Really nervous about DS' operation

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My DS is booked in for an operation on Friday, I have anxiety and I'm worrying so much about it.

My DM is coming with us for support but I am the only one allowed in the room whilst he is getting put to sleep, he is 6 and I know that as soon as he falls asleep I'm going to cry buckets through worry.

Is this a normal reaction? I've got really bad social anxiety and I know I'm going to be a wreck so I was wondering whether most parents cry in this scenario.

Completely normal! When my child had an operation I only just managed to hold it together in the anaesthetic room then blubbed on the way out of theatre. It's very very quick I was in there about 2 mins max. As soon as they put the drugs in they get you out very quickly so they can crack on. Good luck

I’m a nurse and I can honestly tell you that parents cry all the time! It’s ok to have a cry when you walk out the anaesthetic room. Once he’s asleep go and get a coffee or some fresh air. The nurses will take you back when he’s waking up and recovery are ready.

The most important thing is to not show your DS that you’re worried and that he’s fully prepared for everything that’s going to happen.

What is the operation? When my DS has tonsils and adenoids out and grommets in 2 years ago (he was 5) it was horrible but quick and he responded well after. The staff went out of their way to keep us happy.

Totally normal. I went down to theatre with my ds and I was all bright and breezy until he went off to sleep and then I sobbed and sobbed!

A nurse escorted me back up to his room to wait and I couldn't even speak to her on the way as I was crying so much.

YANBU. Pretty much every parent sheds a quick tear when their kids go under anaesthetic. I see this day in day out and I still cried when ds when under. Good luck op x

Totally normal. DD has been under 4 times It's hard and I cried once out of the room. The nurses are great and no doubt used to parents tears. Good luck op.

Work as an anaesthetic practitioner - perfectly normal to cry and we see it all the time, irrespective of the surgery. It's an alien environment and you've just relinquished (albeit temporarily and to a team if very caring and competent medical professionals) responsibility of your child. You won't be thought of any more or less for doing so. I cried when DD went under for a endoscopy/colonoscopy under GA.

My ds is 13, and has had 14 operations so far. I still cry as I leave theatre every time, and the nurses obviously expect it, as they've always got a tissue and a hug ready.
Don't worry, it's normal.

I've never had to see my DD go under. Dh has a few times and 1st time especially was a bit emotional. My DD has never had any serious ops but I've got to say she has always recovered really quickly.

One GA for a very minor procedure- she was out in the hospital play park 1 hour after she came around.

That said I think I would shed quite a few tears if I ever saw her getting GA. Good Luck. Hope it all goes well l.

My son is 21 and had a heart operation last year his dad and I cried like babies after they wheel him away ! A few weeks ago same son had his appendix out and again I was beside myself and cried . And yes that’s 21years not months !!hooe you little boy is feeling much better soon xx

Yes I cried! Stay as calm for him as you can and then cry once he goes under

How old is he and what’s the op?

Thank you everyone for your kind words, I feel a lot better knowing that it's not uncommon.

He's having a circumcision done as advised by the consultant, he has a lot of trouble going to the toilet and gets really sore so it will be a relief that he will be out of pain but my worry is through the roof at the minute.

I'm very good at holding it together in front of him so that won't be a problem.

Thank you again.

Been there - your feelings are totally normal. You are doing the right thing by having your Mum with you - it's the waiting that is hard.

Hope everything goes well.

It will all be ok on the day and any of us who’ve done it before will totally get how you are feeling

My Dm came with me too

Another one who cried here, I'd barely closed the doors of the premed room when I cried.

Also, it's important to know that there are good reasons for operations to be quicker than you'd expect and if the surgeon comes into the family room to talk to you after an hour of surgery not three hours try not to panic like I did.

Just to say also, make sure you have calpol/nurofen at home for afterwards as he might be sore so stock up before you go.

Yes I cried when my dd had a general anaesthetic...I was exhausted as we'd had to get up early to give her the last food and drink she could have before she was nil by mouth...I was also worried and emotional. She was very well looked after by all the doctors and nurses. I hope it goes well....I'd make sure you have plenty of snacks for you and him (when he's allowed to eat again) and plenty of things to keep him occupied if you're going to be waiting around. Good luck.

Very normal. You're his mum and you love him.

When my 4 month old baby had his Cleft lip operation I was a wreck. He was so tiny. I'm trying my hardest to not even think about his upcoming cleft palate operation.

Ds age 6 had tonsils and adenoids out in September. The worst part was when we went into theatre and I had to hold him on my knee with his arm around my back so that they could put the canula in, he screamed and panicked and then once it was done his eyes rolled in his head and he just went limp, I had to lie him on the bed and leave, I was being brave up to that point but that just made me cry. They did warn me about that happening, but my ds was terrified about the op anyway so his anxiety was through the roof. I do wonder why they don't put the cannula in first before going to theatre, it would make it much less traumatic for everyone! He came back from theatre at 3pm and we were discharged at 5.30pm, so that was brilliant. My friends little boy at age 5 went to have surgery on his legs and he didn't even feel them putting the cannula in, he was totally calm, so I think my ds experience was just really extreme.
Your child will be totally safe and looked after every single second op so do not worry.

Entirely normal. You'll hold it together til he goes under then fall apart whilst he's in theatre. It's such a scary thing because you have no control and no way to help/assist/fix things.

I hope the surgery goes well and you feel much calmer once he's come out of recovery.

Crikey no I'd be crying my leg off. Just try and keep it together until he goes under

Paeds Anaesthetist.

Totally normal to cry but do try to hold it together until he has had his anaesthetic.

Bright & breezy to kid, inwardly nervous works best IME.

There is some helpful stuff here if you want to talk about it with him tonight...

www.rcoa.ac.uk/patient-information/patient-information-resources/information-children-parents-carers

Lots of hospitals also have a video for children/carers. Search on YouTube by hospital name and operation.

Helpful things to have in hospital - distraction stuff in case you have to hang around beforehand. A toy to go to theatre if required - I keeo a lot of bears/monkeys/bunnies company!!

Favourite snacks/drinks for afterwards.

Some Calpol / neurofen at home in preparations you know he will take in case the hospital discharge stuff is the "wrong" flavour.

Just to add to the chorus of "this is totally normal". Be prepared - they whip you out of the room about 1 second after the child falls asleep so that they can go into proper monitoring mode. It's for your child's safety, but it's quite overwhelming so be prepared.

However, crying is normal. And more importantly, I think the nurses and doctors who work with children are so used to this that they're very kind. They came to get us as DS was coming out of surgery but he woke up weirdly fast and was completely hysterical. As we came into the corridor we could hear him screaming. We ran the rest of the way and while he was still upset when we got there, I nearly cried right there because the very very kind nurses were not only trying to help him, they'd managed to figure out that the canula was freaking him out (he didn't say anything - was too hysterical) and had removed it so he was starting to calm down already. They were endlessly kind and understanding.

Good luck.