Are we making the right decision, moving house?

[Winterwarmer21]

We currently live in the area I grew up in which had about 17,000 people living in it. It’s a “bad” area and the school is bottom in our county. Growing up here I know what it’s like and I dislike it so we do want to move and have been looking for 1 year.

I’m currently a SAHM and OH works from home or travels abroad.

We had decided on 2 areas.

Area 1 - 4 miles away (so still not a great area) but it’s better than the one we are in. Has decent schools and a train station and has easy links into the city centre. 2 close family members live here and others are 5 minute drive away. Houses rarely come up and we’ve had none that we’re interested in for 1 year.

Area 2 - 12 miles away. Outstanding school and a small village of 7,000 people. Lots of local shops and cafes. Several new builds building in the area which we really like the look of. No family in immediate area. Nearest train station is 6 miles away. 25 minute drive for family to visit although we would have a spare bedroom to sleep over.

We are very nearly buying a house in area 2 but then have a wobble and think “am I making a mistake?” I hate living where I grew up and in a way would love a fresh start which area 2 would give us. We had a friend that has already moved there so do know 1 person in the area.

What do you think?

Area 2. Family is very much still “in immediate area”.

Area 2, no question at all

YANBU it’s your personal choice! I would go for Area 2, it’s still plenty close enough to your family and you sound like you’d be happier there.

Area 2 - I moved from a rough huge to a lovely smaller town surrounded by lovely small villages nearly an hour away from anyone i know and i haven't regretted it for a day. I love it here.

Area 2. Why is your family being on your doorstep such a deciding factor. Surely the priority is getting your kids into a better area? I never understand when people do this, who cant function if their families are not in each others pockets.

Area 2.

A 25 minute drive is nothing!

I would pick area 2, but check to see if there are any more plans for large developments in the area. We were considering moving to a new estate in a village a few years back, however, after doing a bit of research realised there were plans for a numerous large new build estates, but very little extra schools, GP practices etc. Now they’ve been built there are huge waiting lists for schools and GP surgeries, congestion on the tiny roads and houses have deprecated so people are stuck there. It’s just something to consider.

2

And for the avoidance of doubt

TWO!

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For my circumstances, I'd choose area 1 as I don't drive and as a family we don't want to be reliant on a car.

For you, sounds like area 2. Your family are still close.

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No one needs to stay over after driving for 25 mins

Area 2. I’d snap up a nice village location in a heartbeat if we were in the position to move. 25 minutes isn’t long. There are definitely advantages to not having the family popping in as and when they feel like it too! Been there. It can be exhausting and the novelty wears off fast!

I would go for 2 if there is good public transport and a secondary school close enough for kids to get themselves there.

Also a village of 7000 is not small

Thanks everyone.

Seems like area 2 is the one.

It isn’t so much that I need my family or to live in their pockets, I don’t. I moved 500 miles away about 5 years ago but did miss them and struggled without ever having a babysitter so we moved back but I feel I the benefits of living in a nicer area.

I should also say that area 1 is still very nice and has a good name in my area. It’s the better areas to live. Area 2 is just further out and so feels a bit of a bigger move.

My family do pop in a lot now which can be irritating and I’m relied upon for childcare a lot which would stop if we moved and therefore is something I consider. My family like living in each other’s pockets but I’m not that bothered. I see them all weekly and sometimes more but moving a bit further out would make it more of an event and more planned out.

I miss the benefits of living in a nicer area**

the 3 sets of friends we see most frequently live 20 minutes, 25 minutes and 30 minutes drive away. we know people who are closer to us but the friendships aren't as strong.

area 2 sounds best. the distances to people nearby won't be a problem.

will you be returning to work OP and when you do will you expect/(hope for) help with childcare from your family on a daily basis? If you only expect to see your family once a week 25 minutes is nothing but if you want daily help you might want to hold out for the closer place.

Do you/your partner/your family and friends generally drive?

Area 2. We live just over an hour from my family and I still see them at least once a week. Its nice to be able to plan ahead and not worry about them just dropping in though!
We've gone from a very large town to a village with 1000 residents and 1 pub, would much prefer a slightly bigger village with some amenities though!

I'd pick Area 1 - easy commute, good schools, easier for secondary schools too? Possibly more things for teens to do and easy access to the city when old enough.

All of my family drive which is a plus as it means they can’t get there easily. We both drive too.

In terms of working, I plan to return in the next year or two and area 2 as area 2 is a bit further out it would be a bit more hassle to commute. But there is an after school club In the school which is considerably cheaper than the after school club my son used to use at our current location.

Childcare on a daily basis is most probably not an option that I’d use or want to use for various reasons (from my parents). My siblings have their own school drop offs and pick ups so they couldn’t help anyway. And MIL and FIL have both passed away.

At the moment we do get offers of babysitters quite often for OH and I to go for a meal on a weekend etc and I guess that would stop as we’re currently only 5-10 minutes from my siblings but we both agree we could live with that.

We did area 2 and don't regret it, walking distance to DH work so we only need to run one car. 20 mins drive in good traffic and MIL has DD once a week and dropping her off and picking her up has never really been an issue. Plus it's just far away enough that we don't get loads of visitors!

Area 2 sounds like where I live, and I love it. If you still have a pre-schooler, check out toddler groups and the like for meeting other parents, and of course there's the school playground. You'll soon meet people, and hopefully in time you'll find friends you can trade babysitting with. Much easier to make the new friends while you're at home and/or on the school run, so it's a good time to make the move.

My family likes to live in each other’s pockets too. When I did live closer (now about half an hour away by car) one member in particular would just drop by and expect tea and an hours entertainment. If I wasn’t home (or if I hid off in a bedroom and ignored it until they went away) they would actually get really funny with me for not being home. Well, call first? Some to you don’t want to be fully go-outside-dressed and have the house gleaming 24/7 just in case.

We did area 2 and do no regret it one bit. We absolutely love living here.

Area 2 without a doubt. 25 mins for family is nothing. We live 2.5hrs from nearest family member. Distance really is not an issue these days