AIBU not to be guarantor for DC?

[usermane]

DC is in first year at Uni, and currently trying to secure accommodation for next year.
He's found a studio flat and is planning to share it with his DP (also a student).
The rent is ~£14k a year(!) They can probably just about manage that between them, but neither one could afford that alone.
He's asked me to be a guarantor, but I am VERY uncomfortable with this. I can barely afford my own rent as it is... and I really don't want to risk getting into that kind of debt should things go wrong (i.e. they split up, one or both drop out, they piss all their rent money away etc.).
I feel horrible about it, but would I be unreasonable to tell him no?

Darned if I know! My Brother in Law was also turned down and he owned a successful business...still does in fact!

Only be a guarantor if you can afford for the person you are guaranteeing to default on their payments. It doesn't matter if they are a loved one. If you can't afford to take on their debt then don't do it.

I wouldn't, especially not in your circumstances.

Suggest they share a room in another house, or find separate rooms in different houses. No compromise on two rooms in one house, I shared a house with a couple and it was a bloody nightmare when they split - both the atmosphere and having to find another person half way through the year to take one of their rooms and cover the rent. They may well not split, but the odds are not in their favour.

I think wanting to move in with a partner and expect you to be guarantor is a cheek to be honest.

Most students opt for a shared house e.g. 4 sharing as this is where the cheapest rents are. They could save buckets doing that as a couple, test their relationship and be able to afford to move in together at a later date.

Don't they have those Unite blocks of student accommodation (or similar) in their area? I don't think you need a guarantor for those.

Sorry, just checked and they do need a guarantor.

The contract would be "joint and several" liability, so you'd potentially be on the hook for the entire amount if your son's partner doesn't pay up his share, or they split up and one moves out. It would make a lot more sense if they both moved into a shared flat but had a room each so that they could have some space from each other as required. A studio is insanely cramped for 2 people.

As others have pointed out, they need to reset their expectations because £14k p/a for a studio is ridiculous unless you are living in Zone 1 of London. And if they are studying in central London, why on earth would they not move to Zone 3/4 and use public transport? I rent out an entire house in Zone 4/5 for about that much.

You can't afford it so your answer is no.

His partners parents will have to be asked do it.

And if they say no m, they'll have to find some where else that is suitable for their means, like any other adult would do in their situation.

You are right to be worried. If it was just your son and he could afford it by himself then perhaps with certain conditions in place, but this is way too big a gamble.

I'd also question whether a studio flat is suitable for their needs as there often isn't much space except the bed and kitchen area. Is there room for 2 desks for when they both need to study?

Could they each get a room in the same shared house or halls and then if they remain as a couple they can use one room for sleeping and the other for studying/daytime use and if they split up, they both have their own room?

Might not solve the guarantor issue, but I'd certainly stay out of that one. Like others have said, it's likely that the guarantor will have to pay the whole £14k rent if it isn't paid, and it doesn't sound like you're in a position to pay and even if you were, few people can pay out an unexpected £14k on top of their own costs without a massive struggle and lifestyle change.

I am a guarantor for my older son. He's got himself in a mess and I've had to pay his rent. I'm taking it out of his nest egg saved for him since he was born - £ that was meant to be towards a house deposit, or travel or something like that.

I can afford to bail him out, but he needs to learn the value of money (MY money).

It has changed our current relationship.
Be careful OP.

My friend is a guarantor for her daughter and partner. They've stopped paying the rent and she's being hounded for it.
It's a mess and she's fed up but her dd has form for such behaviour so I don't know what possessed her.
Never be a guarantor unless you are prepared to pay up.

You won’t be able to be a guarantor if you’re not a homeowner . You’re as big a risk as they are for the landlord. I’d just say no . Can he not apply for halls at the university? Tbh I wouldn’t be encouraging two older ( I presume) teenagers to be heading off to university already living as a couple .

Thanks for the replies.
It's a slightly snazzy block of student flats in London, hence the insanely high price.
The lettings company said I don't need to be a homeowner. I just need to be a UK resident and either have a full-time job or enough savings to cover any defaults.
Even so, I think I'm going to have to tell them no. I still feel bad, but it's nice to know I'm not being completely unreasonable!

I had a quick look at guarantor companies. They're not cheap... looks like it would cost about a grand for the year. I suppose I could offer to contribute towards the cost of that?

Can he not rent a room with his partner?

14K is criminal. Must be London

Can’t he live in uni housing? I wouldn’t do it though OP and doubt you’d be accepted as one anyway.

Are they school age ? If so she’s his girlfriend not his partner . Why do kids want to play at being grown ups before they have to . Tell him no and let him share a crappy student let like most of the student population. It’s character building .
He can visit his girlfriend and vice versa and go on dates like a normal teenage relationship . If the relationship goes tits up ( statistically likely to happen ) they’ll be glad to be living apart .
Just because he wants something doesn’t mean he gets it .

So it’s a fancy studio and he’s a student ? He needs realistic expectations . I’d laugh if my child asked me this tbh . A friend’s son is at Kings College and lives quite centrally . He’s in a house share like a normal student .

@Purpletigers well they're students so probably young adults who may well have been together a couple of years.

Could also be DS's boyfriend. Not that it's relevant.

I moved in with DP when I was 20. Had a baby at 23. Many people haven't left uni by that point. I'm not 'playing at being grown ups'.

What are the other accommodation options and what income do they have?

I'm not sure I'd be rushing to even contribute towards the guarantor premium unless they were also making efforts financially, ie they'd applied for all the grants, bursaries and anything else they were entitled to, are working a few hours a week at least and they were making economies in other areas, ie not expecting a life of riley with lots of eating out, takeaways, nights out, shopping etc, or else you're putting yourself in a position where you're struggling, but they don't have a care in the world.

I know London is expensive but it sounds like it's time for them to learn that we all have to cut our cloth and sometimes we can't afford to live in 'slightly snazzy blocks of flats' in expensive cities.

How much is a room in the area?

Bearing in mind that if they are house sharing with others they will probably need their own rooms. Otherwise it causes difficulties in how rent should be divided up.

Realistically he won't even get a room in a house share without a garuntor. You are probably going to have to be his garuntee regardless. It really depends if that price is excessive for the area or about normal for a room. My brothers student room in £500pm, so not necessarily that much cheaper and that's not London.

Also it's all very well for posters to laugh, but he's not asking OP to pay, only garuntor.

He might have a well paid part time job etc. This maybe what he can afford.

I’d definitely say no! And even if you could afford it- what if they split up, he’s not going to share a studio flat with someone else!

I was a guarantor for DS for his second and third year at uni but then we were paying the rent directly by standing order so knew it would be paid. We and another parent insisted though that we were only guarantor for our childs rent and not the whole property which eventually the landlord agreed to.

Could they not rent uni accommodation? When mine were at uni a few years ago this didn’t need a guarantor