WIBU to meet this man at the park

[Cheeseboardcriminal]

My DC has 2 friends that are siblings, they have been best friends for about 7 or 8 years.

I know their parents and would chat at the school gates to either mum or dad and when dropping off or picking up from each others houses. We don't see each other socially.

They split up a year ago at the mums request and she has since moved in with someone else.

The dad of the two and I got chatting (he initiated it), I was clear (very clear) that there is no romantic intention from me. I spoke to the mum and just told her we had been chatting and if she was uncomfortable I would remove him from my social media. She said it was fine.

This weekend dad friend asked did we want to meet up at the park. Our kids were excited and I didn't see any harm so I said yes.

5 kids, 2 dogs, in a park, Broad daylight. Clearly not a date. We went in separate cars and went straight home separately.

Last night I got a load of abuse from the mum. I reassured her there was no romantic intention again and said if she was uncomfortable with it I would happily remove him from my social media which I did.

Just for the record the mum moved on with her friends ex 2 months after that relationship ended, they now live together. So I am finding the fact she is kicking off because I am her friend (we talk at the school gate as above) a bit thin. BUT my child is best friends with their child so I don't want to upset anyone. He is a bit annoyed because she shouldn't be able to control his friendships a year after she left him.

So YABU - only a brazen hussy would meet a man in the park with their kids.

YANBU - she is being ridiculous but for the sake of the childrens friendships, best to nip it in the bud.

Yanbu at all OP and would be totally reasonable to continue behaving as you've done so far.

Voted Yanbu but like everyone else don’t think you need to nip it in the bud.

I’m divorced (if it matters, my instigation but no OM or new partner now) and I’d be more than happy for my friends to meet ex and kids at the park! The kids complain they don’t get to do play dates and so on when they are with Dad (although dd can now walk to her own friends’ houses) so it would be great. Unfortunately he doesn’t really do play dates and tends to offend people!

Your biggest mistake was asking her permission in the first place, you gave her some sort of power over the situation which she has no entitlement to

YANBU it would also be completely reasonable to shag his brains out (providing you are also single)

You should add him back on social media and still meet with him and the kids. Who cares what people at the school gate gossip about, people that know you will know that you’re not sleeping with him (not that it’s anybody’s business). And anyway, who cares, you’re both single.

I have voted yanbu but only to the she is being ridiculous part not the nip it in the bud part.

Ditch social media and carry on as you are? You can be friends with whoever you like. Don't get drawn into childish crap like this, it's not a good example for the kids.

Remove her. She's bonkers.
Do what you like! You don't need the approval of some random parent.

I'm baffled as to why you felt you needed to make it clear (very clear) that you had no romantic intentions from the very start.

Did you think he had romantic thoughts about you?

I wouldn't give a second thought to whether the parent was male or female if I was setting up a play date for my son.

Because I didn't want to unwittingly end up either A leading someone on or B being subject to rumours.

I have been naieve about men's intentions before and found myself in uncomfortable situations so I just set my stall out and then no one gets the wrong idea.

My ex always said if a man that you are not already good friends with starts talking to you on social media all if a sudden then they are only after one thing. Nine times out of ten he is right.

I ended up on a date with my driving instructor the year before last because I just thought he was friendly and we were going out for dinner as pals. I never want to make that mistake again!

Glad you are going to apologise. He might feel quite ostracised as dads have a hard enough time at the school gates as it is. You had a play date, that’s all. It’s none of her business.

@cheeseboardcriminal ...hi,I opted for Yanbu but disagree with the wording of the choices,should have been....Yabu and drop him or Yanbu crack on......and yes crack on!!she doesn't want him but doesn't want anyone else to want him either.
None of her business!
Get to know him and see how it goes op,it could turn into something lovely....

I think it's really sad the kids lose out on friends because of this. YANBU op but seriously consider letting them seeing their friends again even if it's just inviting the kids over (bridges are probably burnt now you've removed her though).

I don't think I'd really care what she was spreading though. Life's too short and it's a shame for kids to lose their friendships.

Stop messaging her about him, if you're just friends. Totally unnecessary.

Neither. You're allowed to be his friend FFS. Tell the stupid cow to grow up, she left him!

Because I didn't want to unwittingly end up either A leading someone on or B being subject to rumours.

TBH, I think I'd be more likely to become rumour fodder if I told a single Dad that I was most definitely NOT cracking on to him. He'd think I was nuts.

I think from her pov you messaging her to ask permission/approval is basically shit stirring. It wasn't your business to tell her your platonic plans with her ex.
Fine to meet up with the parents of your kids friends, not reasonable to go about it the way you have. She didnt need to know or be bothered by you about it. It's ok to be cautious about him thinking you might fancy him, but leave her out of it. Makes everyone involved assume the opposite if you're strenuously denying its just as friends, yourself included.
It's ok if you do end up fancying him you know, it's ok. Don't wind her up though.

YANBU. But no need to nip anything in the bud - she is BVU