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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be annoyed at a "boring" new year

48 replies

Tara21309 · 01/01/2020 16:11

Hi,
So every year for new years, our friendship group (all 23) go out in our local town and this year the same was planned.
My friend asked us all if we would like to predrink in hers and go out about half 9-10, she said her family would be there during predrinks. There was only a small amount of us out - me, my boyfriend, my friend and her boyfriend, and 2 other male friends,

We got to her house about 7 and her whole family were there, including kids, and we played games.
About 8 my friends boyfriend asked her if we'd be going to the local club tonight to which she replied "god no.' I didnt think much of it but thought we'd probably be in pubs then.
Then at about 10pm, there was still no sign of going out, instead we went outside with the kids to do sparklers. I was and my other friends and boyfriend were extremely bored.
One of the male friends asked my friend who's house we were in if we were going out about 11pm and she replied "there's no point yet since we wont get to a pub before midnight and we have fireworks to do", i said to my friend that i dont really want to watch the fireworks and want to go out but of course it proceeded to half an hour of watching her family's fireworks and literally one minute past minute me and my boyfriend decided to go home.

I'd have rather have spent time at home with my own family if i knew that was the case.
I wouldnt have minded if my friend was honest but she clearly had no intention of going out and it's a shame because we hardly go out

OP posts:
Jellybean100 · 01/01/2020 16:13

If you and all your friends were bored you could have just left, surely?

DowntonCrabby · 01/01/2020 16:14

She didn’t hold any of you hostage, all or any of you could have left at any time.Confused

Original poster
Tara21309 · 01/01/2020 16:15

Yes we couldve done but the opportunity just wasnt there. Her boyfriend was obviously going to stay with her (her boyfriend was also disappointed we didnt go out) and my boyfriend and other friends are very close to him, and before 11pm, we were expecting to go out but after 11pm the spirits got lower and we all just wanted to go home

OP posts:
IAmLEA · 01/01/2020 16:16

I was in bed with my kids at 9pm, your evening didn't sound boring! Why do you think it was boring?

Aragog · 01/01/2020 16:16

Why didn't you just make your excuses and leave when you were bored at 10pm?

HotChocWithCream · 01/01/2020 16:17

Your friend was very unreasonable to invite you round under false pretences. She clearly had no intention of going out.

However you and your friends are being unreasonable by not picking up on what was going on. You could have taken yourselves out to the pub/club it's not like she was imprisoning you all.

Original poster
Tara21309 · 01/01/2020 16:17

Because we played a 2 hour board game with kids along with all this and i dont have the heart to stop a game with kids to go out

OP posts:
MrsPelligrinoPetrichor · 01/01/2020 16:18

Never mind,plan next year's NYE.

PullingMySocksUp · 01/01/2020 16:18

She’d said about going out so that’s fair enough you expected it. I’d be disappointed too if I thought I was going out for NYE and then didn’t.

Original poster
Tara21309 · 01/01/2020 16:18

Maybe in hindsight we shouldve picked up and gone out but the whole situation was just awkward, perhaps i was being too polite

OP posts:
Original poster
Tara21309 · 01/01/2020 16:19

Next year, me and boyfriend are going to go away together, not doing this this time next year

OP posts:
Original poster
Tara21309 · 01/01/2020 16:20

I just didnt get it, she bought a new dress online to go out but when we arrived she was in jeans and a top, and not the dress,
Im just a bit disappointed as like i said we dont go out much so i was looking forward to the night

OP posts:
suggestionsplease1 · 01/01/2020 16:20

You sound pretty ungrateful to me tbh. You were welcomed in to your friend's family home and included in all their activities- that's something to be thankful for, not resentful about. Count your blessings, not everyone had someone to share NYE's with last night.

SinisterBumFacedCat · 01/01/2020 16:21

Christ if you were that bored you should have left. Presumably she fed and watered you? You sound pretty ungrateful.

There will be other more exciting new years eves that live up to your expectations.

Original poster
Tara21309 · 01/01/2020 16:22

We didnt eat there and brought our own alcohol?

OP posts:
Original poster
Tara21309 · 01/01/2020 16:22

But my original point was, i wouldve declined and spent time with my own family if i knew what the night actually consisted of.

OP posts:
MayFayner · 01/01/2020 16:30

I don’t think you’re ungrateful at all. Maybe you and the other friends could have a night out this weekend instead?

MayFayner · 01/01/2020 16:31

I know it’s not the same as NYE.

SchoolPanicTime · 01/01/2020 16:35

I think it was very odd of her to invite you for predrinks when actually it was an all evening family event. She should have been honest. That said it doesn't sound that bad and you'll know to be suspicious of her invites next time.

Original poster
Tara21309 · 01/01/2020 16:42

In hindsight, maybe we shouldve gone out but i cant explain how it felt awkward to do so,
Maybe it was the fact kids were there and the kids were demanding we play games and watch fireworks and my friend encouraging it that none of us felt right to say "right were goung out"

OP posts:
Original poster
Tara21309 · 01/01/2020 16:43

Even the predrinks part felt awkward because her entire famiky were there that it felt we couldnt just relax and let go

OP posts:
dontgobaconmyheart · 01/01/2020 17:19

All else being said OP you could have left, or spoken to her directly about it by pulling her to one side. There is little point being annoyed after the fact, though I can understand it was a bit of a damp squib, there weren't very many of you and you went to someones family home with their family present, and children - surely it was never going to be a riotous night out!

IMO it's not polite to stay at someones house when you are clearly all discussing how you are bored and want to leave. You day everyone else was bored so you must have been.

Notes for next time, it's only a night out.

Original poster
Tara21309 · 01/01/2020 18:25

It was meant to be a night out though, we were only meant to be in the house for an hour or 2

OP posts:
UAEMum · 01/01/2020 18:33

I bet mine beats yours (to make you feel better). Me, DH and 2DD (15 and 14) and DS (6) had a nice home cooked meal (by me). Then hung around the house until 11pm. Then we went out to the local.stadium for fireworks. We got to the area and stood with about 1000 other people, counted down to midnight and...... no fecking fireworks we stayed 10 mins and then drove home! At least you had fireworks!

thesunwillout · 01/01/2020 18:45

Maybe her family descended on her unannounced

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