Anyone else on venlafaxine or venlalic? *trigger rape*

[NewYoiker]

Fuck me it's making me so tired during the day but wide awake during the night! Anyone else on this medication?

I tried to kill myself in November and my poor DH was beyond upset by that but we're moving forward. I'm being treated by the priory and I have direct access to my psychiatrist. My husbands work is paying for my mental health treatment which is fucking amazing and totally unexpected.

I know this is also very pathetic but I really like sex and it makes me feel closer to my DH but I can't orgasm on these bloody tablets!! I know it's a small price to pay with regards to not being dead or wanting to kill my self but it's so hard to have sex and know I won't orgasm I'm getting put off the whole idea which is fine with DH but not with me. We haven't had sex in 2 months and I'm so sad about that. I'm starting psychotherapy and emdr(?) on Tuesday

because I was raped when I was 15 and now the police are interested in proceeding with a conviction. I reported him years ago but I was told even though I was 15 at the time there was very little point in Pursuing a conviction but now 6 other women have also reported him for rape. North wales police have now got in touch again and asked for a video statement because it was statutory rape and they can use my statement to send him to prison for a long time.

I told my mum when the police got In touch because I'd told no one to that point and I'm 30 now.. I mean I told her at the time that I had been attacked and she drove like a bat out of hell to come and get me but I didn't tell her I was raped at knifepoint. I've told her now but it's hard..

Anyway!! Has anyone had any experience of the priory, venlafaxine or emdr? Please help x

So many MH meds mess with orgasms, it's such a tough tradeoff if sex is a strong part of your identity! Sorry, got no good recommends - haven't tried yours, all mine prevented orgasm too so... dunno. I kept going with the sex, despite almost no orgasms it's still good fun and a mood raiser - you do have to push yourself but it's worth it (and DP worried a little less).

Brilliant of you to be up for putting that evil shiter behind bars. Stay brave and get him done.

@SpoonBlender thank you! I bought some vagisil lubricant thingy that I can use and it lasts all day on a day that I think that DH might initiate sex. So that it doesn't kill the mood to use lube. I know I'd rather be alive and unable to orgasm than be dead but I still find it pretty shit. I bought a womaniser thingy but even that doesn't really work bloody hell!

I think I just need to let go and accept it? But it's hard going

Ask your psych whether there are other meds you can try?
I’ve only been on SSRIs- couldn’t climax on Prozac but could on citalopram so there might be something in your drug’s family that they can try for you.

EMDR was brilliant for me for a similar history.

Good luck. You’re doing amazingly

I've been on venlafaxine since the end of 2009, I actually really wish I'd been on something else because I'm unable to come off it now. But I've not had orgasm dysfunction with it, unlike citalopram and I've forgotten the really obvious one, not Prozac but might be the same under a different name.

I also took venlafaxine years before '09 and had awful side effects and stooped. But the longer you're on it, the less the aside effects seem to happen.

It could be me, it could be the other medications I'm on and how they interact with it.

I would give mirtazipine a miss.

Antidepressants are different for everyone and it's worth trying others if they don't work for you. I have a friend who takes sertraline and it gives him awful cabbagey wind and he can't orgasm either.

It's a trade off but in my experience it can be quite damaging to reach the peak but not go over the edge, for so long. Made me feel weird, frustrated and stressed.

Good luck! And well done for doing what you're doing.

I’ve been on venlafaxine for years and had no trouble reaching orgasm. However more recently I’ve really been struggling with this and was putting it down to my age - so I totally understand your frustration. I would definitely go back and ask to try other meds, I’ve been on lots o different combinations over the years because of different unwanted side effects.

Tbh if it's working for you isthe I'd stay with the effexor til you at least know what's happening about charges against this man. You've got so much going on. It's actually an SNRI rather than SSRI, so feel free to talk to your doctor about why they choose that specifically, and what they think about timing, and trying something new.

Meanwhile, EMDR is astonishingly good, and I've seen it make a huge difference to women, men, and children.

The drugs def made a difference, but spending more time on sex was all that I needed.

Good luck, sounds as if you have fantastic resources, use them!

I found EMDR invaluable for dealing with the effects of traumatic memories. Sorry I've no experience of the othérs.

Hi @NewYoiker , if you've just started on Venlafaxine, try and stick with it - I found that the most pronounced side effects were in the first 6-8weeks, which for me were - like you, being unable to orgasm, and constant non-stop yawning! These eventually subsided though, and now they are working fine. I still occasionally go back to yawning when my dose is increased, but I'm able to orgasm again which is a bonus, since I didn't want to lose that part of me (which I did on Sertraline, Citalopram and Fluoxetine).
The Venlafaxine has been - literally - a lifesaver for me too.

Well done to you for your bravery in coming forward and bringing that vile man to justice

DefinitelySpeak to your psychiatrist but just think on that it might not just be the tablets. You have been through a lot in the last few months and it does take its toll. So although it probably is the tablets then it could be compounded by everything else.

@HeadLikeAFuckinOrange yes! The fucking yawning! I've also got massive pupils 😳

I'm so sorry for what you've been through.

I'm on citalopram and DH on Venlafaxine so you can imagine what our bedroom life is like

It's better than us both being locked up somewhere though

Be very careful with missing a single dose of venlafaxine as the withdrawals can be horrific including brain zaps and a whole load of other nasties. The withdrawals can kick in within hours of missing the dose.

If you do decide to come off then do it very, very slowly.

Meidcation has also totally killed my sex drive, although I'm single so less of a problem for me.

I have no experience of emdr but have heard very good things about it. I hope that it helps you. I was on venlafaxine several months ago and eventually stopped due to the side effects. I did find myself unable to orgasm though that wasn't the main reason I stopped it. I've never found an antidepressant that works for me or where I found the benefits outweighed the costs. If there's a chance of the side effects wearing off after some time and it's really helping you maybe keep going for a bit longer before speaking to your doctor about trying something new.

I was on quite a high dose for years due to bipolar disorder, but after a very long time it became ineffective for me. When transitioning to a new drug, it must be done within 3 days in my case or I become suicidal again, and it was the worst withdrawal symptoms! EVER! Honestly, if you've ever saw the movie "Trainspotting" that was pretty much me ... (don't worry about this, usually you would stop gradually, which would be fine).

Aside from that, yes for a while I had the same problem as you in the beginning, but it resolved itself with time. (thankfully).
Its a very effective medication, and many people can continue on it long term without needing so much as their doseage altered, which is great. Is it only penetrative sex that you can't orgasm? Or is it fully a no result thing no matter what you do?

@Gingerkittykat I read your comment after I posted mine, (cross post) and yes, it must be done slowly if appropriate, which in 99% of the time it is...

The brain zaps were awful! And I feel like it's impossible to understand how bad the sensation is if someone has never had it...

Yes with the missed doses.

If DH misses one he goes absolutely mental in his sleep. Shaking. Sweating. Violent dreams he can't wake up from. The head zaps.

Venlafaxine is not to be messed with. He's trying to wean off it but it's bloody slow progress and extremely difficult

Retroflex I think the more people who share experiences of this medication the better.

I forgot the freaky dreams and the sweats!

It's the worst symptom for him. He just wants to sleep half the day as his sleep at night is so broken, even when he is consistent, but one forgotten pill and he literally screams in his sleep all night.

@Gingerkittykat I completely agree! I actually asked my psychiatrist why she prescribed it, knowing that it was such a nightmare, and she shrugged her shoulders and said "because it usually works well"

@diditworkforyou when I was coming off them, I took my last dose on the Thursday, then spent the Friday, Saturday and Sunday living in a waking nightmare with severe withdrawal symptoms, knowing that I could end the torture at any time by simply taking a single dose, but I'd have to put myself through that all over again! I started on Duloxetine on the Monday, and by the following week I was feeling human again. Listening to people slowly being weaned off of venlafaxine makes me glad in a way that I must have a rapid change over. I hope your husband gets off it soon...

Yes the missed doses are awful. I have to take it super early in the morning as well as it makes me unable to sleep

@NewYoiker I hope that when your body adapts to the medication you manage to sleep better. And I hope your psychotherapy and emdr help you deal with the trauma from your past.

@Retroflex thank you. The police rang today and I'm going to give a video statement on Sunday which I'm nervous about but I have to do this.

No advice from me but you surely won't have to be on Venlaxafine indefinitely? I'm glad you have been able to access treatment but long term drug therapy is not the answer for your problem.

(I was on Venlaxafine many years ago but it didn't suit me, nothing to do with sex but the effects were horrible in other ways.)

DH has been on it 12 years
He can't withdraw. This is the furtherest he has got. A 20% reduction.

I would be extremely cautious about coming off the venlafaxine just now if I was you. I've tried several AD's and its the only one that did any good. You need to give it at least 18 months.

Its very possible that its not just the venlafaxine thats affecting your libido.
I used to take the buffered version and had 3 small doses throughout the day instead of 1 large dose, but I was on 225mg a day. It took a few months for the drowsiness to wear off, but after it did my libido returned.