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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to fire my cleaner

103 replies

Probablyveryirrational · 02/01/2020 14:55

I’ve had a cleaner for 2 years. To be honest she isn’t actually very good at cleaning, but she’s nice and she’s friendly with DS and the dog and with a toddler I am not keen on the hassle of replacing her etc.

However she is often late- like 40 mins or so late (and sometimes this doesn’t matter but sometimes I have people coming and it does actually mess up my plans), and today she just didn’t show up at all. I asked if she wanted some time off over Christmas (she comes twice a week), and she asked for a day off for NYE, which would be Tuesday, a day she usually comes. She is also supposed to come today and didn’t. I’m pregnant, vomiting all day and tired and very fucking pissed off because I get the impression she just doesn’t want to be here/doesn’t really give a shit about her job.

AIBU to let her go over this? Feels especially awkward as she has a set of keys...

OP posts:
DontCallMeShitley · 02/01/2020 16:01

I would not ask her to post the keys because it gives her the chance to duplicate if she wanted

She may already have copied them. Best to get them back in case you need to use the barrel of the locks again elsewhere but also change the locks or barrel, including the back door one even though she 'couldn't find it'.

1forAll74 · 02/01/2020 16:02

You like the cleaning lady, despite her not being up to scratch,so do you ever tell her that you are sometimes not happy with her work ethic ?,You should be able to say a few things,as you are paying her. She might well up her goal a bit then, and stop taking you for granted.

If she knows that you are moving in March,she may be just faffing about,knowing that she will lose her job anyway.

MotherofTerriers · 02/01/2020 16:03

You could look for an agency to clean, and then find someone direct once you have moved

Probablyveryirrational · 02/01/2020 16:05

If she knows that you are moving in March,she may be just faffing about,knowing that she will lose her job anyway

So I was initially planning to take her with. Explained it was more hours, we would increase pay per hour too and all those sorts of things. She just made some extremely disinterested noises so I gleaned she was not actually keen on that idea and that’s what forced the “we will hire someone else then” idea to the fore.

OP posts:
Probablyveryirrational · 02/01/2020 16:06

I’ve made a few comments re stuff she hasn’t done and she just says I expect too much 🤷🏻‍♀️

OP posts:
Astrabees · 02/01/2020 16:06

I'd suggest you get an agency in until you move. I pay an agency a little bit more than I would pay an individual cleaner but the person they send is ultra reliable, hard working and if for any reason I wanted someone else they would arrange that.

Freesunglasses · 02/01/2020 16:06

@DontCallMeShitley why are you and a few other posters assuming this lady will come back and rob her client? The OP has said nothing about her being dishonest.

ddl1 · 02/01/2020 16:07

Since you're moving so soon anyway, I wouldn't have a big confrontation. But just tell her you won't be needing her any more as you will be moving. Presumably in the run-up to the move, you will need someone who can do a big cleaning job in a fairly short time, and is quite professional about it, even if it costs a bit more than usual. And when you are in your new location, it won't need to be as intense as that, but obviously try to find someone relatively competent! Local neighbourhood sites such as those run by nextdoor are often quite good for getting recommendations for services of all sorts, including cleaning.

CoraPirbright · 02/01/2020 16:11

If you’re in Surrey there are bound to be more local agencies than just the one you feel you have annoyed. Also word of mouth is by far the best thing - do you have local mates you could ask who could also ask around? The fact that you are moving can work in your favour as you will be offering even more work in a few months.

She sounds bloody awful and slow and just the tone of that reply to your text would be enough for most people to reconsider the relationship. Find another cleaner and jettison this one OP. It’s not worth the stress!!

champagneandfromage50 · 02/01/2020 16:12

Not sure why you havent got rid of her before. She isnt good and isnt reliable. That alone is enough to ask for the keys back. Stop being so passive , she works for you she isnt your mate. If your worried and anxious get your DH to meet her the next time she arrives and remove the keys, give her that weeks pay and tell her not to come back. Not difficult -

JosefKeller · 02/01/2020 16:13

go on your local facebook group, a mums one if there's one in your area even better, and ask for recommendations. Check past posts as well, as the best ones always pop up, ,and not just because recommended by their sister.

You really need to tough it up OP, you can't put up with a bad attitude and refusal to work from people you pay. Someone not amazing at cleaning but trustworthy, good with kids and dogs, I could understand.
Your cleaner is just rude, why do you put up with that! She is not doing you any favour any more than your hairdresser or accountant are, you are paying her!

SunshineCake · 02/01/2020 16:14

Best advice would be to wait until she comes, ask her for the keys then give her paid notice. Job done.

DontCallMeShitley · 02/01/2020 16:15

@Freesunglasses why are you asking only me?

She is very probably honest, however given her reluctance to do the work she is paid for it is just as likely that she could return, or 'lose' the keys.

I have had cleaners, both honest and hardworking, and dishonest and on that basis I think it would not do any harm to be careful rather than find out the hard way. The cleaner would not know the locks were changed unless she was in fact a thief, so would not be upset by it if she is not.

Maybe ask the other posters too, why they suggest changing the locks, they may be able to explain it to you as well.

Mummymummums · 02/01/2020 16:20

Yes OP - I was annoyed about key. I don't think she knew we'd have a new front door and if we hadn't I'd have had to change locks.
She's actually my 'friend' on Facebook - I'd love to de-friend her but haven't just because we have mutual friends who I value but my ex cleaner is well thought of as a type to go out of her way to help anyone voluntarily sort, so I don't want to rock any boats.
I do feel in her case I was kind and friendly and some people take advantage of that.

Mummymummums · 02/01/2020 16:21

Does make it awkward to ask for recommendations on Facebook for new cleaner though!

Sopheeju · 02/01/2020 16:42

Have you got your cleaner an employment contract or is she self employed? If she’s self employed she doesn’t need to ask you for a day off anytime never mind over the Christmas period. She should just let you know about her days off in advance. I am afraid thou, she isn’t coming back to provide you with her cleaning service anymore.

Alez · 02/01/2020 16:42

I would fire her. Just wait until she comes round next and let her know that you won't need her as you're moving elsewhere, and collect the keys from her. Then find a new cleaner from an agency (or ask neighbours/friends in area for recommendations) to do your current place, and (assuming you're staying in the area?) then ask them to do more hours when you move. It's really not a lot of effort to get a new cleaner, and it's very frustrating having one that's no good.

Flupibass · 02/01/2020 16:43

I used to have a nice , friendly , incompetent cleaner. It took ages to make the decision but eventually asked her to leave. It was such a relief!
No point paying people for jobs not well done.

Lweji · 02/01/2020 16:49

Can't you go back to the agency? Even if only for a few months?

If they did fire her, then they have higher standards than you and they can find you a better cleaner.

WombatChocolate · 02/01/2020 16:58

When you employ someone you have to be prepared to be a good employer. That means that you communicate clearly - make your expectations clear and if you aren't happy about the service received, explain that clearly too. A good employer doesn't quietly remain disgruntled and then seemingly randomly fire their worker, unless there is gross misconduct - they voice disatisfaction, give a chance for improvement and then if necessary end the contract.

Good employers know they will usually have to end a contract/working agreement at some point and know how to do it. Often it isn't due to the service provided being poor, just not required anymore. The good employer gives reasonable notice that it's going to happen and offers thanks for the service and a reference. If the service hasn't been adequate, then an employer should have already raised the issues clearly. When terminating employment they might express the reasons (calmly and politely) or give some kind of other excuse. Unless they are willing to be honest about disatisfaction, reasonable notice I still the decent thing to give.

So Op, consider how clearly you have expressed your dissatisfaction over time keeping. Have you made it clear that you aren't happy and insisted on improvements which haven't occurred - or have you just inwardly seethed but never said. Whilst the cleaner might be expected to be on time, if you've seemed unbothered by her flexible time keeping, she might have assumed you don't mind. It would be unreasonable to go from no mention of the issue to sacking about it, regardless of whether you give that as the reason for ending employment or not.

In the end, you are free to end the employment for any reason really. Simply not wanting a cleaner any longer is fine. You are free to tell her that you are going to try to save some money and do your own cleaning or whatever. The decent thing would be to give some notice and not just to say 'i won't need you next week, give me the keys right now, goodbye'

If you want to end the job, don't be scared to do it. All employers have to do this and cleaners know jobs come to an end. It's all normal. As long as you do things fairly and treat her reasonably it's okay.

Often employers though aren't fair when ending cleaning contracts. They might feel disgruntled about the service or timekeeping and let that feeling fester but never actually voice it. They then feel justified in giving zero notice or even being cross with the cleaner and voicing the disatisfaction at the same time. As sacking them, but this really isn't reasonable. Lots of people shy away from being honest and good communicators.

Unless you have communicated your disatisfaction clearly and are prepared to end the contract with short notice due to disatisfaction, I would aim to give at least a couple of weeks and ideally a month of notice. It's fine to end the agreement and you shouldn't feel scared, but do it the right way and don't justify treating her badly because you've been dissatisfied if you've never actually made it crystal clear.

WriteronaMission · 02/01/2020 17:12

I would fire her based on her being not that good. Poor time keeping is something I hate, so I'd fire for that too.

You could use now to March finding someone who does a good job. If they can't handle a two-bed flat, they won't handle a house. Trial and error.

Probablyveryirrational · 02/01/2020 17:14

@WombatChocolate

I feel like I have been clear on several occasions re being unhappy with lack of cleaning or cleaning issues; or timekeeping.

But also I might just be expressing it in too polite/mild mannered a way so she isn’t really getting it.

I’m really appreciating all the advice actually thank you.

OP posts:
Mlou32 · 02/01/2020 17:25

She is taking the piss. She knows you're a soft touch and is riding roughshod over you. Tell her on the next visit that you no longer require her services. You can be honest or you can make up an excuse ie I'm moving in March so just going to do the cleaning myself for a couple of months to save some money for the move. You can always tell her when she next turns up so that she can give you the keys there and then.

murasaki · 02/01/2020 17:30

How deep into Surrey are you? I'm Croydon, and have a goddess, who also has another partner (who came today as goddess has a bad cold). But I wouldn't have got a cleaner if I'd had to use an agency, it came up in conversation with a neighbour who she's been working for for 5 years, and if it's good enough for S, who is quite, ahem, clear in her feelings, good enough for me - she set us up for a meeting, and it has been bliss since then.

Neverender · 02/01/2020 17:30

I wouldn't pay anyone to do a shit job, no matter how nice they were. It's her job and that's what she's paid for.