Should I have called the police

[Menora]

I was woken up this morning at 6am by a couple having an extremely loud domestic argument. The female was shouting/screaming the most and the man was shouting ‘leave me alone’. I could not hear exactly what the woman was shouting but it did not seem he was hurting her but she was very angry

I had my window open and I sleep at the front. I live in a quiet road and my house is kind of on a bend. Despite trying to look out I could not work our which house this was coming from, so I hesitated and after 20 mins it stopped. The sound could have been travelling as it’s so windy today. I now feel awful I didn’t call the police but I didn’t know what number or even street to call them out to. Should I have called anyway? I didn’t go outside as I am ill with a virus and feel like shit

Do you live on my street OP?
None of my business. It disturbed me the first couple of times I must admit. It happens now and again. I keep out of it.

If it happens again I might call the police if I thought there were kids in the house - that would be scary to witness.

The advice that the police or any safeguarding agency would give is contact them if you think someone is at risk of harm. A violent argument is a sign of that.

The police and SS can assess risk and proportional response.

@Monty27

I don’t know! Police were at the top end of the street earlier this week (van and car) at about 8am, but they have also been at the other end of the street a few times too. They were knocking on doors a couple months ago asking if anyone had heard anything but only my DD was home and she didn’t know anything

YABU for hearing that going on and then thinking that it didn't seem like he was hurting her. What about her hurting him? What about the fact that it's well known that domestic violence does not have to include physical violence? She sounds like the aggressor and he was the victim.

Men account for a third of DV victims. Attitudes like this perpetuate the stereotype that men can't be victims.

I'm not sure what you would say OP 'Hello Police a couple somewhere in my road has been having a row for the past 20 mins. Please hurry!' If the police even turned up what would they do? Anti social behaviour and noise complaints are not police issues in my area they are dealt with by the local council.

I wouldn't phone unless there were screaming rows every day for weeks or there was clearly abuse happening or young children were screaming for hours whilst the row raged on. A couple having a one off row in their home is not a police matter. Maybe the husband stumble in drunk at 6am and the wife was angry because she couldn't get ahold of him all night (how many times have I read those posts on MN).

My neighbors (in a block of flats) once called the police on us. Our building was very soundproof, I don't ever recall hearing our neighbors. It started with an argument but my OH started strangling me, suffocating with pillows, holding me at knife point, took my phone off me tied me down and effectively kept me hostage. I can't imagine there was a huge amount of banging or noise as he was trying to shut me up but god I was thankful for the police bursting through out door!!

Totally depends on the situation. It may be just be a row but if you are genuinely concerned, please call the police.

To be honest its very difficult to make a decision on this type of thing. My ex and I were in an abusive relationship. If there was arguing it would be him walking away saying leave me alone, however that is because he was good at gaslighting me so I was left really angry and feeling like I was going mad, he was also not a shouter but was being very nasty with his words and cruel. He also liked putting his hands round my neck or pushing me round a bit but never enough to leave marks. When I lost it after he did it he would walk away saying 'leave me alone' and then say under his breath that if I didnt stop he would do it again........ I wouldn't call the police for a one off event however if it became regular i would pop into the local police station and express concern

For the people saying the police won’t thank you for calling them, you are wrong. If a member of the public believes someone is unsafe the police will encourage them to call. A violent argument is a sign of that.

They have records and training that means they can assess the risk and the proportionate response. MNERS don’t. Just like they can’t say whether to go to A&E or to call an ambulance.

Men account for a third of DV victims. Attitudes like this perpetuate the stereotype that men can't be victims

Is that true?

I know men as victims of DV is massively unreported but a third?

OP. Omg. I'd be more worried if there was police presence. There's nó children involved either with my neighbours.
It's just drama between them.
I hope

It's normal or acceptable to have domestic disputes so loud people down the road or a few houses down can hear ? It's really odd for me that so many people are nonchalant about it. You should not be in a relationship with someone if you cannot regulate your own emotions

@Scapegoatforlife I guess it depends if your windows are open.
OP said her window was open, so if they had doors/windows open or were in garden or whatever it's not unreasonable to think that OP would hear them shouting.

I've called the police before on arguing couples on the grounds of noise disturbance. It's not OK to scream and yell in a residential area when people are trying to sleep, and need their kids to sleep.

I don't give a shit if they're an ordinary couple just having a barney, they don't get to include me and my family in it by subjecting us to hearing it.

If one party actually needs help, then the police are the best people to assess that and take the next steps.

* 6am is not a normal time to have such a huge row.*

When is normal?
And I think early morning more likely for an argument... one woke the other up etc?

If I heard someone yelling leave me alone more than once I'd be tempted to call the police. It must be pretty bad to wake the neighbours.
I might be tempted to keep a note of this and see if it happens regularly or as a one off. Then you can decide what to do. It could be that the couple are being anti social or it could be one is hurting the other.
Image how you'd feel if you did nothing and one of them ended up seriously injured or dead. The reason people get away with violence ha been spelled out on here. That really is sad.

I was more bothered about the noise disturbance at the time at 6am rather than one of them was hurting the other although I couldn’t see it for myself so I don’t know!

My window was ajar, not fully open and I could still hear it. I know that every neighbour on my row of houses downwards towards the noise, and the opposite row has DC living in their house - but I don’t know the people further around the corner or how far the noise was travelling. There are 4 houses on one side of the road towards the noise and 3 houses on my side not including myself and we all have kids. Then it bends round a corner to 3 more large detached houses and I don’t know who lives there