Pregnancy Sick Leave - CF Alert

[WindInTheWishing]

Basically just that.

I love my job and had a great performance record but due to pregnancy complications had to be signed off sick. It’s been 6 months and Mat leave starts soon so doubt I’ll make it back. Meaning I’ll have been off work for 18 months by the time I return!

My lovely manager has been very supportive but the person I work directly with took it badly, got himself signed off too and went traveling 👍🏻 generally had a chip on his shoulder about it (I’ve heard from other colleagues). It’s a shame as we used to get on really well and now he’ll either not come back or it’ll be very awkward between us when I return after Mat leave.

I can see it from his point of view, I chose to get pregnant...etc but surely it’s no different than someone getting injured skiing or doing an extreme sport- that’s a choice too.

Also, whilst I certainly won’t be in a rush, I do want more than one child. So yes at some point I will (hopefully) become pregnant again and the chances are I’ll have the same complications and need to be signed off extensively again.

I feel like a real CF’er who has/will screw over her career and colleagues 😒 am I?

YABU- Yes you’re a CF
YANBU- No you’re not

YANBU-if your colleague wants to strop about it and go off travelling, that’s his problem and his choice. There’s nothing remotely cheeky about being off while you’re sick, you have to think of both you and the baby. If the problem is that your colleague feels overwhelmed by having to do more work and got signed off on stress, your organisation should put measures in place such as a temp. If he feels he’s entitled to time off simply because you got it, then he’s a CF, not you. If he’s genuinely stressed, fine. None of the above scenarios are your problem though, just get better and enjoy your maternity leave, don’t spoil it by worrying about your colleague

Yes and no, you can’t help the complications but as you say, being off for so long and then planning it all over again is cheeky. However, sick pay is normally discretionary and so your employer doesn’t have to pay it. Difficult one

Tough one - I'd probably have a grumble as your employer/colleague that your long term absence might impact on my working conditions but there isn't much anyone can do about it - has your employer hired a temporary replacement to cover your workload? At the end of the day they might not like it but legally you're protected

Your situation is none of your colleague's business. If you hadn't announced your pregnancy in the work place, he would not have known the cause of your sickness.
I wish I had taken some time off when I was first pregnancy; I was a sick as a dog and driving in one day on the 16 mile commute, I found myself driving on the wrong side of the road. I got the bus after that, but I wish I'd given myself a couple of weeks, a month, to get to grips with it.
I wouldn't give too much thought to what your colleague thinks and what he chooses to do, is down to him.
Good luck with the rest of your pregnancy.

Arse to him

Have this one and see how you feel!

Your sickness is your business. His is his.

How do his managers feel about him travelling while off sick? How do you know that’s what he’s doing?

How did he get signed off and go travelling? If he was well enough to go travelling surely he was well enough to go to work? As someone with MH problems I know not all sickness is physical but I'm struggling to think of any illness where you could travel but not work. I guess it partly depends on your definition of travelling-was it a short haul holiday or a round the world trip?

My work place has seen me have 3 children and 1 horrendous miscarriage, I've had a lot of preganacy related sickness but no one bat an eyelid about it, my work place the work shy sickers who get signed off every year for either Christmas or summer holidays they are the ones no one can stand and don't give the time of day or put money in for get well soon flowers and that, they all moan that when I was off I didn't get anything and we have to politely say but these people are proper sick not just lazy!

I feel guilty having been off so long this time but equally I had no idea I would have these complications so It wasn’t calculated. With a second pregnancy I’d know It was likely (though not guaranteed of course).

There’s a chap in our wider team who is an avid skier (extreme adventurer type) he broke his leg so badly it took multiple operations and several months to heal- he hasn’t given it up! I know it’s not the same but it’s at least similar.

Work made every effort to get cover but nobody stayed more than a couple of weeks.
They’re now looking for my mat cover- without luck!

It’s a bummer for you and for work, can’t be helped though. I have a colleague who I think will be sick for 6 months and then on maternity leave for a year. It’s not very convenient but she’s the one who is suffering. She’s been in our company for ten years I think and I hope she might stay a lot longer, so it’s not much proportionately. As far as I know, no one resents here absence.

I don’t know the details of his being signed off other than its stress and was a month or so after me. He apparently didn’t hide that he felt it unfair I was off and hasn’t spoken to me since. Others have messaged to ask if I’m ok and send their thoughts...etc.

It’s super exotic long haul traveling with his partner and I know as he’s plastered it all over SM!

Assuming you have HG which I had. It also meant extensive time off when pregnant. It sucks but since women are the ones who have to be pregnant it is what it is.

I would make sure you are on top of things when you are in work but beyond that don't worry too much.

FFS. Perhaps your colleague was suffering from stress? Who are you to decide why he’s off? You’re hearing all this office gossip third hand and why should he contact you to ask of you’re ok? 🙄.

I cant believe 25pc of people think YABU.

You've done absolutely nothing wrong. Workplaces should have contingency plans for employees to be off sick, for any reason. They should also have contingency plans for employees to take maternity / shared paternity / stretches of parental leave. Both men and women. If your colleague has an issue with you then that's completely his problem. It may be though that he just had an issue with doing all your work as well (which is legitimate and the company should have not got expected him to pick up everything) and is pissed off that you're not there and he is doing all your work rather than being pissed off with you and the message has got muddled on it's way back to you

What complications did you have if you don't mind me asking

FFS. Perhaps your colleague was suffering from stress? Who are you to decide why he’s off? You’re hearing all this office gossip third hand and why should he contact you to ask if your ok?

^I agree with this. None of your business why he is off.

@IWishItWasSummer
@Tellmetruth4

Honestly, he probably was stressed, it probably did tip him over the edge and he was perfectly entitled to go off on leave.
Regardless, being derogatory/insinuating that a colleague is in the wrong for getting pregnant is a bit shitty.

Had he not, he would have just been signed off without the atmosphere that’s now been created. I feel like it was maybe a bit unprofessional and uncalled for. It’s certainly made me feel worse/guilty.

I had HG - signed off for most of the time too.

I have voted YABU as you are dissing your colleague for being offsick, which is just the same as him dissing you for being offsick. Obviously YANBU for being offsick if you are sick. Neither is he.

@mummyway

HG 😒

I had months off sick whilst pregnant too, staff being sick is a cost of doing business and it pisses me off when people suggest it’s wrong to take sick leave because it “drops colleagues in it” - tough, I work to live not the other way around.

@nocoolnamesleft

I’m not ‘dissing’ him for being off sick.
I’m dissing him for dissing me for being off sick. My absence may well have been what tipped his stress levels over manageable but to say that/ blame me to mutual colleagues is pretty low.

Your colleague is travelling to long haul exotic locations with his partner, all whilst signed off sick? You sure he hasn't taken a sabbatical? It's probably absolutely nothing to do with you and your problematic pregnancy.

If you do decide to have another child, make sure you check out your sickness entitlement, in case you need further extensive sick leave. Some companies don't pay unlimited sick leave.

My poor colleague dragged herself in with HG during much of her first pregnancy and spent most of it in the disabled loo vomiting, it was horrendous for her. I don’t know how she managed it. She quite rightly got signed off during her second pregnancy. You are entitled to sick leave for however many pregnancies without HG you have.

I am unclear how someone gets signed off and goes travelling - presumably this is not paid sick leave. If an unpaid career break that’s up to him. Either way it’s berg odd behaviour from him. I’d be steering clear if you do work with him again.