Talking along with people

[Concestor]

My mum and MIL and SIL all do this. They live in different places so it's not regional but is it A Thing?

Basically I will be talking to one of them and they will try to guess what I'm going to say and say it along with me. So they say the same words as me just a nanosecond behind, finishing off half my sentences with me.

I hate it! It makes me feel really stressed. And it's so weird.

Do other people do this? If you do can you tell me why?

And how can I stop it without being rude? Last time I asked my mum to stop it she was really hurt and said she didn't know she was doing it.

That's soooo frustrating!!! Makes you not want to talk to them, doesn't it?! MiL is the same. Drives me insane! Feel for you, OP! X

I do this In my head I'm thinking it's showing that I'm paying attention and really understand what someone is talking about. At the same time I know it's sooooo annoying. I have asked DH to stop me when I do it to try and break the habit.
No advice I guess but perhaps know it's meant with good intentions.

I work with someone who does thiS. I want to murder her

My partner does this, but he doesn't know what I'm going to say next and he gets it wrong.

I have a friend who does this. It really annoys me but she's lovely so I let it go. It must be awful knowing three people who do it.

Both my Nana and my Optician (random I know) do this. Drives me mad. With my Optician I just give short answers and try and ignore, but I see my Nana every week so can't really ignore.

A colleague does this. But she does it to piggy back on things that other people say so she can claim ideas as hers, or that she knows what she is talking about.

Soooo irritating!

I never realised I did this myself until a couple of years ago, I got a new colleague who finished every sentence Of mine and it was THE most annoying thing. We worked closely as a team of 2 and had to communicate all day long so I couldn't avoid her.

I felt really embarrassed that I did it to others and am now really conscious of what I do when I'm listening to someone speak.

Do they generally get it right?

Is it like;

Do you want a cup of tea? And they also say the "cup of tea " bit?

It could be worse OP. At least they're listening to you.

My exh will completely cut across someone who's speaking and start a whole new subject or just walk away while they're in the middle of a sentence.

Now that really is annoying, and extremely rude.

Isn't there a comedy character that does this? I'm getting Gavin and Stacey vibes.
Had a colleague that did this.

I have noticed this sometimes. However, quite often I trail off in the middle of a sentence, as if I can't be bothered to finish it, so I have been assuming it's my fault.

One of our neighbours does this. I find it really distracting, like having an echo. But she's lovely so I sort of don't mind.

My dc do it to me, but that's usually because I've forgotten what I was saying half way through the sentence 😂

OMG I had to lose a friendship because of this. It irritated the hell out of me and she didn't realise she was doing it. I was younger then and it was easier to let the friendship go - our DDs were going to different schools and she was moving house so it was a natural slide fortunately.

Now I think I would have fun with it and say something completely random to confuse them and give them an askance look when the say the last part wrong 😂🤣

I do this I'm afraid. I can't speak for everyone but for me it comes from a place of desperately wanting to get it right and show I can connect with and understand the other person. I'm pretty sure in my case it comes from rejection as a child in the playground (I was bullied awfully and had no friends) so now it manifests itself as an unstoppable urge to show the other person that I understand them and I agree with them and I want them to like me! I'm really trying to stop it because I know how annoying it is. 😬

So if you do it, how did it start? Was it a conscious decision?

I find it so distracting I forget what I was going to say. I end up not bothering to speak at all.

Also... how can I get them to stop?

Oh my god I do this all the time . For me it's because my mind wanders and it sort of forces me to pay attention to what the other person is saying and (in my mind) reassures them that I'm listening.

I'll try and stop though now I've realised that it's a thing!

This is one of those weird social habits people have. Another one is talking with their eyes closed.

Try not to get stressed, everyone who they do it to will think it’s weird.

I have a friend who does this. But I am very fond of her and just accept it as part of her character.
No doubt I do things that she finds annoying.
I do not think it warrants getting upset about (or starting an AIBU).

I've noticed that I do this sometimes.
Not to everyone though...

I've noticed it's with "slow talkers" :/ maybe I'm subconsciously speeding them up. (But I'd never do it on "purpose", it just happens!)

Oh god, DM and DH both do this, it’s so annoying! With DH, I’ll sometimes change what I was going to say, which I realise is petty

I have a friend who talks with her eyes closed, it’s usually when she’s on a rant. I find that amusing rather than irritating though.

Anyone else remembering the Two Ronnies sketch?

My mum and her twin sister do this - i Googled it once and it can be a type of Tourette’s eg they can’t help it. I think it’s to do with processing the information they’re being give. She knows she does it so we laugh about it.

Oh dear, I do this I am terrible at remembering details of my friends eg what they did last weekend, their MIL’s name, what car they’re getting etc and I find it embarrassing, especially forgetting names or getting them wrong. So I think to overcompensate for my terrible memory (which looks like I’m not that interested) I finish sentences to try and show how interested I am/that I really understand what they’re saying...then forget it obv.

I didn’t realise how annoying it was, except sometimes I catch their expression of annoyance and think oops.

Another reason I do it, is because if someone does it to me, rather than finding it irritating I think ‘they know exactly what I mean’ but in the context of say, me: “the way she said it was so..” them: “unbelievably rude.” There, she gets me, it’s a validation thing.