My closest friend of 30 plus years is really annoying me, and I need to know if I am being unreasonable. I care for her very much, and she has been a great friend in the past, but the last few years have put such a massive strain on our friendship, I now wonder if our friendship has simply come to a natural end. If I can share with you why I am sad with her perhaps you can tell me if I am being U or not.
Whenever we see each other she speaks endlessly about herself and her life, and never shows much/any interest in mine. Even if I am dealing with some major problems, she always seems to think her stuff is more important. I have tried to talk to her, and she then swings almost immediately back to her new boyfriend/job/holiday whatever. She has become quite shallow over the years, and I don't enjoy our time together like I used to. She is either pouting and boasting on SM whilst I am with her, or checking her messages or talking for hours about herself. It is not fun or enjoyable on any level. I have got used to her over the years being a little selfish, but now after a really tough year when she failed to even ring when I was in hospital I wondered if she is any kind of friend at all.
I invited her to my house this christmas, they stayed for the day. I went to a lot of trouble and expense with gorgeous wines, dinner and lunch for her and the children and presents.
She didn't even send a text to say thank you, and still hasn't. She literally never ever says thank you for any gift/dinner etc, she is totally indifferent to whatever we give her. I sent a text to say thank you for our gifts, and my dc are now writing their notes, you would think that would prompt her to thank me in return by text at least, nope, still no reply apart from she had a houseful and was having a great xmas, and it is now the 2nd of January!!! I am kind of fuming. How bloody difficult is it to send a text!
Total lack of basic manners.
The hardest thing actually isn't even the above, it is the behaviour of her dc. My dc plead with me not to see them, because they are so rude and difficult. They can pinch my dc's arms, and seem to enjoy harassing other children, including my own. So much so, that most of the time I try and see her without the kids now because I don't think it is fair on my children.
She used to be a generous and kind hearted person, but now she just endlessly thinks about herself, she does not consider the feelings of anyone else.
I know many of you will say why are you still friends with this person, but my friends ARE my family, as my family live overseas now. I find it hard to walk away from such a long friendship. I don't even know if I am just expecting too much of her. Her teen dd's birthday is in two weeks time, and I don't even want to give her anything this time, I am totally fed up with giving all of the time!