Boyfriends female friend

[Duvetdaysarethebest]

Have namechanged for this as it's quite outing and don't want to be linked to other posts.

I've been with boyfriend 6 months now and he's always had a female friend who I wasn't really bothered about - anyway in the last 3 months she's ramped up texting/calling/tagging him in stupid stuff online. I spoke to him about it as it looks like she's after him and is making it quite obvious - annoying. So I ask him to find out what on earth is going on as other friends are wondering what her game is. So this evening he goes to her and she's admitted feelings for him and says it's killing her seeing us together. He's just texted me and said she's suicidal. I'm not entirely sure what to do about this as half of me thinks she's being manipulative but the other half is worrying that she is actually suicidal and needs professional help. My poor BF is stuck in the middle and is trying to be loyal to both of us. What should I do?

Sounds like he’s done the right thing, but her sake (and both of yours) it’s probably best to distance yourselves away from her.

@crestedrobin are you for real?

Half my friends are male. Half of my boyfriend's friends are female. I think that's healthy.

Never underestimate what an immature, manipulative woman will do to get the attention of the man she claims to “lurve”.... If she is released very quickly (within a day or two), I would be dubious about whether this is a genuine psychiatric problem or an attention-seeking scheme that may develop into a habit if it served her purpose of extricating her “true love” from your clutches. (Would be interesting to know if she’s done this before, too.)

It sounds like shes very ill and your BF got her the support she needed and has now (hopefully) stepped away. Sounds like he's done the right thing to me and I hope the 2 of you can get through this

Op, your BF sounds so lovely and you sound as though your being very nice about it. He needs to go no contact with her for her own mental healths sake- explain that to him.

Just to add that your DP should know and be reassured that her mental health is nothing to do with him- her feelings for him might have been a trigger, but it's actually something far bigger and deeper for it to have reached this point. He must be feeling so conflicted and horrible now.

This is quite sad actually. Maybe it should be considered that she is a normal person and she just genuinely has feelings and actually loves him. I dont know though she will just have to get over it because you are with him.

Unrequited love is painful. If he stays in touch with her she may read this as him having feelings for her.

I think he should probably just tell her Mum that he only saw her as a friend and as his relationship is causing her pain it’s probably best for her that he breaks contact.

I feel for her. Whatever the depth of her current crisis, she is obviously hurting.

I think (think!) in a lot of cases those who are genuinely suicidal don't declare that they are suicidal. They're very secretive about it and don't want to be stopped.

Contact "Mind" (Mental Health charity) for advice.

"Mind offers advice, support and information to people experiencing a mental health difficulty and their family and friends. Mind also has a network of local associations in England and Wales to which people can turn for help and assistance."

www.mind.org.uk/

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy
If it works for you fine, I've explained why it wouldn't work for me. We're all different you know.

Yes, but don’t you think you should try to conquer your insecurities, @crestedrobin? It’s a bit depressing to rule out half the human race as potential friends.

I think you're being rather harsh. Fair enough not to trust her but all he's done is try and be a supportive friend, he hasn't done anything wrong so I don't see why you should dump him for it.

If his concerned phone the mental health crisis team if she's genuine they will section her getting her support if it's just for his attention which it probably is you will know. Or tell him to contact a member of her family with his concern then say maybe it's best he stays away so she can work through it

If she is being admitted to hospital you can assume she is in a bad way OP. They really don’t have enough places for people who have been knocked back by a boy. Just remember we can all be susceptible to mental illness and if so you’d want people like your boyfriend to be kind.

It's a great relief that she only became suicidal when your b/f went to visit her. Just imagine if she'd chosen any OTHER couple of hours, eh?

She sounds like a petulant adolescent who has read too much rubbish teen romance. Don't get embroiled in her drama, OP.

@messolini9 Yes I agree. It was a short route from declaring her love, being denied love by OP's BF causing her to become suical and sectioned.
From my understanding it is very hard to get sectioned.
She is either extremely ill or a drama queen using vital services.

He is not stuck in the middle. He needs to stay away from the drama and so do you. He got way too involved with a disturbed person and you don't need to be dragged into this mess.