To think DH has a nap issue.

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Will start by saying this is not a Christmas nap have a go as everyone relaxes at Christmas and naps etc but this goes on all year round.

He's 31, fit and healthy (runs a bit) and does a desk job. No medical needs.

He works 35h week and chooses to go in for 7am to finish early. We don't need childcare for him to do so he just likes to get in (to nap presumably) but some of the time he makes dinner and does diy.

But the napping situation is out of hand. He falls asleep everywhere, in the morning, at bight, can't watch tv, has to drink coffee and coke to do long drives (and he works ah hour away so I worry about it.

He 'needs' 3 espressos and a long shower in the morning to wake up. If he doesn't get that he's dozy and drowsy and will fall asleep again as soon as he sits down.

Just been to PIL and notice that FIL and BIL are exactly the same. But I also noticed when they made coffee in the morning they made it (not joking) half the cafetière coffee and half water.

They had at least 3/4 cups before breakfast and constantly through the day which I thought was mad! I would have an anxiety attack I think if I drank 10 cups of coffee that strong a day. I had one or two a day (and I asked for weak which was what I thought was normal coffee to most other people) and that was met wit derision and calling my drinks baby coffee.

But then FIL and BIL were also dozing constantly. At 9pm they both excused themselves to get to bed. They had got up at 7. This continued all 5 days. We hadn't done any real exersize except for one day we went for a hike. BIL is 25.

Aibu to think they have a dependency on caffeine and dh is going the same way?

He's just disappeared for a nap after taking dd to the park for an hour. Said he couldn't stay up for new year if he didn't have a nap.

I find it all so bizarre we are young, fit and healthy and shouldn't need to nap all the time?

Is it possible to estimate the amount of sleep he gets via his naps? If you add that to his nightly sleep it might just be that he really needs more like 9-10 hours a night and is making up the rest of the time during the day?

Does your DH sleep in bed with you? Do you know for sure he is in bed and attempting to sleep all night? I ask this as I had a similar experience and my DH was always making excuses to sleep in the spare room for 'a better night sleep' but was actually doing other things. For years I thought he had a sleep problem!

Sounds like caffeine overload. Caffeine can sometimes prevent certain vitamins and iron absorption.

Haha sounds like me

Just over Christmas I've noticed a tendency to sleep far longer than normal.

I always find getting into a lazy, easy routine makes me far more tired than being active and busy.

Could it be an extreme/learned version of that, given his family are the same?

Spoke to him about it, he's not interested.

He does take any opportunity to sleep on the sofa for a 'good night sleep'

Personally I think reducing his caffeine would do good, and going to bed a bit earlier and drinking less alcohol (a couple probably 5 nights a week) but he won't listen. So annoying.

A couple five nights a week is a drink problem if he can't/wont stop tbh.

Caffeine prevents you from getting proper healing sleep, so he's chronically sleep deprived. That's all I expect.

Honestly I think hes up to something at night. The 'sleep on the sofa for a good night sleep' is key I think. No-one should be that tired and what's wrong with your bed?
My DH made every excuse - bed too hard, pillows causing allergies, sore shoulder, didn't want to wake me up blah blah blah.

I am a napper and sleep well at night. Some people need more sleep than others!

alcohol mixed with sleep apnea would certainly fit. And the caffeine just wouldnt be helping either

He's not just 'taking a nap' though. OP said he is falling asleep 'everywhere' unable to function basically.

Does he have an alcohol problem?

A couple of beers a night five nights a week is quite a lot, and he's got an hour long commute the next morning... if he doesn't drink for a few weeks, is it better? He'd probably need less caffeine then, as the alcohol wouldn't be affecting his sleep, and then he wouldn't be crashing.

Oh so he "sleeps" on.the sofa.

Bingo. Hes gaming. Or gambling. Or watching porn or something.

Turn wifi off and see if it's been put back on by morning

I literally could have written your post.

I’ve read the replies- it’s definitely not narcolepsy. We know someone with this and it’s like they can be at work then suddenly drop to the floor asleep.

Sleep apnea is likely.

But what I believe is the coffee.
If you can persuade your DH to have no coffee for one whole month as a test I bet you will find a difference.

He doesn't gamble, or game, not technologically savvy at all. We don't have a gaming pc or console.

Porn seems unlikely to me but you never know.

All you need is a smart phone for poker candy crush etc all sorts of games people spend hours on..

Is there a chance hes using drugs? I honestly could have written your post and for me it was drugs alcohol and porn (an escape from depression when everyone else was asleep)
Of course it could just be sleep apnea or something but the fact he sleeps on the sofa is suspicious to me.

When you say he is "not interested", do you mean he does not care at all about the impact this has on your daily life with him? Tell him he is being selfish not to go and see a doctor

Tell him he is being selfish not to go and see a doctor

A dr will probably just tell him to cut out coffee alcohol and actually go bed at night..all things he doesn't want to do.

If he thought there was actually a medical.Issue hed go

I was a very fit 35 year old when I first started falling asleep everywhere. The problem is that my GP never diagnosed me or sent me to any specialists for 7 years, by which time my weight had increased by around 5 stone and I was in a virtual comatose state.
I had a sleep study done and it showed that I was stopping breathing 68 times every hour, which is extremely serious sleep apnoea.
I have used CPAP for 18 years, so the problem is in the past, but it has left a couple of serious side effects - high blood pressure and an enlarged left ventricle in my heart.
It sounds to me the OP's DH needs to visit his GP.