To have upset DS

[2020herenearly]

Ds has a Thing about accents and asks people where they are from.

Was it unreasonable of me to tell him to stop it (he thinks I am) or not

As others have saud it really depends how he asks and then what he does with that information. I get comments on my accent - fine when people are just curious or recognise the accent.
Not fine when I'm mocked for having a northern accent..

And how is Manchester fake north??

I’m very northern (as in Cumbria - not Manchester which is fake north)

I think anyone from Scotland thinks anywhere in the north of England is a 'fake north'.

I get asked a lot, people wrongly think I'm from Merseyside. It happens when you live somewhere with a strong regional accent of their own. Doesn't offend me, but then again I'm not foreign so dont expect any negativity. I was once out with my Dutch friend at a pub, when they went over to the bar the bloke next to me ask 'your mate, they ain't German are they?', when I replied not, they said 'ah, good'. Like the fuck it matters .

Asking about it is fine. Making a fuss about it is not. Like the "ooooh I just CAN'T understand what you're saying!!!" or my personal favourite "Say something Scottish!!!" What the fuck does that mean?

If it's said with genuine interest and curiosity I don't really mind. I'm a linguist myself and fascinated by accents and dialects, so have asked people before, but generally only if I'm already talking to them and along the lines of "I hope you don't mind me asking, but where is your accent from - I'm really interested in accents". I guess I do it less often now that I can place UK accents better, but I have asked in the past.

I'm foreign but pretty much bilingual so people don't always realise I'm not British, but sometimes I might pronounce a word differently and say "ah, I can never pronounce this one". That's when some people might ask where I'm from, which I don't have an issue with. What I don't like is when they realise I'm foreign, they change and get a bit awkward. That's been happening recently, but I'm putting it down to politics.

Are you talking about regional accents or accents from other countries or both? I can't imagine anyone would be the least bit offended by being asked where their regional accent was from.

You need to give us more details on what the problem is

I get asked all the time about my accent, I had a real proper Northern Irish accent which has morphed into quite a unique accent since I’ve been living in London. It doesn’t bother me if people are just interested in it or where I’m from, it would only bothers me if they go on to mock it although I’ve only had this happen with friends in which case is actually funny seeing them trying to attemp it.

It's not offensive, but it is pretty tedious, having to explain myself all the time.

I don't really mind but it gets tedious.
DH is experiencing this for the first time where we now live and it drives him nuts.
I'm much more inured so let it wash over me more.

I would never ask someone who I was just buying something from as I get so fed up with it. I'm English but love in the US and I can't even go to buy milk without being told they love agent and how long have I loved here etc. I can cope with going to about 5 shops before I am fed up. I know they mean well, but I'd rather talk about the weather if they want to make small talk.
If I'm actually meeting someone properly and talking to them that's OK. I just wish people didn't home in in the accent as if I'm some kind of curiosity. I love in quite a big international city so not like I'm the only person with an accent.
No one would say,"I love your big nose, where's that from?" So why is it OK to mention my accent?

@KickAssAngel DH is English and living in the USA too!
He also gets lots of comments as do dc, I get less with my Scottish accent. I think my accent is more just generally foreign.
He just isn't used to commenting were as as a Scot in England I had a lot of it.

If he’s mocking the accent then YANBU if he’s just making small polite chit chat then yabu

chamenanged I just didn't want him to say "Northern Ireland". Turned out he was from Fermanagh and had a relative in Down, we had a conversation about the lovely countryside in Down.

It’s he getting negative responses? Or do you see it as a sort of personal remark?

I am from the North. Immigrant family so a mixture of accents

I have lived all over England and Wales.

The only time I have been asked about my accent is when it has been in a negative manner.

Very much a case of you don’t belong here. So whilst a lot of people might be comfortable with being asked your Ds might want to be mindful of upsetting someone who hasn’t had such a positive experience with being asked

DH gets asked a lot - he has one of those accents that people have when they didn’t learn English as a first Language, so it’s a bit posh English, a bit ‘american’ (but in the US people think he is ‘soooooo English’ and make a fuss of the accent).

Most people aren’t being horrible just nosey. Especially in Scotland where we are just really curious about people who are visiting or living there from abroad.

His favourite is ‘can you speak English’ or ‘your English is good’. Yeah, the English lit degree from a really good UK uni helps there...

Also ‘when did you get here?’ ‘About ten minutes ago - did you not see pull up the drive?’