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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Neighbours with sensitive hearing

33 replies

Fitlarwa · 30/12/2019 19:55

I've posted a while ago about my neighbours. Apparently they've got a problem with the volume of my TV.
On one side I've got neighbours with small kids and they all go sleep early and all got naps during the day as kids wake up at night and cry for long hours.
The other side neighbours work from home and need total silence.
The walls are paper thin. We can hear kids crying or sneezing. We also hear their TV.
We never do parties and rarely watch TV after 11pm.
If I reduce the volume of my TV I won't hear it!
Do I really need to keep silent because others work from home or go sleep on Saturday at 4pm?
Who's being unreasonable?
Neighbours don't want to hear about any soundproofing of their wall or working wearing headphones.
They demand from me to do something.
On one occasion the police was here and while sitting on my sofa they could hear neighbours bass yet when went to their house couldn't hear my TV even when I put it louder that usually.

When I hear my neighbours TV or kids crying I simply switch radio or TV and then don't focus on their noise.

Anyways, please tell me am I being unreasonable by not wanting to reduce the volume? It would make everyone happy except of me as I wouldn't be able to hear my TV, watch movies, news etc

OP posts:
HappyHammy · 30/12/2019 19:59

They can ask environmental health to visit their house to evaluate any noise. I wouldnt engage with them, let them think of a solution.

ProfessionalBoss · 30/12/2019 20:03

If they want absolute silence they should by a detached house in the countryside. You watching tv, putting the washing machine on, running a bath, in other words living in your house is what most people deem to be reasonable behaviour. It's expected that you will not make an excessive amount of noise during unreasonable hours, but outside of those, crack on and live your life!

Aderyn19 · 30/12/2019 20:05

If they want silence, they need to invest in soundproofing. I'd tell them to fuck off, after they called the police.

HoHoHoik · 30/12/2019 20:06

Normal, reasonable living noises between the hours of 7am and 11pm aren't something I would sorry about. If they were complaining about loud television outside of these hours then they'd have a point but wanting absolute silence during the working day? They're taking the piss.

Biscuitsandteaplease · 30/12/2019 20:07

YANBU in my opinion - they need to learn to deal with the disruption the same way you do, it sounds like it's just part and parcel of living where you are. My DM lives in a very similar way and too puts up with the same noise you describe and has coping mechanisms too.

They sound like they are bullying you because they think they can. Don't let them tell you how to live your life to the nth degree when you are clearly being a respectful neighbour.

If they don't like it, they can always move! Carry on as you are OP Thanks

Emmelina · 30/12/2019 20:08

The walls are thin, you can probably hear every little sniffle they make too. Homes are for living in. We had one of the neighbours round all the time because one of our stairs (along an adjoining wall)creaked when we went up or down. A. Stair. Creaked.
Why should you live with subtitles in your own home just to appease them?

YANBU, at all.

Original poster
Fitlarwa · 30/12/2019 20:08

Thank you for responding.
I've asked my neighbours to seek some help from independent party such as vouncil, they've said that no one will listen to them as it's private housing.
I had to inform community officer as I was preparing for my breast reconstruction surgery and didn't want my neighbours to bang my door anymore.
Police came and asked them to stop. They've stopped but the other neighbour started to bang the wall instead!
I was badly told off for plying Christmas Carols on 24th at 2.30pm because they couldn't focus on their work!
I shall mention that it was a transmission from a church and not Maria Carey songs

I feel so hopeless! Recovering from my surgery but can't relax at home as all I think of is if my TV is heard!

OP posts:
mrsbyers · 30/12/2019 20:23

Why don’t you invest in some cordless headphones ?

HideYourBabiesAndYourBeadwork · 30/12/2019 20:34

You’ve come up with a solution already. You turned down the volume of your tv but made sure you could still actually hear it. That’s completely fair. It’s their turn to come up with another solution from their side.

Tbh though, if they can’t work with the reasonable, everyday noises from other houses they’re not cut out for working from home and that’s their problem. I’d not engage with them anymore and just get on with doing your own thing (as long as it’s reasonable which it sounds like it is).

Original poster
Fitlarwa · 30/12/2019 20:36

@mrsbyers I don't think my husband and son would enjoy wearing headphones to be able to enjoy TV.
I deeply believe that whatever solution is needed all neighbours involved should cooperate and look for things they can do from their side.
Them being rude and demanding really hurts my family

OP posts:
Original poster
Fitlarwa · 30/12/2019 20:40

@HideYourBabiesAndYourBeadworkHideYourBabiesAndYourBeadwork if I reduce the volume all what I will be left with will be subtitles :-)
Both neighbours are friends and one of them were nasty with us before because they don't like the fact that were from the EU. So in past we had them not really liking us. Now they befriended other neighbours and both have a go at us

OP posts:
HappyHammy · 30/12/2019 20:53

I would start recording any conversations you have with them and reporting the banging on your door. They can look, up Gov.Uk site called noise from neighbours and call them.

MsPepperPotts · 30/12/2019 20:54

You have probably 4 options

  1. wear wireless headphones

  2. Turn TV down

  3. Reposition TV to another wall away from neighbours

  4. Sound proof the wall between neighbours(book cases can be a temporary solution with foam on the back to deaden the noise)

BonnyConnie · 30/12/2019 20:56

Surely your tv is just on too loudly. I can’t even hear DH watching tv in the next room let alone neighbours (assuming they have one, I wouldn’t know).

Tombliwho · 30/12/2019 20:59

I hate people like this. They think the world revolves around them and whilst any normal day time noise bothers them, they are entitled to make all the noise they want.
My neighbour is very picky about noise like kids in the garden or the other neighbours having bqq's in summer because it might wake his precious first born but his dog barking relentlessly is acceptable.
Just ignore! They are welcome to get environmental health involved but I doubt they'll get anywhere.

StoneofDestiny · 30/12/2019 21:01

Your neighbours have 3 probably options

  1. wear wireless headphones

  2. Reposition their work/sleep areas to another wall away from you

  3. Sound proof their wall between you (book cases can be a temporary solution with foam on the back to deaden the noise)

WineGumsandDaisies · 30/12/2019 21:02

YANBU.

They sound like they’re bullying you. Keep a record of banging on the walls (and why - such as the volume your tv was at) and anything they say, then report again. You cannot expect to live like this. It is not up to your neighbours to dictate how you live. Sadly many new homes have paper thin walls and frankly, if your neighbours don’t like it, then they can always find somewhere else to live.

I’ve worked from home before, my DH occasionally does and so does my neighbour. General everyday noise really isn’t a problem and they need to find a solution to their wfh situation - like a proper home office in the garden or something.

I hope you find a solution OP

StoneofDestiny · 30/12/2019 21:03

I'll try that again! 😃

Your neighbours have probably 4 options

  1. wear wireless headphones
  2. stop being dicks
  3. Reposition their work/sleep areas to another wall away from you
  4. Sound proof their wall between you (book cases can be a temporary solution with foam on the back to deaden the noise)
MulticolourMophead · 30/12/2019 21:06

BonnyConnie what makes you think the OP has her tv on too loud when the police went next door and heard nothing?

LemonPrism · 30/12/2019 21:12

@BonnyConnie clearly you don't have thin walls then - in a Victorian I once lived in I could hear my neighbours quiet bedtime conversations word for word with crystal clarity

Emmelina · 30/12/2019 21:20

You say you are from the EU and have had problems from them around that in the past?
They might just be being dicks because they’re racist. Worth mentioning that bit of history to police if they do keep on at you, because racism is a hate crime.

BonnyConnie · 30/12/2019 21:26

@LemonPrism really? That’s horrible! Our property is a bit older and we can barely hear each other shout between the walls (I’m pretty sure the sound actually comes through the windows rather than the walls). I think we’ll just never move if that’s what we might end up with Shock

MsPepperPotts · 30/12/2019 21:42

I agree with you @StoneofDestiny that the neighbours could do these things but the chances of these bullies doing this and leaving the OP alone to enjoy her life are pretty slim.

It would be less stressful for her to sort out the problem from her side then she can hopefully get some sort of peace and quiet in her life which is all she wants.

newbingepisodes · 30/12/2019 21:44

If you have an iPhone, the new update measures background noise levels in dB so you can keep a record.

StoneofDestiny · 30/12/2019 21:51

MSPepperPotts
I imagine OP could do all the soundproofing they want and the neighbours would still complain - no sure noise is the issue with them given what OP has said

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