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AIBU?

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Original poster

Wheelchair / buggy on bus

999 replies

MoonlightMistletoe · 29/12/2019 23:13

Today I had got the bus with my sister we both have children I had my toddler who was walking and my one year old who's only just started to walk who is still in a buggy, my sister has a 12week old baby who was also in a buggy.

We had got on the bus as you do and the next stop another parent got on with their buggy, a few stops later we stop and straight away a woman is screaming/shouting at the rear doors with her phone in our faces demanding we collapse our buggies, very angry , shouting at us with buggies and also at the driver. The driver is telling us to stay put due to her being aggressive and recording us. Someone on the bus was telling us to co operate with the woman who wanted to get a person on the bus who was in a wheelchair. We know disabled people are a priority and had absolutely not said we wouldn't put the buggies down, I was taking my sleeping one year out the buggy while this woman was still swearing and being nasty and recording us, I had given my baby to my sister to sit with my toddler and herself while I was about to take her baby out the pram then all of a sudden everyone made a "ohhhhhhh" gasp and the disabled man has fallen down the side of the curb and bus sideways in his wheelchair.

She then looses her absolute shit at us for her own mistakes being so caught up in recording us to make sure we move that the man is now probably injured.

AIBU to think all she had to do was say excuse me can we move the buggies so I can get the wheelchair on?

OP posts:
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5
LadyFlumpalot · 30/12/2019 21:13

Apologies if this has been asked...

If I get on the bus with my 2 DC and a pushchair and pay my fare, but have to leave the bus a stop later to make way for a wheelchair user, do I get a special ticket or something to show I've paid my fare or do I have to pay again? I didn't have much money when DC were young and having to pay twice for a bus journey would have been impossible some days!

Dubya · 30/12/2019 21:14

@LadyFlumpalot some places will stamp it, others won't, so it depends where you live really.

my2bundles · 30/12/2019 21:14

Well said underhisi , church try living the life of a parent to a child with disabilitys, with your attitude you wouldn't survive the first 10 minutes never mind the constant battles we face. Alongside raising our NT kids so just stop with the accusation that we have no compassion for new mums as it's frankly ignorant rubbish on your part.

Biancadelrioisback · 30/12/2019 21:16

@LadyFlumpalot I know the buses around here give you a special ticket for another bus.

LadyFlumpalot · 30/12/2019 21:19

Thank you, @Biancadelrioisback and @Dubya

MarshaBradyo · 30/12/2019 21:20

LadyF you can go to front and ask for a paper ticket to show you’ve paid

MorganKitten · 30/12/2019 21:21

@LadyFlumpalot ask for a transfer ticket

HoHoHoik · 30/12/2019 21:28

There are circumstances where a mother isn’t going to be able to fold her presents, or use a sling, or backpack her shopping, and where getting off the bus is going to cause her serious problems

But why should parents be forced into a position where they need to ask strangers to help them? What if nobody wants to help them?

On every single bus in this country there is a "stranger" who is paid to help passengers. They drive the bloody thing! If a parent didn't want to ask other passengers for help then they should ask the driver, whose job it is to assist them.

Ultimately, the only reason someone should be leaving the bus is if they choose to do so. Passive choice through complete refusal to ask for help is still a choice.

IcaMorgan · 30/12/2019 21:29

@LadyFlumpalot in London you would get a transfer ticket from the driver which would let you on the next bus free

doadeer · 30/12/2019 21:33

@IcaMorgan I'm pretty sure you can take unlimited buses in an hour and you only pay fare (1.50) once, it was introduced a year or so ago. So getting off isn't an issue

IcaMorgan · 30/12/2019 21:35

@doadeer now you can yes but if you are over the hour you will need a transfer ticket

Leighhalfpennysthigh · 30/12/2019 21:40

I don’t need buses. But some of the women who do are among the most vulnerable people in our society.

Err, not as vulnerable as an actual disabled person in a wheelchair.

Dustarr73 · 30/12/2019 21:52

@Mummyoflittledragon that doesnt give her the right to be abusive to the driver or other people.

The driver has a duty of care to people already on the bus,and according to the op she has form for this.

And if my family was being looked after by her,and they fell and injured themselves.Then shes the blame,no amount of excuses would cut it.

gingersausage · 30/12/2019 22:23

Jesus Christ, not one person has said that the “carer” was in the right to start ranting and raving @Dustarr73. The discussion has evolved and moved on though over the last almost 500 posts.

@LadyFlumpalot, although some of the angst on this thread is caused by “what would happen if a pushchair user had to get off to make room for a wheelchair” in practice, in my area I’ve never seen it happen. I’ve seen drivers ask people to shift their pushchairs over to the other side or to fold them up and I’ve had drivers refuse to let me on because the space was already full of pushchairs. I’ve never seen a driver force a mother and baby off the bus though.

ColaFreezePop · 30/12/2019 22:31

@gingersausage I have seen a parent with a buggy told to get off the bus for a wheelchair user this year. The bus driver made it clear they weren't going to move the bus unless they got off.

Unfortunately for the parent - who was a mum - the bus was reasonably full. However on the same route a different driver allowed the buggy user to block the aisle basically stop those at the front of the bus using the middle doors to exit.

This is in London.

Unfortunately in London on the same route you can have different styles and even sizes of bus.

The 2 buses I got on today only fitted one wheelchair user but on others you can fit two or three at a push.

ColaFreezePop · 30/12/2019 22:35

@Leighhalfpennysthigh and some wheelchair users are women.

I left this thread because it brought back memories of how some female wheelchair users have had to rely on the kindest of 3-5 strangers to get of trains due to the train companies not being able to get a ramp out.

Biancadelrioisback · 30/12/2019 22:37

@gingersausage
I'm sorry, this thread must be quite frustrating for you. People like me keep saying that they would definitely get off the bus to allow you access, but you yourself have never seen this in action. I hope you do, and I hope all of our words aren't empty.

Dustarr73 · 30/12/2019 22:43

@gingersausage this is not really a buggy versus wheelchair.Its about the carer actually because if she hadnt been so abusive,the wheelchair user would have got on the bus.And not fallen on the road.

And i realise its moved on,dont be so fucking snotty at me.

gingersausage · 30/12/2019 22:52

Thanks Bianca. I’m not massively distressed by the whole bus subject itself because, as I said earlier, 99.99% of people on here are decent. I’m actually fairly severely agoraphobic, so I only even attempt to go on the bus if it’s absolutely necessary. After my experience with the arsehole driver a couple of weeks ago, I probably won’t ever use a bus again. Unfortunately that means my husband has to waste his holiday days ferrying me to appointments :-/

What does upset and frustrate me is the feeling that I’m shouting into a void, trying to educate certain people who just don’t want to understand how bloody difficult it is to be disabled, and how much harder it is to attain what able-bodied people expect as their right.

1plus2equalstrouble · 30/12/2019 22:59

The reality is if you're on a bus with a pushchair, you risk having to get off. Because in real life people aren't going to put their babies bassinet or car seat on the floor of a busy bus where people can trip over them, and the people within easy reach won't necessary hold your baby as you try to collapse the base and stow it where there's no actual space, all whilst the driver is assisting the wheelchair user to get on so you have to be mindfulof the space needed for that and the bus pulling off before you're sorted. That's life.

gingersausage · 30/12/2019 23:05

What do you mean “whilst the driver is assisting the wheelchair user to get on” @1plus2equalstrouble? In my experience, drivers don’t “assist” wheelchair users. They put the ramp down, that’s all. I've never had any help or assistance at all on public transport :-/

1plus2equalstrouble · 30/12/2019 23:19

Yeah ginger that'd all I meant, they're manual ones so out of seat, ramp down, let person past, make sure no one else gets in, ramp up. Point being they're def not free to fold a pram or hold a baby.

HoHoHoik · 30/12/2019 23:53

Except the driver can and should be helping. This is from one our localmoperators conditions of carriage:

Our drivers and staff will take all reasonable steps to assist non-wheelchair users to vacate designated wheelchair spaces

AwakeAmbs · 31/12/2019 00:04

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

gingersausage · 31/12/2019 00:15

@AwakeAmbs I’m not going to say exactly what I think of you because it will get me banned. What I will say is you disgust me.

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