I’ll try not to make this too long but I’m not sure that I’m doing the right thing although actually even though this isn’t usually the route I’d take it feels like the right thing.
We had pets (which I have as they were more mine than ex’s) and one of them had a vet bill from an emergency vet cost shortly before we broke up which was in ex’s name.
I said I’d pay when I had the money to do so and then we broke up and to be honest I’d forgotten about it until ex text me around 2 months ago about it. I paid a quarter of it to the company and was planning to do installments but have now decided against paying anymore.
My reason being that in the 4 years together I paid for almost everything including ex’s DC’s birthdays, Christmases, clothes and uniforms ect which is fine as I wanted to but I also paid all the rent, all the food and bills and despite continuously asking ex to contribute even just £30-£50 a week it rarely materialised and I wasn’t happy with that which I’d made clear at the time.
We were also engaged to be married and I lost allot of money on that. £1,400 to be exact. It wasn’t right that we got married as it wasn’t a healthy or loving relationship and although it was me who felt stronger about that ex also agreed it was a good idea not to marry at the time. Was supposed to cancel the venue ect and had apparently tried only to leave me with the full costs after lying in regard to contacting them ect.
We also booked a holiday shortly before breaking up which ex said I should put in my name (of course) which obviously I cancelled after the break up and then was left with another £400 debt for this in my name. I decided not to contact ex about it to save the hassle and just take it on as I’d rather have my peace and happiness than £200 fro ex for holiday debt.
The vet bill was £240. I paid £60 2 months ago and then haven’t paid again since. I got a message yesterday asking about it and asking about mine and my DC’s Christmas. Another message a couple of hours later asking me if I got the message and could I reply. My brother called today to say ex had text him to and asked if I’d changed my number and ask me to text.
When it came to arranging about seeing DC ect after the breakup and actually even before I would wait days, sometimes a week or so for a response but Ex expects an immediate response.
Ex was emotionally abusive which I’d not really realised so much at the time although I knew things weren’t right but I’ve since had counselling and I feel so much better being separated with no contact.
My question of am I being unreasonable though is basically should I be paying the vet bill debt?
Please can you vote...
YABU to say that I should respond and pay the debt
Or...
YANBU to say that I should just leave the other £180 unpaid by myself and not respond to the messages.