To be annoyed at a "boring" new year

[Tara21309]

Hi,
So every year for new years, our friendship group (all 23) go out in our local town and this year the same was planned.
My friend asked us all if we would like to predrink in hers and go out about half 9-10, she said her family would be there during predrinks. There was only a small amount of us out - me, my boyfriend, my friend and her boyfriend, and 2 other male friends,

We got to her house about 7 and her whole family were there, including kids, and we played games.
About 8 my friends boyfriend asked her if we'd be going to the local club tonight to which she replied "god no.' I didnt think much of it but thought we'd probably be in pubs then.
Then at about 10pm, there was still no sign of going out, instead we went outside with the kids to do sparklers. I was and my other friends and boyfriend were extremely bored.
One of the male friends asked my friend who's house we were in if we were going out about 11pm and she replied "there's no point yet since we wont get to a pub before midnight and we have fireworks to do", i said to my friend that i dont really want to watch the fireworks and want to go out but of course it proceeded to half an hour of watching her family's fireworks and literally one minute past minute me and my boyfriend decided to go home.

I'd have rather have spent time at home with my own family if i knew that was the case.
I wouldnt have minded if my friend was honest but she clearly had no intention of going out and it's a shame because we hardly go out

I feel you OP, it sounds way to awkward for you all to have bailed on, or even a few of you incase other people couldn't (even if they wanted too)
It doesnt sound like a hidious night but if you was expecting drinking & dancing thats a crazy difference so I dont blame you for feeling this way

You can either let it go (cant be changed now!) Or message her & ask out of curiosity wtf happened to your plans.

Did she say anything when you headed off so soon after?

Ignore me, you said she said they'd be there, but maybe she then couldn't tell them she'd planned to go out

YANBU! She misled you.

Personally think she had no intention of going out, from.what you've said. I'd be annoyed too.

I think your friend should of been honest and said she'd rather stay with her family and you can go out if you want but perhaps she wanted you all with her .
Did anyone suggest through the evening when are we going out ? If so what did she say and if no one did well why not ?

You should have just left. That's the end of it. If you really want to be annoyed then be so at yourself for not just doing what you wanted, not your friend.

I'd be disappointed if I'd have been you in that situation. Nothing worse than getting excited for a night out and it not happening 😔 Have you said anything to her since?

We did, we asked "so when are we going out?" to be met with by her saying "we have sparklers to do" or "let's play this board game" or "fireworks now!" And then when it was a final "are we going out??" It was too late and most of the pubs in my area wouldve been on lockdown;

I havent spoke to her today and when we left last night it was just a simple bye.
Im just finding it annoying that it always seems her way or no way

Sounds like there are issues beyond this, OP.

This is so frustrating, you should have just left!

I’m the same age and would be disappointed in the same situation. You thought you were going out or to the pub to drink and celebrate, instead you were playing games with unfamiliar kids. Such a drastic difference

And this is why it’s SOO important to find your own voice. Say yes when you want to and no when you don’t.
You are an independent adult human being who is quite capable of doing this, yet let’s other dictate their evening and then feel hard done by.
I totally hear you and have found myself in many situations similar until I found my inner power and started leading the life I want. Not what other people want me to do.

I’d chalk this up to experience and a good lesson on being more assertive.

Your friend sounds strange at best and manipulative . What the hell was she thinking? And I get how she made it awkward for you to leave. But don’t spend too long being upset. Lesson learned, bring on the new year and never go to her house again.

Isn't there some sort of law of the universe that states that the more you are planning and looking forward to a great NYE, the crappier and more underwhelming it will be?

I'd just learn this lesson. She's deceitful when wanting her own way and will manipulate any way possible to get it. Just store that away until next time. Don't let there be a next time.

And if you really want to make it sting. Make it known that new year sucked monkeys balls. That depends on what type of person you are though.

I would have felt annoyed in this situation too. Clearly she had no intention of going out and she should have been straight about that from the beginning rather than get everyone over under the pretence of pre-drinks and then keep delaying everyone but not admit she didn’t want to go out.

I do agree you should have all just left to enjoy the planned night out but can also see how sometimes that’s easier said than done.

I think you need to let her know her behaviour was out of order and I definitely wouldn’t agree to pre-drinks at hers again!

I think I’d have been a bit frustrated by that too, particularly the 2 hour board game. There’s so much pressure on NYE though. I reckon a lot of people end up feeling disappointed by it.

Look on the bright side, it's a lesson in how to spot a future faker- lucky she only future faked your night out rather than your boss future faking your job re: future promotion or pay increases or a man future faking your relationship. Next year have predrinks at yours or somebody else's, get out the door when you want to not when she starts delaying, and if she wants you to go to hers and huffs when you say no, feel free to rip the piss out of her for this year.

To be honest you can still celebrate New Years this week. Yes it won’t be on actual NYE/NYD but you can at least make the weekend out of it and make memories with your boyfriend and friends to make up for it.

For me, it’s officially business back to normal until Monday so this weekend still has a bit of festive charm left.

Until Monday = on Monday

She had no intention of going out.

YANBU to be annoyed . The agreed plan was to go out for the night and one individual decided to manipulate everyone into doing what she wanted. That is thoughtless and selfish.