Hi, not sure what I really need from this - some advice would be great.
So my husband is quite the nasty piece of work.. But for some utterly stupid reason I love the bones of him.
He is what I think is financially abusive? His money is not family money, he spends it on his luxuries and won't budge. I don't work due to health reasons and money that I recieve to help because I can't work at the moment is what buys our kids all they need. He wont buy me a thing without noting it down and taking the money back from me once I have it. He also won't have a joint bank account as he says I'll spend all his money?!
He makes me feel like rubbish, calls me names, he called me a fucking gimp because I asked him to put our child to bed - his reply? I'm sure I've done it once this week already, I thought you would do it.. So I took our child and he called me the above. He won't spend time with me, he spends it all on his computer - I've realised now he will only come to bed before 2am when he wants sex!
Anyway - I don't know where to go from here, I really feel so alone, I don't have family and friends to lean back on, if I were to leave, how? I have no money, no confidence, no belief in myself. I couldn't private rent really, unless at this moment they accepted benefits, and even at that I don't know how to get a deposit! How does divorce work? I'm honestly so clueless, got with this man very young after a traumatic childhood and honestly I don't know any better! AIBU to be thinking this could get better or am I fooling myself??