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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Are we totally mad - buying a house and having a baby

77 replies

HairsprayBabe · 08/01/2020 10:18

Will try to keep this short the more I think about it the more I feel overwhelmed...

We are currently renting - rental period ends August 4th, letting agents will only let us sign a year's lease after our current one ends.

Baby number 1 is due July 24th

We have the deposit to buy a house - we need to move into a house ideally as close to the end of our lettings period as possible.

Can we swing this or are we mad to even consider it - buying would cut our bills significantly and I would feel more secure owning a house with a baby than stuck in rentals...

AIBU to think we can find and buy a house and move in whilst heavily pregnant/with a newborn.

For info - both our families are local, hands on and helpful, baby will be first grandchild on both sides.

OP posts:

mamaskelz · 08/01/2020 11:30

@HairSprayBabe we were in the exact same situation with my DS. We were renting but the rental was coming to an end and we already had the deposit for a house. We moved in to our own house in June and I had my DS in the August 🙈

I'm not going to lie and say it wasn't stressful (because it was) BUT we didn't want to continue to pay someone else's mortgage when we could get one of our own. We also didn't want to move with a toddler or a new born which would have been horrific.

We also wanted our DS to have his own room in our own house rather in a rented house that we couldn't ever make our own. We couldn't do our new house up right away but it was ours.

We made sure we had lots of help when we moved because I couldn't lift anything but apart from that it really was ok. The most stressful part was chasing up solicitors and all the mortgage paperwork, the move was alright.

Good luck!

5zeds · 08/01/2020 11:34

We moved with a 2wk old and a toddler, no local family and had to stay in a hotel for two nights because of a glitch.....‘‘twas fine. Expect to be very tired and just enjoy it. New house! New Baby! What a fabulous year it’s going to be.

Normandy144 · 08/01/2020 11:42

Totally doable. We were in a similar situation. Our 2nd child was due in February and we had a 6 month break clause on our rental which we could trigger in the Feb giving us 2 months to move out of the rental by end of April. We exchanged early Feb and made clear we would not complete until the end of Feb. Baby was born mid month. It meant that we only had one month of mortgage and rental as the first mortgage payment didn't come out until early April. We also had the luxury of not having to move quickly, my husband was able to paint the bedrooms etc and we moved our stuff over slowly with one 'big' move when we were finally ready. Baby was 8 weeks by the time we moved. We had lots of help from friends and family. My advice is to crack on with it!

JosefKeller · 08/01/2020 11:48

Buying a house IS stressful, if you are in England the rules are such it's a flipping nightmare. Be aware of that. Having a baby in the lot doesn't really make it worst.

Roomba · 08/01/2020 11:49

I bought my first house whilst pregnant with my first baby. Moved from a rented top floor flat with a lot of steep steps and no central heating, so there were many benefits other than it being 'ours' not the landlords.

At the time, it was all so stressful that I questioned my own sanity. My family pushed me into it really, saying I'd never cope in the flat and it was unsuitable for a baby as too cold. I'm convinced my BP went up so high due to all the hassle, I developed pre eclampsia and had to have a c section two days after moving in. But years later, I don't regret it at all. Moving after the baby arrived would have been far more difficult. I also wouldn't have been able to afford it - I bought at what was the last possible point in time I could buy before house prices went way beyond my means. Even a year later I wouldn't have been able to get anywhere. Just make sure that you get anyone else to help that you can. My ex left me to deal with all the paperwork, packing, buying things and it was too much.

Divebar · 08/01/2020 11:56

If you move when you’re pregnant you won’t have to lift any boxes. Win / win.

OhWellThatsJustGreat · 08/01/2020 11:58

Do it, easier to do it while pregnant than once baby is here.
If both sets of GP are going to be very hands on like you say, then talk to them about supporting you and helping out of baby arrives before you're in the house.

Congratulations, don't stress and have fun!

nowaypose · 08/01/2020 11:58

We did this. The house sale was completed 1st of September and our DS was born 29th October. It was a doer-upper too so lots of DIY before DS was born. Stressful but glad we bought a house, it’s much cheaper than renting.

Butterfly02 · 08/01/2020 12:00

I did it as a single parent (H left me at 18weeks pregnant) sold one house and moved into the other two weeks before due date had ds 13 days later.
Things I did were made solicitors and estate agent aware of due date and said I was not prepared to move between week 38 of pregnancy till two weeks after birth (effectively that could have been a six week window) it was agreed as I was upfront and put it in writing (it got everyone in the chain moving!)
My parents were great and were able to help me pack /unpack. I moved in got settled but did nothing to the house till ds was about 6 months old (I don't feel this was a bad thing as it meant I lived in house and saw what needed changing and how we used the house).
I think it's probably easier to move while pregnant / with a new born than a toddler.

PonderLand · 08/01/2020 12:23

We also did this. We asked if we could leave the tenancy early so we didn't have to pay a cancellation fee (left in April tenancy up in July) they let us leave as long as they could get someone in before we left so we made sure we always allowed viewings no matter what, a few times we showed people round the rental if the estate agent couldn't. My son was born in June so we cut it quite fine as the house was in a really bad state. It's been 4 years nearly and we're decorating the last bit which is the stairs and hallway! We save £300 a month in rent so it was worth it.

Rachierach11 · 08/01/2020 12:38

We moved 6 days after my DS was born. Packed up everything we could way before due date and then DH and my DM finished off the packing whilst I sat on the sofa post c-section. Moving day I went to a friend's house down the road until the removal men had finished and then they unpacked the sofa first in the new house and I sat and watched it all get moved in around us. It was tough but maternity leave was a great time to spend a bit of time unpacking boxes when the baby napped and I was home for workmen etc which is inevitable in a new house.

Only thing I would say is that timings often don't work out when buying houses. We were meant to move months before but that house fell through. The house we're in now was a very quick sale and everyone did everything they could to get us in before the baby came but unavoidable delays happened

Stronger2020 · 08/01/2020 12:42

Won’t being pregnant affect the amount of mortgage you can get?

Frariedeamin · 08/01/2020 12:43

From June - Sep the same year, me and DP got married and bought a house, DS was born and I interviewed for and was offered a promotion! It’s very doable!

Blackbear19 · 08/01/2020 12:49

OP go for it. Plenty people move with tiny babies.
Don't buy stuff you don't need right away, ie if you intend to use a moses basket, crib then don't buy the cot until you need it no point moving it from one house to the other.

PPopsicle · 08/01/2020 12:50

Do it now. You might struggle to get a mortgage if you try and do it once baby is born and you aren’t earning as much

Bigmango · 08/01/2020 12:52

Absolutely - you won’t have to lift a finger. Perfect timing I say!

Lazypuppy · 08/01/2020 12:55

Its fine!just be aware being pregnant will affect how much a mortgage company will lend you, so get your mortgage in principle done before vieiwng houses

Talcott2007 · 08/01/2020 13:07

Go for it! We ended up a really similar timeline with our house purchase and birth of DD - It was a new build brought off plan and coincidentally we conceived DD the day after visiting the sales office (she was completely unplanned we wanted to buy the house and get settled in first before TTC!) Anyway we were expecting the build to be finished about two month after my EDD but they brought it forward and so in the end we picked up the keys on the Friday and I was induced (slightly early) on the Sunday!

villamariavintrapp · 08/01/2020 13:07

I think most people do this-it's when they need a bigger house. Almost everyone in my nct group was moving/looking for a new house/ had just moved.

neverornow · 08/01/2020 13:10

Totally doable. Good luck with it all

DesignedForLife · 08/01/2020 13:16

We did it. Been pretty broke ever since as I then got made redundant, but we were careful to make sure that one of our salaries could cover our Mortgage and most basic expenses.

Zippetydoodahzippetyay · 08/01/2020 13:53

It may not be easy but definitely doable. Timings outside our control meant that we had to move out of our rental 6 weeks before our first baby was born. We had decent notice, so we just packed slowly, a couple of boxes a day. DH did all the heavy stuff.

We had purchased a house and settlement was for 3 days before my due date. So we moved into a short term rental for 6 weeks, then my baby was born at 4am on moving day!!! My husband, Mum and in-laws set up our bed, bassinet and unpacked kitchen boxes. I went to hospital from one house and a couple of days later went home to a different house. It took us 3 months to fully unpack, house was a mess for a long time, but you know what, it really didn't matter. I just enjoyed the baby bubble, rested as much as possible and took my time deciding where to put things.

From a physical perspective, you have to be very careful not to overdo it, and it can feel a bit disappointing to not have the perfect nursery set up upon coming home from hospital for example, but you really can make it work if necessary or important to you.

Xyzzzzz · 08/01/2020 13:57

You’ll be fine. A mortgage (assuming you need one) can take time to complete anyway as other factors are involved. You’ll also need to declare your pregnancy as that will be factored into affordability

Original poster

HairsprayBabe · 08/01/2020 13:58

Oh I wrote a big response but MN are it.

I have a really great maternity package - almost a full year paid, and I am planning on going back to work on compressed hours 4 days a week so that shouldn't hurt us financially - although childcare obviously will.

For MAPs I have been putting it off as I didn't think they lasted more than a month and it was a waste to do it so early?

OP posts:

namechangetheworld · 08/01/2020 14:00

We did this just before DD1 was born. We were selling our old house too. Exchanged a week after she was born. Much easier than doing it when they're bigger, I think.

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