no crime and no danger. I don't think YABU to be a bit concerned though - it sounds like a very aggressive argument.

I would have considered calling the police, and certainly if it happened again I would do it. Having witnessed a lot of domestic violence when I was a child, I would have really appreciated it if a neighbour had called the police but they never did.

Sadly, I think many of the replies on here are saying no need to ring the police because it sounds like the aggressor was a woman. If it was the other way round I bet posters would be telling you to ring the police.

@NamiSwan not at all. I said not to call the police because there was no crime to report. An argument isn't a crime. If the man was the aggressor, there'd still be no crime.

Domestic arguments and domestic violence are two very different things.

Maybe another neighbour has phoned the police.

It's ok to call police in this instance but as you did not know where the sound was coming from it would have been difficult for them to get to the arguing parties.

Oh dear. We were woken at 3am one night to neighbours screaming at each other. Then lots of banging. Didn't ring the police as they were always doing something.
There were 3 people shouting, I have only seen 2 of them since and after that they laid a patio in the front garden at night in the dark!
Still wonder now if one of them is buried!

Surely it must be terrifying for a child to be in a house to hear an argument like that confused

But you don’t know that there’s children in the house? And still not a police matter, no crime has been identified. Why do people always bring children into things?

And I didn’t say no need to call the police because the woman was the aggressor, I was commenting on the OPs attitude that despite the fact the woman sounded like the aggressor she made the comment that it didn’t sound like HE was being violent? The OP didn’t seem to be considering the male being a potential victim.

I called the police before some years ago as an argument started out about 2am next door (different area) and we were all woken up and then the female pushed the Male (her adult son) down the stairs - at the point of the bump bump bump I did call them out

The argument woke up my dog who barked and my 15yo DD who said it sounded ‘a bit intense’

I don’t live with a partner and my DC have no experience of domestic rows or disputes like this. If not their own children it would have been scary for, most people do have DC on this street and I don’t think it’s fair for other people’s children to have to listen to something like that either!

You can't go wasting police time telling tales on the neighbours having a one off row!

@constantlyseekinghappiness

I didn’t at any point say she wasn’t hurting him, and actually that is a worry, but it didn’t sound like banging or crashing or a fight. He was saying clearly ‘leave me alone’ but in a ‘fuck off’ way. Her voice was not as easy to hear the words. But it was her pretty much relentlessly yelling at him for a solid 20 mins at the top of her voice

I agree that, based on what you have said, there was no potential crime to report. Arguing in any relationship happens. Although the man was shouting "leave me alone" there was no indication that there was any physical assault - I would see that as a common phrase in an argument.

If you had called the police, unless they had been actively arguing, then they wouldn't have been able to do anything, as they wouldn't have known which house either.

You don't know if they were partners, you don't know if it was a mum trying to get her adult son up for college, you don't know if the woman is a carer for a male relative who lives with her. There may be children in the house, there may not. Obviously if you have any suspicions that a child or vulnerable adult is at risk you should take appropriate steps. In this instance though, there doesn't appear to be anything to indicate it is anything other than two people having a bad start to the day. Obviously if you continue to hear regular arguments or altercations, that's different.

I didn’t call them. So having a go at me for that doesn’t make sense. But Happy to listen to other POV. Domestic disputes do upset me, it’s not my normal and I don’t think it’s in any way normal or acceptable to do this at 6am however pissed off you are with each other. Is this antisocial if it becomes regular? I don’t actually know if it is, as I have not lived here that long

I did call the police once for a neighbours domestic. It was the middle of the day and admittedly windows were all open so it probably sounded louder than it was. Both were Polish so I couldn't understand the context and lady was screaming and crying. I called the non emergency number for advice and they sent someone out within 3 minutes. They then called me back and said it was just an arguement but they thanked me for calling them and said I did the right thing.