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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask for advice on how to tackle my miserly boss on low salary and poor work benefits

43 replies

Dacquoise · 30/12/2019 09:29

Having turned my life around by getting out of an emotionally abusive marriage, away from my narcissistic family, winning a recent court case with my ex-husband and finding a lovely new partner I have one last thing to tackle and that is my job. Your advice would be greatly appreciated.

I have been in my current role for four years having returned to work from being a SAHM ten years ago. I started in minimum wage roles to get back into employment and have managed to double my salary since then. However, it has become clear that I am being underpaid in this job which is partly due to me not asking for a reasonable starting salary when I joined and expecting my employer to increase it once he saw that I could do the job well and competently. I found out recently the previous person in the role was on £8.50 an hour more than my current salary. Obviously they had a lot more service than me but the role has evolved and I am about to take on a lot more management responsibilities. I have also undertaken accreditation for my role.

I have had a couple of pay increases that only be described as miserly, barely inflation rises which I accepted as I was going through a tough court case with my ex-husband and really could not face another battle at the time. My employer has form for paying as little as possible, he pays the minimum in pension contributions, no sick pay, minimum holiday but has recently taken on a consultant who takes some of my work for three times my hourly rate. I am starting to feel quite exploited and know I need to stand up for myself in this so if anyone else has been in this position and managed to negotiate a decent pay rise, I would be very grateful for any tips/strategies. There has been no mention of pay rises this year and I am wondering if he offsetting the consultant's salary by not giving me and another colleague anything.

OP posts:
VivaLeBeaver · 30/12/2019 09:32

How does your salary compare for similar roles in other companies? Would you consider moving company/job hunting?

If not then find adverts for comparable jobs and show them to your boss.

Coffeeonadrip · 30/12/2019 09:33

Time for a new job. He clearly doesn't value your contribution and you're unlikely to change how he thinks and operates. Get your CV out there would be my advice.

BoxedWine · 30/12/2019 09:35

Research other options. Both for ammunition and to go elsewhere.

WaterSheep · 30/12/2019 09:36

The best way to get a payrise is by finding another job.

You could discuss the issue during an appraisal, especially if you're about to take on more management responsibilities. However, even if you manage to negotiate a pay increase it is very unlikely to be the equivalent of what you would be receiving elsewhere.

QueenOfTheFae · 30/12/2019 09:36

You'll be unlikely to get a pay rise in this current role, what is it you do, and are there many jobs out there? If there aren't many jobs then what skills do you nice have which could be transferable?

Original poster
Dacquoise · 30/12/2019 09:38

Thank you all for your swift replies. I have thought about going elsewhere but I think my age is against me. I am nearly mid fifties and feel a bit disadvantaged by this. I am kicking myself for going in so low in the first place.

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nestisflown · 30/12/2019 09:39

Apply eslswhere. Even if you get this payrise, do you really want to have a 3 year battle on your hands every time you get promoted and want your salary to reflect the changed role? He has form for being miserly, you know this, so time to leave. The job has served its purpose as you now have the experience you needed to get.

Original poster
Dacquoise · 30/12/2019 09:41

I work in property management so a mixture of managing renovations for the portfolio, managing our managing agents and we are able to self manage a section of the portfolio so the legal aspect like ASTs, deposits etc but also liaising with tenants for maintenance issues.

OP posts:
WaterSheep · 30/12/2019 09:41

I have thought about going elsewhere but I think my age is against me.

This is a self fulfilling prophecy. You think you can't, so you self sabotage by not even trying.

Original poster
Dacquoise · 30/12/2019 09:42

about to not able to

OP posts:
Original poster
Dacquoise · 30/12/2019 09:45

You are right @WaterSheep I need to grow a pair and tackle it. Been a tough couple of years but I am a resilient and competent person so will try to find something else.

OP posts:
NoIDontWatchLoveIsland · 30/12/2019 09:45

You have to be willing to leave. It is supply and demand, if they know you won't/can't leave, they don't need to and won't pay you more.

If your age means (however unfair this is) that you are not an attractive prospect to another employer you are sadly a bit stuck.

SapphosRock · 30/12/2019 09:46

Definitely apply for other jobs with higher salaries. Even if you decide not to accept an offer you can use it to negotiate a salary increase with current employer.

Be prepared to actually leave though!

Theoscargoesto · 30/12/2019 09:47

What a brilliant success story! You have really changed your life around and deserve huge credit. Rather than beating yourself up over the job, and accepting so little, could you reframe it? It served you well, you have worked hard and had some training, you have a good grounding in the skills you need to progress. However now seems to be the time to try the water elsewhere. I think a person of your age with your skills will be sought after, but what do you lose by trying a few applications? If you want to stay where you are, the best negotiation tactic is, I’ve been offered another job, one factor is the wage. I don’t want to leave so can we talk about my role and my pay going forward please? Best of luck!

NoIDontWatchLoveIsland · 30/12/2019 09:48

Too many people don't move and are underpaid, women especially. I like where I work for various reasons, and I have to threaten to leave every 2 or 3 years to get the payrises I deserve. Luckily I only had to go with a job offer elsewhere the first time, now they know i mean it so i can just find adverts for other roles as a way to demonstrate what the market will pay.

Mummy0ftwo12 · 30/12/2019 09:50

Does your company have an equal pay policy?

AmIAWeed · 30/12/2019 09:50

Consultants always get paid much higher, they have to pay their own tax and NI, tax returns, no sick, no holiday and no guarantee of work. As an employee you have security so do not use the consultant as a reason for the payrise

Look at roles being advertised nearby that are similar, do not try and compare a vacancy in one city with another.

Be honest with your boss, say you believe yourself capable of these roles as you are already doing the same. Could he pay similar to keep you from looking elsewhere.
If he refuses or gives reasons why you can't be paid that ask if there is a progression plan that can be put in place for you to work towards with clear monetary goals.
If that's refused you need to leave and do not be tempted to stay if they suddenly offer you more after you've got a job elsewhere

LBOCS2 · 30/12/2019 09:52

Speaking from experience, the problem with the industry you work in is that there's a very flat structure. Pay for the same role varies wildly depending upon how long you've been doing it and how accomplished you are. You could probably walk into a job paying what you're after now, with your extra experience, but I suspect you'll struggle to get your current employer to pay it. This will in all likelihood be the disparity between your salary and the person you replaced - and the irritating thing is that if he wants to replace you then he'll need to either train someone up on a low salary, or he'll have to pay the money he doesn't want to pay you to get someone experienced 🙄.

hazell42 · 30/12/2019 10:13

You can get paid more with this employer, but only if you are prepared to leave him.
Now is the ideal time. They have a plan for you. They want you in a more managerial role. They have laid the groundwork for this.
Now is the time to go in and say, ok we have had all the other discussions, now to my salary.
Make sure you can demonstrate what other companies are paying for similar roles as well as what your employer has paid people in the past.
You clearly have learned some great assertiveness skills. Time to put them to good use. I know people who have doubled their salary when they were able to demonstrate what they actually do to benefit the firm.
On the other hand, if they wont budge you need to be prepared to hand in your notice right then and there. They will not respect you otherwise and you will still be in this position in 5 years
I think you can do it.
Good luck

Original poster
Dacquoise · 30/12/2019 10:31

Thank you everyone for your advice. I did consider that the only leverage I have is to threaten to go elsewhere and think I need to really explore that in the new year. I have just had a quick look at jobs online and a job comparison site and looks like I am around £10k under the going median salary for the area (outer London). It does rather leave a bad taste in your mouth when you realise you are being underpaid and your employer probably realises it!

Unfortunately @Mummy0ftwo12 the company only consists of four of us, no HR and privately owned so no resources to access regarding equal pay policy. I can't really compare myself to the consultant's pay as he is involved in property development which the company is now investing in which I don't really touch. The owner doesn't really want to pay him to do my work but hasn't tackled him about it and I don't feel it's my job to police it.

Thank you @hazell42 and @Theoscargoesto I know I can do it, or at least try. My confidence is a bit low in this area for some reason although I have been through worse recently.

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turnaroundbrighteyes · 30/12/2019 10:44

If you're taking on new responsibilities then it makes it easier to say to your boss that IF you are to agree to do x, y and z your role needs to be reassessed to take into account the increase in responsibility.

Then it gives the perfect opportunity to do some research so that when he comes back with a miserly offer you can say, actually I've looked around and comparable salaries are £x then pop the evidence in front of him and wait for him to speak. If he tries to get out of it be prepared with something along the lines of obviously I enjoy working here, but for £x extra I'd be a fool not to put my family first and look elsewhere if your not willing to pay what I'm worh6!

FairytaleofButlins · 30/12/2019 10:52

partly due to me not asking for a reasonable starting salary when I joined and expecting my employer to increase it

there you go!
It's a business, not a charity, some companies are happy to pay the minimum wage because they don't need to pay more. Why should they really.

They don't have to pay you more frankly, what anyone else would do is look for another job. When you have a firm offer, you can always try to negotiate with your current employer see if he would up your rate and package. If he declines, you quit and you move on.

Threatening to quit until you have a better job is just childish and won't take you anywhere I am afraid.

stouffer · 30/12/2019 11:09

I wouldn’t bother threatening to quit, just quietly find something else and do it.

redwoodmazza · 30/12/2019 11:13

Look for a new job first. There may be nothing out there that appeals to you when you take into consideration travel etc.
If you find one, apply AND are successful, then you can present it to your current employer? If he really wants you to stay he won't have much option other than a pay rise.
Good luck.

Original poster
Dacquoise · 30/12/2019 11:14

Sorry didn't mean to suggest I would threaten to leave without another job to go to. I will try to get another job and use that as leverage, although to be honest, if something better came up I would probably just go. As someone said, he has form for being Scrooge which brings it's own stresses going forward!

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