AIBU being annoyed my partner doesn't think I'm fit enough to come camping / hiking

[Sapphire19]

My partner is very outdoorsy and is into mountains, hills and camping. He hinted he thought I would be too overweight and unfit to keep up with him. Am I being unreasonable being annoyed by this. Lots of overweight people go camping!!

There's a huge difference between serious hiking in remote mountains and wild camping in wilderness, versus visiting a nice little campsite in Devon for the weekend and going for a stroll down a country lane.

Which is it? If the latter, YANBU. If the former, YABU - hiking and camping in remote areas requires very high levels of fitness and you need to know your limits. It's not something to jump into feet first; getting stuck up a mountain because you're injured or too tired and you can't get back down is no joke.

If he’s into hiking up mountains regularly and you’re not then you probably won’t keep up with him regardless of weight. Though being overweight might well slow you down.

However he should be prepared to walk at your pace and should be happy you want to do stuff with him. Dh runs ultra mountain marathons but if we go hiking together he would walk at my pace.

I'm thinking of easing myself into it while getting fitter. Eg long days out and hikes but not major mountain climbing or wild camping til I'm more fit.
Im a size 12 and about 5'10 but kinda unfit and working on it

We went to Derbyshire on our holiday in the summer. We have a dog and we were looking forward to lots of long walks amidst stunning scenery. Even the gentlest of hills nearly killed me. The slightest incline is bloody hard work over distance. And I’m not that overweight.

Im a size 12 and about 5'10 but kinda unfit and working on it

So he's right then?

Sorry, I didn't mean about being overweight (I have no idea how much you weigh obviously), I meant about being unfit.

I would think 'thank God for that' and sit in my nice warm house while he goes hiking about the countryside.

You’re hardly overweight, unfit possibly.

Bunnybigears
Hahahha sounds wonderful

WorraLiberty
I was hoping to get fit by hiking and walking with him tbh

If you're unfit then you're unfit. That's not a criticism - I'm too unfit to do mountain hiking at the moment myself.

He sounds like he knows what he's about and depending on how extreme he likes to go it can be a risky activity; personally I'd be inclined to listen to the more experienced party and play it safe.

Go with him and you will see if he is right!
It's good that you aren't put off though - enjoy some long walks and you will rapidly get more fit anyway

He could do hikes that built your fitness instead of being a prick. My DH runs incredibly slowly so I can run with him

You don't need to be fit to go camping. As for the hiking, it depends what he has in mind. If he's planning massive long yomps up mountains, you'll probably find that pretty if you really are unfit. But if walking is something he hopes to be able to enjoy with you in the future, then he needs to get you to start going with him so you can start to get fitter.

So he is a twat in the car with you and thinks you’re too fat to go hiking?

And you’re ignoring everyone who told you on another thread that he’s emotionally abusing you. You’re probably going to ignore my post too, but here goes - why are you with him again?

If he’s into it then presumably he likes to go fast. I’ve climbed mountain ranges, I won’t lie, I can’t keep up with the outdoorsy folk either (but they’re usually really boring walking companions so I can’t say I mind).

It sounds like your partner knows your fitness level
and he wants to experience something beyond your capabilities.

Could you compromise? I’m a hill walker but when I go in walking holidays I like to have one day on followed by one day off. So a big hike day followed by a leisurely stroll day, followed by another big walk day etc. Perhaps you could do the leisurely stroll days together and let him get on with his big hike days (you could plan and map out some shorter walks to do by yourself on his big hike days).

Nah, you see the secret is just to go camping alone. Seriously. It's fantastic. I take a small fluffy dog for company and warmth, good books and a lot of chocolate, and leave everyone else at home. And I'm disabled, can't hike and I'll swear I'm way less fit than you are, and I can get a tent up and down alone and have a wonderful time doing it!

So it sounds like he may be right about your fitness levels at the moment then? No shame in that at all. If it's something you would like to start doing, he should support you by going on hikes suitable for beginners as you build your fitness.

Even if you are as fat as the tent, doesn't mean you can't go camping (just buy another tent for everyone else! ) As for the hiking, I love it and my husband loves it more (with climbing, bouldering and river crossing etc, thrown in) but super dodgy knees mean I can't do the rough stuff now. Husband quite happy to take himself off one day and likes researching a flattish route for us the next day. Works for us. He'd do the same even if it was simply a case of me being unfit.

I was hoping to get fit by hiking and walking with him tbh

But wouldn't that hold him back?

Could you suggest a couple of trips with you and then that he does his normal trip with whoever else he hikes with?

Might be a compromise.

I am reasonably fit, but trecking with all my camping equipment on my back would be a bit much for me. My grand-mother could easily manage to derol a sleeping van and grab a pillow for a night in a caravan.

Depends what is involved, I would discuss the exact details with him before being annoyed.

Two threads in one night about your "partner"?
Are you not worried about this thread to? Since you got the last deleted in case it was too outing?

Reported for bridge dwelling