To not bother buying my partner any new clothes anymore.

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He doesn’t buy his own clothes ever. Not even sure he knows his size. I generally buy him some clothes for birthday and christmas or sometimes his mum gives him birthday money and I’ll go shopping for him!! I do not mind buying the clothes..

I’m not sure if I sound like a control freak but he keeps wrecking it all. I tell him all his work clothes are folded in wardrobe and his best clothes are hung up. But it doesn’t seem to go in and he picks out his best clothes for work so newer clothes come home with holes, oil, other work related things on them, glue etc etc. It’s getting to the point I have to lay out his clothes for him.

Also he doesn’t look after them generally. Earlier I asked if he could clean a patch of mould on the wall (I have a stinking cold and cough so best I don’t do it). I reminded him to take his hoody off (an expensive hoody) but he didn’t so now his hoody is covered in bleach yet I told him to bloody take it off.

He’ll wear his best jeans and trainers out gardening and they’ll be covered in mud and grass. Which often comes out but not always.

Aibu to be annoyed by this or am I being a control freak? He hasn’t done a single load of laundry since we moved in together 6 years ago!

So stop doing it then. He obviously doesn’t care why should you? And as for laying his clothes out for him my aunt fanny.

He sounds like your seven year old child!

How very unattractive.

Stop treating him like a child and he may act like an adult. Dont do his laundry and definatly dont lay his clothes out! If he wants to wear new clothes for working in the garden etc then let him, its his choice not yours

Let him get on with it. My DP would be horrified if I ever had anything to do with telling him what to wear.

He needs to grow up! Leave him be and he'll have to eventually buy his own clothes. He's not a child.

He sounds like a toddler and you sound like his mum!

Is this your dp or your dc?!

In what relationship would it be seen as good to lay out his clothing for him and to wash it all again whilst reminding him not to wear certain items.

Ew

Why are you doing all this? He’s a grown man. Let him sort himself out.

Buy him 7 boiler suits, job done

My DP is the same. I wash the clothes or they'll never get washed, and I mean never.
In the morning I often lay fresh clothes out for him otherwise he'll wear old clothes.
I've tried to make a point and just not wash his clothes for him but it's like he doesn't even notice/doesn't care or even question it.
I have to tell him to brush his teeth/shower and most of the time he still doesn't. If he doesn't care then he won't do it. Unfortunately it is his choice since he is an adult.

It sounds like you gave birth to him 6 years ago, rather than moved in with him. Leave him to it, he’s old enough and presumably ugly enough to deal with his own shit.

Let him look like a scruff, stop buying good stuff.

I mean I'd stop buying his clothes because I wouldn't want to enable him being such a baby. It sounds like he doesn't really want "best" clothes anyway.

How dreadfully infantilising you are, very unattractive for both of you.

You are BU

*you are both BU!

My 16 ds knows better than this. Couldn’t stand living with someone like this.

He can wear whatever he wants for whatever he wants. They’re his clothes to do what he wants with.
However that extends to washing them. He wrecks them, he washes them.

My DH is the same. He actually doesn't care and would wear the same clothes every day for the rest of his life if I didn't put them in the wash basket and wash them.

How dreadfully infantilising you are, very unattractive for both of you.

How dreadfully patronising you are, very unattractive quality.

Is he like this in all aspects of home life? Does he do his share of the housework? Does he shop, cook, clean all by himself, or do you have to give him a list of jobs to do, then do them again properly afterwards?
I suspect the latter, (because i cant imagine a situation where a person can function in all areas except dressing himself appropriately).
Is this really who you want to be? Someone who has to tell a grown adult which clothes are suitable for which occasion?
If he really can function in all other areas, then perhaps he just doesn't care about clothes and you should let him get on with it, but i suspect he is a man-child generally and it won't get better with time.

Did he live exclusively in a nudist community before you met?

Why are with such a manchild? The comment about having to ask him to clean mould off the wall makes me think he does FA.

My DD has SN and LD's and functions better than a lot of DPs on here.

How do you find them attractive enough to have sex with? Especially the one's with poor personal hygiene.

OP leave him to look like a scruff and be embarrassed if he's got nothing to wear.

This is ridiculous.

Omg i couldn’t cope with this.
Jeez I want my man in merino or cashmere with lovely shoes ...maybe a nice man bag. And I want him smelling of the finest fragrance and ready at all moments in time for an impromptu trip to a fancy restaurant or the theatre.
All of the above to be organized by his own self.

I have to confess I’d start dressing him up in bad outfits as a weird punishment. That’s how resentful I’d be of this kind of shit.

Why does he not buy his own clothes? First his mum now you...maybe he hates the clothes you choose for him and is ruining them on purpose in the vain hope he's allowed to be an adult and decide for himself what he wants to wear.