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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

.... to feel unreasonable fury this morning?

72 replies

albertatrilogy · 29/12/2019 09:57

So it's not been the best Christmas. No major tragedies, illnesses, houseful of badly behaved relatives.

Me. Husband. Return of daughter who moved away in September to start first 'proper' adult job.

Since mid-December Husband has been ill. He got a urine infection after having some tests for surgery that he will need to have in the New Year. The infection has been unpleasant for him. He's been feverish. The first lot of antibiotics didn't clear the infection, so I had to take him to a primary care place just before Xmas for a second lot. On Xmas Day he insisted on contributing to making dinner, and promptly cut his thumb badly tried to deal with the wound himself and bled all over the fresh towels I'd put down. On Boxing Day he came down with a heavy cold.

My daughter has been quite helpful with cooking and clearing up, so it's not been as hard work as it might have been. But I've been the one dealing with buying fresh sticking plasters and fresh supplies of herb tea - he decided to abstain from caffeine as well as alcohol - while on batch 2 of tablets. My husband has wanted to talk a lot about his physical symptoms, and while I've tried to be supportive it's not the liveliest form of conversation.

This morning he's been a bit better and so wanted to make breakfast. But when he's not 100% he does this bizarre ultra-fussy not listening thing. So the conversation went as follows.

Me: Just make whatever you fancy making for breakfast.
Him: Yes, but what do you want?
Me: I said just make what you want.
Him: starts to recite long list of possible breakfast ingredients in stock.
Me: (to try and bring recitation to close) You could use the egg yolk. The one from that cracked egg yesterday.
Him: Right. (Nods. pause, while he does some more thinking. Then in helpful enthusiastic tone) Okay. Do you want me to use the cracked egg from yesterday as well....?

It was the straw that broke my camel's back. Fortunately I'm off out in a bit.

OP posts:
Smashtastick · 29/12/2019 09:59

So what's your question op?

usernamepp · 29/12/2019 10:01

YABU

Seems like a complete non-event and I'm surprised you've taken the time to post about it

Duchessgummybuns · 29/12/2019 10:05

Go for a walk, you’ll feel better

MaggieFS · 29/12/2019 10:05

YABU because when you are cooking for someone else and specifically ask them what they want, there is nothing more irritating than vague 'whatever you're having' or 'whatever you want' style answers!

StillCoughingandLaughing · 29/12/2019 10:07

To be honest, you sound a bit of a pain to live with yourself. ‘He bled on my towels!’ ‘I had to buy him plasters!’ I hope he wasn’t looking for anything approaching sympathy.

Bluntness100 · 29/12/2019 10:09

Well aren't you a little charm. 🤣

MissCherryCakeyBun · 29/12/2019 10:10

What a delight you are.....I do hope you don't expect sympathy from him if/when you're ill Confused

Not the best role model for your daughter on how to behave as a proper adult either

Ozgirl75 · 29/12/2019 10:14

I’m pretty sure part of the marriage vows are “in sickness and in health”. Sure, sick people can be a bit annoying but you sound really uncaring and cold.

Butchyrestingface · 29/12/2019 10:15

Surely by using the term ”unreasonable fury” in your thread title you’ve answered your own question? Crown Confused

The rest of it doesn’t show you in the most flattering of lights.

1Morewineplease · 29/12/2019 10:16

I’m not sure that your scenario warrants “unreasonable fury.”
Mithering over breakfast options is what many people do every day.
Popping out to get herbal tea and plasters isn’t an arduous ordeal.

Not sure what your problem is , if I’m honest.

ItsGoingTibiaK · 29/12/2019 10:17

Your husband and daughter sound nice.

3luckystars · 29/12/2019 10:18

You are just getting sick of playing nurse. I get it, I have had a month of sickness here and I understand.

Get out of the house and get away from him today. Good luck.

CFlemingSmith · 29/12/2019 10:19

He was literally just asking you what you wanted for breakfast.

Get out the house for a break and some fresh air

LadyTiredWinterBottom2 · 29/12/2019 10:20

You've answered your own question really, as the title is 'unreasonable fury'. If you be been cooped up for a few days, it's easy to get in each others nerves. Go out by yourself for a bit.

ElbasAbsentPenis · 29/12/2019 10:25

I get where you’re coming from. My DH talks at great length about all the minutiae of his colds and coughs and it makes me want to bang my head against the wall. Get away from him for a bit, you’ll feel better. This time of year is awful for being cooped up with your irritating loved ones.

Surplus2requirements · 29/12/2019 10:25

Wanting to cook you a nice breakfast to make up for not pulling his weight by being selfishly ill...

LTB Grin

FredaFrogspawn · 29/12/2019 10:27

To be fair, she acknowledges that her fury is unreasonable! You need some time and space away from him, I’d agree, for both of your sakes. Sounds like a bit of an intense Christmas!

amaryl · 29/12/2019 10:27

You kept a cracked egg?

gamerwidow · 29/12/2019 10:28

To be fair to the OP most families get on each other’s tits sometimes when the drip of minor irritations gets too much.
Go out and get some time away from each other it’ll do you both the world of good and you can make up again.

AnneLovesGilbert · 29/12/2019 10:29

Poor man, he’s been ill for ages and must be exhausted. Exactly how hard have you found it cooking a meal with your daughter’s help, sympathising with your sick husband, washing towels Hmm and buying plasters? It’s like the people who list making themselves a cup of tea in the morning as one of their chores. Are you quite well? None of what you describe, including choosing what breakfast you were being cooked by someone else, sounds remotely onerous. May all your problems be so small.

NotSureWhoIAmToday · 29/12/2019 10:29

I get you OP. My DH has a cold/man-flu kind of thing. He is well enough to do his "hobby" Grin ie go for a couple of long bike rides.

But ill enough to be "bravely-ill" at me. Slight sighs. Slight sniffs. Careful sitting down. His whole body-language screaming "Look at me bravely carrying on".

I cannot properly describe it. But I get your rage.

Butchyrestingface · 29/12/2019 10:30

To be fair, she acknowledges that her fury is unreasonable

Yes, which complete nixes the point of the thread.
What she’s asking is “am I unreasonable to be unreasonable?” Grin

ProngstheStag · 29/12/2019 10:31

You sound like very hard work.

YappityYapYap · 29/12/2019 10:34

What even is this thread? 🤔

needanewnamechange · 29/12/2019 10:34

I think I get it you're fed up of playing nurse ?
My dh is like this , I get a cold feel rubbish but carry on . He gets a cold and he tells me in detail his symptoms constantly . I say are you ok he says no I can't breathe etc etc Hmm.