AIBU not to be guarantor for DC?

[usermane]

DC is in first year at Uni, and currently trying to secure accommodation for next year.
He's found a studio flat and is planning to share it with his DP (also a student).
The rent is ~£14k a year(!) They can probably just about manage that between them, but neither one could afford that alone.
He's asked me to be a guarantor, but I am VERY uncomfortable with this. I can barely afford my own rent as it is... and I really don't want to risk getting into that kind of debt should things go wrong (i.e. they split up, one or both drop out, they piss all their rent money away etc.).
I feel horrible about it, but would I be unreasonable to tell him no?

If op is hard up, In London DS could get a full loan of £11,600. He could supplement this by working. The flat rent might be for 42 weeks, not 52. He could work in the holidays. The loan is high to take account of high rents.

The rent will not be considerably cheaper!!! That’s not correct in London. Not remotely correct! You may be jointly and severally liable in a house share for DC you don’t know and lots of them. Two might drop out. Then what? The landlords don’t always agree to you guaranteeing just your own DC. It can be more reliable to live with who you know rather than who you don’t know.

Personally I do think a studio isn’t a great idea but two rooms in a shared house will be nearly as much if it’s a handy location. I would wonder why they didn’t have any friends to share with and I would be in touch with her parents regarding arrangements.

Awful as it sounds, I had the option of london, cambridge, oxford but unfortunately had to chose to against going to such universities simply because the cost of living was beyond any means available to me. (And my mum earns a comfortable income). Even living at a time where everything is supposedly "accessible" regardless of situation, sometimes we just gotta accept that it is simply not always the case. I'm sure one way or another men and my mam could've made it work living somewhere with a inflated cost of living, but the risk to my mother, including the difficulties to me (working long hours thus reducing study time) Ultimately didnt seem worth it, although I know there are many who do make it work.
Also I wonder if some of the youth now also get it into their head they must regardless of means live to the same standard as their peer who may potentially have a much higher disposable family income and therefore no longer look at their realistic circumstances.
The only positive now is that in many circumstances you no longer are required to attend the oxbridge/london to have the same employment opportunities and often other universities now offer well respected courses in the same subjects.

If OP truly cant afford to guarantor without risking her own home then I think its unreasonable to ask her to do so. As her son will be living with his GF they always have the option of asking her parents, and if not reconsidering their situation and looking at what's feasible. It's not fair or correct to expect the OP to risk everything.

Conversely i think Oxbridge are actually good options for students from families with a low income. They have a lot of money and a lot of bursaries. High achievers are often given college accommodation for the entirety of their studies.

14K is criminal. Must be London

£135 per head per week - not unusual for London or the surrounding areas. Ask for guarantors for students is also pretty standard along with request of evidence of guarantor income.

OP: as these is university rental what do they have in place for students who have no parents? Demand of guarantor is standard in private rental (or was when mine went through) but University accommodation did not set that as a requirement.

Op - not sure if this has been said but there are firms that will guarantee student rentals . Helping Hands is one

Sorry - “HOUSING HAND”

I've had to act as guarantor for each of my 3 when they were at uni, each of the parents did so the liability was split.I don't think there's any choice if he needs accommodation unless he can use halls. It's unfair and worrying but seemed to be the norm.

You are definitely not being unreasonable. Someone I know agreed to be a guarantor for her daughter and her daughters partner for a house. They fell behind on their rent. Like £15000 worth of rent. Not sure how it escalated that much but it did. She is paying it off in instalments I believe. Her daughter or the now ex partner isn’t paying her back either.

I was asked to me brothers guarantor when he went to uni. I said no. It was too risky imo.

If it was a flat with two bedrooms the risk wouldn't be so great as he could let the other room. There is no way he can reduce the 14k if his partner moved out of a studio flat. The 14k would all be down to him you Absolutely stupid to agree to that. The chances of them splitting up is high.

If OP truly cant afford to guarantor without risking her own home then I think its unreasonable to ask her to do so. As her son will be living with his GF they always have the option of asking her parents, and if not reconsidering their situation and looking at what's feasible. It's not fair or correct to expect the OP to risk everything.

Her child isn't asking her to risk her own home. He is asking her to trust him to pay his rent and not leave her in a situation where she would be homeless. I would trust my children to do that and I'm sure most people would. She certainly should avoid guaranteeing his girlfriends rent as well but expecting another parent to guarantee their child's rent is extremely unreasonable. If she doesn't trust him why should they?

OP: as these is university rental what do they have in place for students who have no parents? Demand of guarantor is standard in private rental (or was when mine went through) but University accommodation did not set that as a requirement.

I think that universities will help students who have been brought up in care or students who are officially the estranged from parents. I don't think there is usually support the students whose parents just don't want to be guarantors though. Let's face it, nobody wants to be a guarantor that parents don't usually have any choice if they don't want their children to have to leave university.

Op - not sure if this has been said but there are firms that will guarantee student rentals . Helping Hands is one

My understanding is that they will still want someone to cosign and they will take that person to court for the money if student doesn't pay so I don't see how that would help.

The links @TigerOnATrain posted are mostly horrific! - either shared rooms or rooms without windows (just a piece of MDF making 2 bedrooms into one I guess) or rooms to women only so no, we’ve established that at that price point you’re not really able to live in London.

I feel a bit bad for the OP’s son. Of course she can’t guarantee something she can’t afford but he’s not being cheeky asking. The rent is a very normal (even cheap) London rent for a studio or 1 bed and almost all landlords or agents require a guarantor.
I was paying that on a studio in zone 2 about 10 years a go ... it’s rubbish but it’s what it is.

I feel a bit bad for the OP’s son. Of course she can’t guarantee something she can’t afford but he’s not being cheeky asking.

I don't agree considering that if she doesn't guarantee he not be able to get accommodation. I think most people would trust their own children not to make them homeless and while obviously she should only guarantee his rent and not his girlfriends I think refusing to guarantee his rent whatever's accommodation is very unreasonable. She hasn't given any reason for not trusting him so I can't imagine why she would want to put him in the position of having to leave university.

I don't agree considering that if she doesn't guarantee he not be able to get accommodation. I think most people would trust their own children not to make them homeless
i guess the issue is that it’s not just trusting the child but trusting the girlfriend too. And in most student let HMOs I think you can guarantee just one person’s portion, which I absolutely think the OP should be doing and is something most parents should do if they can... I doubt this is something you can do in a studio with a couple sharing.
If it is a possibility the OP should definitely investigate and do it.

i guess the issue is that it’s not just trusting the child but trusting the girlfriend too.

I agree. She shouldn't be his guarantor if it means that she will also be liable for the girlfriends rent too but if he can find something where she only needs to guarantee his I think it would be unreasonable to refuse.

Why call people 'ignorant' because they can't afford to cover defaults on the rents? It's ignorant of you to assume that Landlords will automatically offer individual tenancy agreements. Most insist upon joint & several as it is far easier for them to get money back if someone defaults. I work in housing court and have seen a vast number of Guarantors hauled in front of Judges because they can't afford to cover rents in student housing when things have gone wrong. It does happen more often than you would think so your post is extremely unjust.