Leaving a Tip in a Restaurant

[londonscalling]

I've been out for dinner tonight with family.

Although the meal was nice and the staff were friendly enough, the service really wasn't great.

We were given menus and all decided what we wanted. Only when we put our order in, were we told that a number of our chosen dishes were off the menu. This happened on the main course and desserts.

We were given dessert menus before they'd cleared all the dishes from the main course.

The wrong dessert was served.

It wasn't a cheap meal.

I decided against leaving a tip. I'm now feeling guilty. Was I wrong?

So I work in retail and get minimum wage, morally do I have to tip? I'm not really getting the rules, or am I not allowed out in restaurants because I don't tip. I don't top because its weird to tip people who warn the same as me an hour when I don't ever get tips.

Ffs earn not warn top is tip

The staff should be paid a fair wage and tips should be abolished. No one seeks out exceptional cooking staff. It’s them that produces the meal on time and have the greatest skill set. If people are paid appropriately then no one needs a tip. No one tips a shop assistant, a carer, the office cleaner! All make life more pleasant. It’s just waiting staff and hairdressers. Charges for a meal and services should include decent wages. No more should be expected.

@mantlepiece - if only Zero hour contracts were confined to hospitality, if. Only

Thanks for clearing that up @Aridane, I thought it must have been untrue. I just don't see why wait staff seem to be 'entitled' to tips, any more than any other NMW worker.

The US have it totally right in my view - I leave something between 15% - 20% wherever I go. I don't sit in judgement.

As an American, it's interesting for me to see the diversity of opinions on this in the UK. As a New Yorker, I implore you to follow the local custom on tipping when you visit here. We adore our UK tourists but you have a reputation as being tighter than a duck's arse when it comes to tipping.

@Ffsseriously

I agree with you, I feel like I'm being told that too and I'm in hospitality, I can't afford a 15/20% tip all the time, though I only go anywhere for special occasions anyway. Be assured at least where I work you'd be treated no differently for not tipping - we don't all have our hands out!
On the case of retail Vs hospitality though, on the many threads about retail workers and Christmas/Boxing Day I did comment that maybe the payoff for hospitality workers usually working longer hours etc to cater for everyone who goes out over the festive period, and no campaigns to shut the pubs restaurants and hotels too is tips? 🤣 that's a joke by the way, I don't think hospitality workers are more entitled than any other low wage earners.

The whole nmw /tipping or not to tip culture is due a massive overhaul....

It really belongs in the dark ages...

Everyone should earn enough.... Not to have to have their wages increased by the givers' beneficence. How bloody patronising... Not a performing dog..

"As an American, it's interesting for me to see the diversity of opinions on this in the UK. As a New Yorker, I implore you to follow the local custom on tipping when you visit here. We adore our UK tourists but you have a reputation as being tighter than a duck's arse when it comes to tipping"

This is one of the things that actually really puts me off visiting the US. I am quite happy to tip (and do so!) but there's just so much politics around tipping culture over there that I'd be constantly worried about offended people!

This is one of the things that actually really puts me off visiting the US. I am quite happy to tip (and do so!) but there's just so much politics around tipping culture over there that I'd be constantly worried about offended people!

It's not political at all in my experience. There are a small number of situations a tourist might find themselves in where tipping is built into the economic model, principally restaurateur meals, hotel worker services and taxi rides. You tip at the low end of the range if the service was indifferent and towards the higher end if it was good or very good.

Follow these guidelines and you'll not offend anyone:

www.tripsavvy.com/guide-to-tipping-in-new-york-city-4177115

Whenever I've been in us I always overtip, lest I be seen as stingy. However the level of customer service there is exceptional. I can totally understand why some Americans get narky with our service staff, they are just used to a high standard.

I can totally understand why some Americans get narky with our service staff, they are just used to a high standard.

It's true. A few years ago I was having lunch with some people visiting from the UK. A few minutes after we received our meals and started eating the waitress returned and asked if everything was satisfactory and if there was anything else she could get us. She was refilling our water glasses as this happened.

Right after we told her all was fine and she left one of the visitors looked at me, a bit stunned, and asked "Is that normal?".

I told her, yes, it was quite standard and expected in a good restaurant. I don't think she truly believed me.

@MissConductUS I have been to new York and many other places in America. I actually don't care if I come across as "tighter than a ducks ass". My problem in the US is that they automatically add on a 15-20% tip. That's not a tip in my opinion, a tip is decided by the person leaving it, not asked for. I have on several occasions not paid it when I don't think it's deserved.

"The US have it totally right in my view"

In the US waitstaff routinely get paid about half the minimum wage (which is very low to begin with) and are expected to survive on tips. So to answer the OP, if you were in America you should have still tipped. But since you're in the UK, you were right not to tip. In fact, I'd be reluctant to tip at all, since if tipping became commonplace and routine employers would take notice and, like in the US, would start trying to get minimum wage protection for staff dismantled.

Yanbu. I usually tip because I think it's kind and polite but I never tip when the service is poor.

@Pinkyyy the only times I've ever seen a mandatory service charge in an American restaurant is for large parties (typically six or more guests) and even that isn't all that common. When they are assessed they have to be prominently disclosed on the menu. In those cases it's more of a cover charge than it is a tip for the wait staff.

In the UK, tipping is not mandatory. In the US it absolutely is.

@MissConductUS we are often a group of 6 or more, why does that mean we should pay more? It doesn't in the UK.

I can totally understand why some Americans get narky with our service staff, they are just used to a high standard.

I've never encountered this, all the American guests I've served (working in touristy places over the years quite a few) I've found to be far more polite than many British. Even if something goes wrong (and I've worked in places that it did, regularly! And in places where it's not a regular thing) they have still been civil and polite and thanked me for trying to sort the issue out even if for whatever reason it's still not to their satisfaction. They have expected good service but I haven't encountered the eye rolling, judgey superiority that I've had from British people in spades over the years. They've been calm and to the point, not shouty and personal like so many other people I have served. May just be me! 🤷

we are often a group of 6 or more, why does that mean we should pay more?

I think some restaurants do it because large parties usually occupy a table for much longer than small parties and tend to tip less. In most areas it's a very competitive business with lots of choices and information about those choices readily available on line. If you find the practice offensive patronize an establishment that doesn't impose such a charge for large groups.

@Freddiefatpants when I say narky I don't mean rude, just very forthright and specific about what they want.

The accepted standard in the UK is to tip.

It really isn’t, tipping is discretionary in the UK. I like it that way personally, it means that you can reward good service when you receive it and have it appreciated rather than expected.

You aren't being unreasonable.
BaubleWobbler however, is.

@Freddiefatpants that's good to hear and doesn't surprise me. It's considered really bad manners here to be rude or condescending to wait staff. I worked as a bartender and waitress while attending uni and people were generally very nice to me too, even if there was an issue to be sorted.

No you are right not to tip in this instance