Aibu to think this employer shouldn't have said this?

[arisingproblems]

Ive been accepted for a job which I start this week but prior to this at the interview, they specifically asked me about children/childcare so I said he will be going to school and childminders like he did before, but they said OK and what if he ill or gets ill? We need reliability and consistency. The last thing we need at this company is someone who has to collect their child or have a day off because they're poorly. I said it's fine my husband can also help out... which is not true as my husband is also in the same situation! He cannot just up and leave because of the nature of his job and he works far away. I feel like I am being pressured now that if I have one day off because my DS is ill, then they'll just say don't bother coming back we did warn you  I absolutely love working and I really enjoy just having a purpose in life. That's why I got the job in the first place but on top, I do have stress because of what they said. Is this actually allowed? People I've spoken to said they've never heard any employer saying this before.

I feel like I am being pressured now that if I have one day off because my DS is ill, then they'll just say don't bother coming back we did warn you

I don't think they could do this though I supposed they could be off with you afterwards.

However if your child/children do get ill - DH could possible do emergency parental leave or you could say you are sick after a while though it's perfectly reasonable for your circustances to have changed since the interview - as life happens.

I've been told they can't ask such question at interviews but I've certainly had it and known many other women who have - the other thing is once you start they may be different -differnet people and attitude. Though if they really are that family unfriendly maybe look to move on as soon as possible.

Excellent, balanced replies from ElluesPichulobu in particular; nobody wants to minimise real discrimination, but all too often we see allegations of it, when what folk actually seem to mean is "something which doesn't quite suit"

Working with childcare responsibilities can be a challenge, and yes kids get ill, so surely the best solution is to get what arrangements you can in place beforehand. The wheels may still fall off occasionally, but at least that way some of the consequences are absorbed

In the NHS interviews you definitely cant ask these questions. Parents of both sex are understood to have made proper arrangements for the car of sick children

And well done, Bloke23 , for being one of those who's prepared to share the load. Far too many male partners still see this as "wife work", and some mums are only too ready to blame employers instead of looking to their OHs to do their bit

It's true of course that it can be difficult when a partner earns the lion's share of the family income, but again there's only so much an employer can be expected to suck up because of this

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Today 09:18GiveHerHellFromUs

What are all these super important jobs that these men have that no mother could ever possibly do because of childcare?"
Well quite. They're usually very niche roles and there are only three of them in the whole country. And these are presumably the men with the very outing hobbies.

16 years ago i was asked at a job interview whether i had children and was i planning to. I said no. And that i didnt want children.

He replied. Why? Dont you like responsibility?

Women cant win.