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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I miss my Mum so much and I miss home

57 replies

Rugbyonthebeach · 06/01/2020 05:55

Christmas holidays and it's just hard. I really miss her. It's been a long time since she died but sometimes...oh my goodness is it hard.

It sounds peculiar but I just wanted to write a thread to remember her aloud, kind of. She was so wonderful and kind and loved me so much. I felt so special, like I was smart and talented and had a lot to offer the world. She just really believed I had all these good qualities.

She was an amazing writer. So much fun to be with. She was a dear friend to a wide circle, because she was so kind and helpful, but also loved to laugh.

I have moved halfway across the world and I miss her, and the home we had together. I just had to say it somewhere other than my own head.

To my Mum, I will love you forever..

OP posts:
Member869894 · 06/01/2020 07:18

As a mum I couldn't be prouder or more touched if one of my children wrote this after my death.

Canigoonroblox · 06/01/2020 07:31

Your Mum sounds beautiful Rugbyonthebeach. I lost my lovely Mum suddenly 6 months ago. She was the kindest person I have ever met and the first person I spoke to every day. Christmas and new year were very difficult. We have been lucky to have such wonderful parents.

Straycatstrut · 06/01/2020 07:38

She is the type of mum that I try to be.

I really don't enjoy Christmas anymore, so much pressure to be happy and perfect.

DarlingCoffee · 06/01/2020 07:41
Flowers
Candymay · 06/01/2020 07:43

What a wonderful tribute. I wish I could be that kind of mother. I’m going to try harder today not to be such a nag to my children. Your mother sounds exceptional and so do you. Keep strong.

NoSauce · 06/01/2020 07:46

Beautiful. I’m sorry she’s not with you OP. She sounds like a wonderful woman and mother.

Myheadisamess31 · 06/01/2020 07:47

Bless you OP ❤ i adore my mum and dread the day i no longer have her. Reading this has made me want to go and give her a huge hug.

Your mum will always be with you. She sounds like a fantastic lady. Big hugs Flowers

Smellbow · 06/01/2020 07:48

She sounds lovely. What an honour to have a mum like that. I hope saying this has helped you - I lost my father and I find that people expect you not to talk about it after a while.

HeronLanyon · 06/01/2020 07:51

Op I am in same position. My lovely old ma died a year ago and I miss her a lot. Just miss her positivity and fun and friendship (I even miss the annoyances and occasional arguments we had !).
It’s good to say this. I sometimes say out loud ‘mum I really miss you’ seems to kind of help to get it out.
It’s so tough but so are we and our loved ones would want nothing so much as for us to be ok.
Support and hugs to you.

RhodaCamel · 06/01/2020 07:54

That was so very lovely and brought a tear to my eye this morning. My lovely mum is still with us but has Alzheimer’s, we are very losing her slowly bit by but by I am still cherishing every moment I spend with her. Flowers

NoProblem123 · 06/01/2020 08:00

Your mum sounds lovely 💐

TatianaLarina · 06/01/2020 08:12

My mum is getting on and won’t be around much longer and I dread how much I will miss her. We got on so badly when I was young, but as adults we’re really close.

SeagullOnTheWind · 06/01/2020 08:16

@Lou670 we've got to arrange the same imminently. I'm sorry.

OP, I think it's a good idea to speak out loud, so to speak. I'm not good at that, but we have a spot on a particular beach where we cast a pebble in, and talk to my nan. I don't do it in earshot of anyone. But it definitely helps. Been over eight years.

Rookie93 · 06/01/2020 08:16

Flowers made me think of my mum, thank you

Oopsypoopsy2020 · 06/01/2020 08:16

What a lovely tribute to your Mum - I hope I’ll be remembered with such love x

housinghelp101 · 06/01/2020 08:19

That was so beautiful OP. I'm so sorry for yours and all of the other posters' loss. Your mum sounds totally amazing.

I felt so special, like I was smart and talented and had a lot to offer the world. She just really believed I had all these good qualities

This really struck me, it's something that I really want to instill in mine and I really hope after I'm gone they genuinely believe it. Yours did such an amazing job.

dottiedodah · 06/01/2020 08:22

Oh Sweetheart you are not alone.My Mum died 10 years ago a week before Christmas .It is so very hard .I dont know where you live but here in UK ,Cruse is a wonderful charity offering counselling for free, at any point in time and to anyone who needs it .Your love for her comes across so well ,and as I always think how lucky we are to have had such good mothers and cherish precious memories .Hugs and kisses to you xxx

ohprettybaby · 06/01/2020 08:30

I understand how you feel OP. I feel that way about the loss of my dad, 9 years ago. They say 'time heals' but I think that, while you may get used to it, the loss of a parent is huge and leaves a scar upon your soul.

I still send Christmas cards (and birthday and Fathers' day cards) to my Dad and pour out my heart in it but I can't give it him so leave it in the Gardens of Remembrance like many others do. It helps me.

I'm sorry for your loss but it warms my heart that you have lovely memories of your mum to carry with you throughout your life.

MissKittyBeaudelais · 06/01/2020 09:11

I think that’s lovely. You loved her and miss her so much. She sounds like such a special person and you are still the daughter she thought talented and wonderful. I hope you truly realise this because I’m sure she would want that for you, OP.

My mum died unexpectedly in October. I’m grieving and shocked and in the process of a complaint regarding the hospital she was in. I’ve a long way to go in my grieving process.

HeronLanyon · 06/01/2020 09:15

mkb so sorry you’re having to go through that on top of losing your mum. Literally take one day at a time. I found days I could do ‘stuff’ I tried to do what I could because there were days on end when I just couldn’t face anything much at all.
Support. And hug.

MissKittyBeaudelais · 06/01/2020 09:16

@Heron...thank you. That’s me as well, in a nutshell.

WizardOfAus · 06/01/2020 09:23

Sending you all the love and strength in the world. I lost my mum December 19th. There is a hole in my heart and I know it will never go away.Flowers

HeronLanyon · 06/01/2020 10:23

wizard so sorry. My ma died just before the previous Christmas which frankly I don’t really remember very much. Support. It is bloody tough.

QuietCrotchgoblins · 06/01/2020 10:37

That was beautiful. Your mum like she was a wonderful person. Her legacy is all the love she gave you and happy memories to remember her by. Read her writing, look at pictures, videos and relive those happy times. It's fine to sob your heart out, the pain is awful.

Babynumber2dueNov · 06/01/2020 11:16

God, what a lucky person you were to have her, and what a lucky mum she was to have had a daughter like you. This post has made me think about what I want to be to my daughters- just like your mum. I feel like this about my beautiful Grandpop- and find the Christmas period really hard too. It still makes me laugh that even when I looked like a potato with a fringe in my teens, he always made me feel so beautiful and wonderful and just the best person he’d ever met. Some people are just wonderful xxxx