Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To de-friend on FBook ?

39 replies

Birdgirl67 · 31/12/2019 01:00

Long story short- fell out with friend A (her doing, her nastiness, her untrue accusations). We were both friends with B & C who live very close to A but not near me. Met up with B & C after the fall out, they were fine with me. They then refused to meet up with me again as it was too complicated due to A. But they still met up with A, but not with me. It suggested they had sided with A. I didnt expect them not to see A after the fall out and told them that.
2 years down the line I have not seen or heard from B or C and have no plans to see them. Would IBU to defriend on fbook? What's the point of being friends on fbook ? They had already said 2 years ago that it was best if we didn't meet up for a while because of the fallout (but they were happy to meet with A still) at which point I decided they cant decide to not see me but in 6 months time it would be ok. I'm.angry at them and want them to know it I guess. AIBU ?

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 31/12/2019 01:03

OMG who gives a tiny mouse-sized fart, seriously?

You are (presumably) a grown adult and you're asking the internet if it's ok to remove some people you haven't see for years from a friend list on a website?

Cop yourself on and just do it.

Original poster
Birdgirl67 · 31/12/2019 01:06

I think defriending is a big statement to make. Nothing bad was said between me and B & C but defriending would be like saying a massive FUCK OFF to them both

OP posts:
ilovesooty · 31/12/2019 01:06

Just reading that made my head hurt.

Just do what you like. How are we supposed to know?

ProfessionalBoss · 31/12/2019 01:07

You're not being unreasonable for not wanting to keep them on your Facebook, however, you said that "I'm.angry at them and want them to know it I guess." and I'm sorry, but with Facebook alga rhythms, they might not even notice you're no longer a "friend"

ilovesooty · 31/12/2019 01:08

If you feel that strongly about it wouldn't it be more effective to talk to them? Or is that too radical?

Butchyrestingface · 31/12/2019 01:09

but defriending would be like saying a massive FUCK OFF to them both

Surely nowhere near as big a fuck off as no contact for 2 years?

wildcherries · 31/12/2019 01:10

I don't understand the angst with FB defriending in general. If I haven't heard or interacted with a contact in six months on there, I remove them. Maybe I'm just a cold bitch.

Original poster
Birdgirl67 · 31/12/2019 01:10

True @ProfessionalBoss - I blocked them from my future posts anyways so as far as they are concerned it looks like I never post any updates.

It just feels so final ...

OP posts:
LittleBearPad · 31/12/2019 01:11

Given you haven’t spoken for two years I doubt they’ll care

Apostrophied · 31/12/2019 01:16

I'd say nobody will care. It's been two years, they may not even notice.

ineedaholiday11 · 31/12/2019 01:36

If they genuinely valued you as a true friend they wouldn't have treated you as they have. Sorry to be brutal but you're not friends. Just block them and move on. At leat them you can move on too.

ineedaholiday11 · 31/12/2019 01:36

*least then

1foot2feet · 31/12/2019 01:39

It's not that deep. Remove anyone who makes you feel crap, it's only social media. Block them then they'll only think you've deleted Facebook if you're stressing about it

Hellbentwellwent · 31/12/2019 01:44

Jesus, that’s 2 minutes of my life I’ll never get back. Who gives a fuck? It’s been 2 years, why do you even care. Go drink a gin and have a shag, there’s more to life than obsessing over fecking Facebook etiquette

UtuNorantiPralatongsThirdEye · 31/12/2019 01:44

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

user764329056 · 31/12/2019 01:44

This is playground rubbish

IHaveBrilloHair · 31/12/2019 01:46

Omg, really?

katy1213 · 31/12/2019 02:00

A big statement???? Maybe you should take out a full-page ad in The Times.

Sparklesocks · 31/12/2019 02:02

Do whatever you like, it’s your social media.

Kjled · 31/12/2019 15:00

I understand, people saying it’s childish and it doesn’t matter is quite mean as it does to some people. Similar to you I fell out with someone ( horrible nasty person) a mutual friend we had deleted me off Facebook. I was really upset by it as it made me realise she obviously wasn’t as good a friend as I thought.
I would say do it if they’ve made no effort to speak to you for so long.

midnightmisssuki · 31/12/2019 15:10

They won't care - 2 years they've ignored you. Do what you like.

YourOpinionIsNoted · 31/12/2019 15:16

Everything Worra said, but especially the mouse fart GrinGrinGrin

Tombliwho · 31/12/2019 15:20

Will they even notice after 2 years?! If I hadn't seen a post from someone or spoken to them for 2 years it would probably take me another 2 years to notice being unfriended.
Are you hoping you'll spark a reaction by unfriending them..?

thickwoollytights · 31/12/2019 15:21

It matters to you OP and I do understand because it is a huge statement to make for many/some people

I generally shove people (I'm not too keen on but don't want to upset) into restricted

However I have unfriended a few who I just don't want anything to do with. I've thought about it carefully beforehand to be sure it's right for me

Very very few I actually block. That's generally because of their horrendous (imo) political views

So if you want to make the statement - unfriend

selmabear · 31/12/2019 15:28

Just unfriend them OP. You're wroking yourself up over nothing.