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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think my friend could have waited.

58 replies

Doggyperson · 29/12/2019 16:35

My friend has been having marriage problems for many years, her husband has suffered with ill health which has made him depressed and difficult to live with, friend often posts stuff about him on Facebook which some of us find very sad and disrespectful to him, as he was a lovely man.

Anyway she's decided to leave him and posted this on Facebook saying 'shes done her best but she believes her husband has mental health problems which need sorting' we were Hmm very unfair as her husband isn't on facebook so has no idea what she's putting. She also tagged her new fella in the post saying he's been her saviour since Autumn.

This morning she posted a selfie of herself and new fella saying ",my one true love" now surely out of respect to her husband she shouldn't have posted this and secondly if she's only been with him a few months it's too early to be saying he's her 'true love'

She's 56 and quite needy on Facebook, always after attention.
Aibu to think she could have waited for a few months before posting a selfie of her and new fella if only in respect of her husband who she's been married to for over 25 years.

OP posts:
Nifflernancy · 29/12/2019 16:38

Well yeah, sure, she doesn’t sound particularly nice... but I’m not sure what you’re after here? You don’t seem to like her very much (which is fair enough, neither would I by the description) but it’s really none of your business and I’m not sure what you’re asking advice about...

churchandstate · 29/12/2019 16:39

She could have done. But these are her relationships, so really not a lot to do with you.

ThreeAnkleBiters · 29/12/2019 16:40

YANBU, very disrespectful and to be honest I imagine most people reading it on Facebook will feel at best awkward and more likely very judgmental about her.

Cheesewine · 29/12/2019 16:40

Your NBU no.. and I don't think anyone will disagree.... But maybe time to delete her from FB. There not much else you can do but let her get on with it.

richteasandcheese · 29/12/2019 16:41

And was her husband really a lovely man? Mine would appear to be but is actually a passive aggressive narcissistic twunt who doesn't deserve the oxygen he breathes......I'd suggest you un-hoik your judgy pants

MuchBetterNow · 29/12/2019 16:42

She sounds like an attention seeking arse, her old man is well rid.

MintyMabel · 29/12/2019 16:56

“Hey MN, I invite you to judge this person (who isn’t really my friend) for no apparent reason”

PinkiOcelot · 29/12/2019 17:00

YADNBU. Can’t believe the absolute shite people post on FB.

LastNameMarple · 29/12/2019 17:04

Her behaviour is disrespectful, cruel and really, pathetically juvenile.

Freddiefox · 29/12/2019 17:06

suffered with ill health which has made him depressed and difficult to live with, friend often posts stuff about him on Facebook which some of us find very sad and disrespectful to him, as he was a lovely man.
I think this is very telling. He was difficult to live with... he was a lovely man.

Living with a partner with MH difficulties is really hard going particularly one that won’t do anything to help himself. It’s easy to feel sympathy for the person with the MH issues from a far but far harder when you are the one picking up the slack for years. It’s almost a relief when you are out of the situation

NameChangeNugget · 29/12/2019 17:10

What an attention seeking cunt.

MerryChristmasUfilthyanimal · 29/12/2019 17:11

That would not be somebody I would be associating with anymore.

Lockheart · 29/12/2019 17:12

It's graceless but we have no idea what their relationship was like other than your very tiny description.

He could have been an abusive bully, he could be a wronged saint. She could have had a lucky escape or could be a heartless cow. The truth is probably somewhere in the middle.

Loveislandaddict · 29/12/2019 17:20

There’s another thread about people finding new partners soon after splitting up with ex. This is similar.

Maybe the marriage has been dead and buried for months, even though she has only just split. Maybe she has had a relationship with new guy for a while, maybe an emotional relationship.

I agree though, I’m always sceptical about people posting true love with new partners after a short space of time.

paranoidmum2 · 29/12/2019 17:22

he’s difficult to live with

I’m glad she’s left him, you need to mind your own business OP.

FruitcakeOfHate · 29/12/2019 17:23

'Lovely' man that you didn't have to live with. Bet her life has been Hell on Earth for years. You don't like her, so why pretend to be her friend?

SalmonFajitas · 29/12/2019 17:24

Nothing wrong with her ending her marriage and how quickly she moves on is her own business but YANBU that it's very attention seeking of her to plaster it all over Facebook. I would have definitely have hidden her feed by now.

Winterdaysarehere · 29/12/2019 17:25

Imo those who profess to be sooooo happy via fb usually aren't...

strawberry2017 · 29/12/2019 17:28

So many people like this.
Someone I know was dumped in July by the person she was engaged to and is already going on about how loved up she is with some new bloke and his kids by November. Personally I think he should have kept his kids out of it (but Thats his choice) but some people like the attention.

Danni12 · 29/12/2019 17:29

It's her business and we just don't know what their life together was like so we really can't judge. If he's not on FB then he's not going to see it...

GreenTulips · 29/12/2019 17:33

You’ve no idea what her marriage was like!! It may have been dead in the water, violent, dull or like PP said she’s done her fair share and is fed up of nothing changing.

MH is hard to live with, especially if they don’t want to seek help. She may have done him a favour.

I bet she doesn’t post half of it.

Block her on FB

BrendasUmbrella · 29/12/2019 17:36

If you don't like her, black and move on. Don't be one of those people who stick around just to gossip about the latest development you disapprove of.

BrendasUmbrella · 29/12/2019 17:36

*block

stilldoesntknowwhatshappening · 29/12/2019 17:36

Doesn't matter what her marriage was like. She's shown you who she is.
I'd avoid her and wash my hands of both of them.

Tistheseason17 · 29/12/2019 17:37

Mental Health issues are very difficult to live with so I would not blame her for leaving.

But.... posting on FB... I'd prob delete her. It's in bad taste.