To be worried that my body will never be the same again?

[HighOnStilts]

I'm 25 years old, 28+1 weeks pregnant with my first. I struggled with my weight in my early teens, weighed about 13 stone at my heaviest when I was around 16/17. I went on a crash diet and lost a lot of weight, before I got pregnant I was weighing around 10 stone. It's only hit me recently that my body is never going to be the same after having baby. My OH loves me and my body and has reassured me he wont think any differently after I've had baby, but I can't help but feel like I'm going to feel really shit about myself. My body is doing an amazing thing right now and I am so in awe at my bump. I'm also incredibly scared about tearing if I have a vaginal delivery, and if I will look 'different' down there. We're getting married in 2021 and I know my weight will be at the forefront of my mind until that point, I still need to buy my wedding dress but hoping that will be motivation for me to lose any baby weight I might have.
Apologies for the long post! X

I gave birth not too long ago with my first dc. Just like yourself I was scared of tearing as well. In my case I had to be cut as I wasn't going past 5cm. After I healed, (took about a week or two) I still felt a bit weird but after some more time I feel normal again

@mumofone94 thank you for your honesty lovely, I guess I'll have to accept that I will likely tear if I opt for vaginal delivery and it's just one of those things. Think I'm more scared of the pain and healing time above anything else.

@HighOnStilts I didn't know I'd torn until the nurse told me she needed to stitch me, if that helps x

Oh yeah, I was terrified of the pain but when I was actually having my baby and I tore it honestly did not hurt. I don't know why but it really didn't. They have me gas and air when they were stitching me up but even that didn't hurt and I just had it for the lols. My bits were a bit swollen and looked really different for a week or two, but I was quite happily sitting and getting on with things soon after childbirth. I'm surprised by how quickly it all bounced back.

I look better. No stretch marks during pregnancy, boobs went up a cup size after three years total of breastfeeding, back to a size 8 within a couple of months of both births, two easy vaginal births with no tearing, and I have a six pack from lifting weights.

However—and this is a big however—I developed an autoimmune disease after having my first baby, likely from the huge hormonal shift. So yes, your body does change, and in ways which you might not foresee. I’d still go back and do it all again, though!

There is nothing negative about a woman who has had a baby looking as though she's had a baby. Being back in your pre-pregnancy jeans after 5 days is something that a small number of women experience, whereas some women find that their shape is permanently changed. Some women won't get stretch marks, whereas some will be covered in them. There's no reason to particularly celebrate a woman retaining her pre-pregnancy physique after having children, because that's not "better" than simply looking like you've had a baby. Women's bodies change throughout their lives, and some of these changes can be due to pregnancy, childbirth and breastfeeding. It makes me really sad that so many women mourn their flat bellies and hate their stretch marks. We are conditioned to believe these things are unattractive, when in actual fact stretch marks and a belly pooch are very natural and normal consequences of reproducing. As long as you are healthy and happy, that's all that matters.

That's definitely a little less worrying to hear that ladies!!! 😅
Seems you got pretty lucky with having minimal pain. I know I probably wont give a crap what's going on down there once they put baby on me lol!

@WhatsInAName19 I am completely with you on this one. Don't get me wrong, I'm not going to be fixated on wanting to lose baby weight as soon as she's out, I'll have far more important priorities at that point, but I sometimes go through phases of an overwhelming sadness of 'well this is it, my body is changed for good, will my OH still be attracted to me etc etc' I don't feel like it often but when I do, I have to sit back and contemplate it for a little while then tell myself I'm being silly and that my body is doing an amazing job right now.