Sleep. Or lack of it. I am being bloody unreasonable but I’m so tired I don’t care

[didyoueverdancewiththedevil]

My DH does the following

1. Snores loudly
2. Twitches a lot and sometimes these are so bad he jumps himself awake.
3. Can only sleep on his side facing me as he has an arthritic hip. I hate people breathing in my face and this means that I can only sleep in one position facing away from him. And this sounds horrible but he’s had a rotten tooth for about five years and at nighttime the smell is not nice. He’s terrified of dentists and refuses to sort it out.
4. Refuses to see doctor about any of the above.
5. Gets defensive when any of this is mentioned.
6. Says I must wake him if I can’t sleep and he will go to the spare room. So I feel bad about waking him up to ask him to go to the spare room.

Well I’m sick of it. Why can’t he just sleep in the spare room from the off? All of his clothes etc are in the spare room so if I go in there he wakes me at 5am to get ready for work. I don’t have to get up until 7am

For the last four weeks he’s had a cold and a cough which is adding to the racket.

I’m sitting on the sofa now to get some peace and now his work mobile is buzzing over and over and over again and because the damned thing is locked I can’t turn it off. If I go back to bed I’ll have to put up with the endless snoring. If I go to the spare room he’ll wake me up at 5am to move me back to our bed so he can get ready for work.

I’m just so bloody tired. I know he can’t help it but the lack of quality sleep is driving me insane. The only time I can fall asleep next to him is if I’ve had enough alcohol to knock me out.

Have two main bedrooms, one each. We start the night off in the same bed most nights but end up in separate rooms. This wouldn't work for you I would state this as the way forward, I might suggest a trail period if I was feeling kind. If you have the funds make it nice. Get some more sleep and give zero fucks.

Just remind him sacrificing sleep to share a bed wasn't one of your marriage vows.
If he wants to stay married it's him in the spare room...

I know a few people who sleep in separate rooms, relationships perfectly fine. I had a couple of years sleeping in spare room, but now use earplugs. I still hear alarm/ toddler crying, but not DH's sleep noises, usually. Sometimes he has a big snorey night and I end up rolling him over/ sleeping elsewhere. Sleep is important! Good luck x

He sounds like a real catch. Rotten tooth, farting, arthritic hip

Tell him he is to go to the spare room so you can get some sleep. I would just watch films loudly on my phone all night until he went to the other room but then I am pretty petty and stubborn.

rotten teeth can lead to infection which can lead to (ahem) bacterial endocarditis which can damage his heart or sepsis & kill him (say this to scare him in to doing something not to scare you - I am not saying this is likely but having rotten teeth can lead to several health issues) meantime make him use mouth wash

Separate beds and separate rooms. Bliss

Restless, snorey, comes to bed very late, wakes me up, pulls the duvet off me all night, moans if I need to read when he disturbs me, niggles if I put on night cream......

Rotten teeth can cause an abscess. This happened to my DH who I managed to get to a dentist, despite his phobia, when he was really sick. The dentist took me in another room and told me to drive him straight to the hospital only stopping if he stopped breathing to call an ambulance. The dentist rang ahead and DH had an emergency operation to deal with the situation before his airway was entirely blocked.

“I suppose it’s my fault you can’t sleep”

YES, YES IT IS! EVERY SINGLE NIGHT!

Mlou32 He’s actually really gorgeous (well I would say that) but he does have questionable habits, is a nightmare to sleep next to and has a rotten tooth.

Without me have to say one single word he’s volunteered to sleep in the spare room.I think me growling at him last night has had an effect. He won’t be sharing a bed with me again (to sleep anyway!) until he sorts his shit out.

I’m so looking forward to a big sleep tonight.

Thanks everyone for your advice.

Our sleep patterns bloody awful at the moment op

I'm the snorer although not every night. I bought some nasal clips on amazon after doing some research online and they work nine times out of ten if I remember to put them in

Dh likes to go up early as he starts early so il go up with him normally and watch my tablet whilst he falls asleep pretty much instantly.

I find if I am awake too long I then start getting twitchy legs and If I fall asleep too early I wake up in the early hours and can't get bak to sleep.

Dh will nudge me some nights and startle next or Hel be having a bad nights sleep and continuously get in and out of bed which also disturbs me but blames me snoring 😴

Last night was Particularly bad and he woke me up about four times

I mentioned it earlier and said il sleep on sofa so as not to disturb him but he didn't want to be seperate so I told him he disturbed me loads last night aswel.

We went up about an hour ago and I came down before I'd fallen asleep to let dogs out and he was totally out for the count.
He's just come down now so I've pointed out clearly it's not me waking him

We don't have a spare room but if we did I'd be sleeping in it.

In the odd night I've ended up on the sofa with a poorly child I've had a much better sleep.

OP just go as others suggest and go to sepwrate bedrooms

My OH sleeps until the spare room downstairs when he needs to get up at 4am. Then he can potter and get ready without disturbing us.

Over Christmas he has been in with me and yes I told him there were times I nearly put the pillow over his head due to the snorting hacking phlegm etc

Last night he still had his cold so said he would sleep downstairs so he could stay alive

Glad he’s seen sense over the spare room. Is he actually aware btw his breath stinks from his rotten tooth?

And, he can only guilt you if you allow it!