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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I didn't think you'd be a "crunchy mummy"

149 replies

Sparrowlegs248 · 30/12/2019 23:03

Said to me. The reasons they think I'm a "crunchy" mum (whatever the fuck that means). I breastfed both children, with a few days gap in between, for a total of 4.5 yrs. I used a sling. I co slept with both, often still do with the younger (almost 3 yr old). I bake with them sometimes Hmm

Reasons I wasn't expected to be "crunchy" I wear "normal" clothes, wear make up, have tidy hair (sometimes) and go to work!!!

I'm a bit perplexed by this, from someone who I thought knew me quite well!

OP posts:
calmama · 30/12/2019 23:29

Guess I’m a crunchy mum too then.

What do you think her motive for saying this was?

I’ve had friends make some very condescending comments to me about my parenting. Wonder if it is because I was never interested in children before I had mine whereas they were always very clucky types. Yet I’m the “crunchiest” of them all, apparently. Seems to tickle a couple of them.

PineappleDanish · 30/12/2019 23:30

It's the sling.

When I had my third I had one of those stretchy wrap carriers for purely practical reasons, I had both hands free to hold onto the other two. At the school gates I was definitely crunchy mum among the others with their designer pushchairs.

Ronnie27 · 30/12/2019 23:30

I’m as far from hippy as you can get and I breastfed and coslept and used a sling. They’re just normal now surely?

AnneLovesGilbert · 30/12/2019 23:31

Just own it OP Grin

Nowt wrong with lentil weaving, my vegetarian breast fed baby loves gnawing on an organic woven lentil.

Original poster
Sparrowlegs248 · 30/12/2019 23:31

@BecauseReasons 6 I think, but I do have a chicken......

OP posts:
WontonsMower · 30/12/2019 23:32

I always suspected I might be a crunchy mummy - wanted to have reusable nappies, babywear, breastfeed etc...

In the end my back/shoulders couldn't take much sling wearing (yes, yes, I might've been doing it wrong but I needed to carry food shopping all the time too), reusable nappies didn't work out for my constantly pooing DS1, and although I breastfed both kids, DS1 self-weaned before age 1!

I've only had them sleep in my bed about twice as well and I'm quite glad of that (although it is lovely when they actually SLEEP with you rather than elbow/kick you)...

chocolateisavegetable · 30/12/2019 23:33

YABVU - I want a crunchie now

WontonsMower · 30/12/2019 23:34

I did make my own hoummous once though! For my PFB.
Second child got whatever I found at Tesco Grin

Original poster
Sparrowlegs248 · 30/12/2019 23:34

@calmama no idea on the motive. I think you're right though, no real interest in children, other than my own. People were shocked when I had babies.

The DC were getting absolutely filthy at the time they were suitably clothed in wellies and waterproofs, and I do bath them. I just let them.get on with it, we live rurally. The other persons dc were beautifully dressed and spotless.

OP posts:
AnneLovesGilbert · 30/12/2019 23:36

What gives me at least a weekly chuckle is how crunchy my husband has got. He was always the concrete and technology loving urbanite and gently mocked my bare footed festival going quinoa chomping ways but the baby has made him come over very woollen/wooden toys and organic avo and sling wearing appreciating Grin

thepeopleversuswork · 30/12/2019 23:39

I don’t think it’s meant to be derogatory: if anything I think it was coined as a badge of honour for a certain sort of hippy mum.

I personally find it a bit cringeworthy because I think anyone who ascribes an adjective consciously to their “parenting style” should get over themselves.

But it’s certainly not an insult.

If anything your friend is probably slightly jealous.

Original poster
Sparrowlegs248 · 30/12/2019 23:40

@thepeopleversuswork my friend definitely thinks it's an insult. Grin

OP posts:
JockTamsonsBairns · 30/12/2019 23:41

Someone told DD she was a visco girl , on the strength of her not wearing drag queen Instagram makeup.
Sorry, what does this mean? I'm not following.

thepeopleversuswork · 30/12/2019 23:43

Nottalotta in that case she’s being a dick and is best ignored.

carbo · 30/12/2019 23:46

Don't you have to wear Birkenstock's to be a crunchy mum?

EineReiseDurchDieZeit · 30/12/2019 23:48

VCSO girl is this new weird description/insult for the kind of teen that doesn't wear much makeup, studies, has hobbies like photography and horseriding and is environmentally conscious and likes certain brands that are less mainstream.

Aka a new way of dismissing girls like me who got called "swots" back in the day but image based.

BaronessBomburst · 30/12/2019 23:50

This is hilarious.
I don't even get past 1 on that scale, but co-slept, and BF until 4. DS eats vegetarian food most of the time, loves quinoa and lentils. We discuss environmental issues, recycle everything, walk everywhere, but also game together.
Work that one out...... Grin

thepeopleversuswork · 30/12/2019 23:51

EineReise that’s really depressing. It’s like the past 50 years of progress never happened.

calmama · 30/12/2019 23:55

Nottalotta My son is always a hot mess whereas theirs aren’t too. But he’s also outdoors more and energetic so it makes sense that he would get dirtier. Like you I also bake with him (and he gets filthy doing just this) and have been told a few times “Baking! I work so I don’t have time for that!” Err... yes, I work too. 🤷🏻‍♀️

AnneLovesGilbert · 31/12/2019 00:06

Don't you have to wear Birkenstock's to be a crunchy mum?

Are you allowed nail varnish?

ferntwist · 31/12/2019 00:07

You sound like the perfect momma! If that’s crunchy, then crunchy is great.

Weffiepops · 31/12/2019 00:09

You sound a lot like me! Do they mean 'crusty! As in hippy.

YappityYapYap · 31/12/2019 00:14

I've never heard the term and wouldn't say I'm a crunchy mum in any way really but most of the mums at my son's playgroup are and they're really nice! I think crunchy mums are less bitchy because guess what? They're more focussed on their children than themselves! Breastfeeding? Good! Sling? Good! Vegetables? Great! I do have messy hair at times though so maybe I'm like a snack size crunchy mum!

NearlyGranny · 31/12/2019 00:20

Don't judge people just love generating labels and sticking them on bemused recipients?!

I would suggest that if labelling is the activity that brings them joy, they should go home and start on their sock drawer and leave other people to live their own lives peacefully unlabelled!

Josette77 · 31/12/2019 00:21

I'm in North America and crunchy means hippy. I've never heard crusty to describe hippies. I am a crunchy mum and have no problem with it. Maybe because people thought you weren't going to have children or interested in children they are surprised by the change in you?