To want my 3 year old to show some gratitude?

[Saltdoughmuncher]

I know, I know he is only 3. But he is driving me insane at the minute. He was thoroughly spoilt at Christmas, so many toys and presents from relatives and I want him to realise how lucky he is.

He asks for things constantly. It’s a new phase but it’s starting to make him sound spoilt and entitled and I really hate it. We went to soft play for an hour today, explained in the car on the way there that we had just eaten lunch so we wouldn’t be buying drinks and snacks, but that he could have an ice-cream after playing for a while. The whole time we were there he was asking for money for the games machines, snacks, drinks etc. He doesn’t usually scream and shout when told no, but will go on and on about it. If he were older I would say if he asks for anything again we go straight home, but I’m not sure this is fair at his age?

At home tonight he has decided he now loves Octonauts and wants one of the toys. I’ve explained that it has just been Christmas, he had lots of lovely things and that he won’t be getting anything else any time soon. But he has gone on and on all evening!

For reference I never give in to the constant asking or whinging. I’ve not been very well and so my temper is a little shorter than usual but today I’ve really struggled not to shout at him.

Please tell me this phase won’t last long and he will learn to be grateful for what he has?

OP, the advert that popped up on my thread was brilliant...

What EndOfTheLine said.

He won't understand the context that he's had a lot of new stuff and therefore to not now ask for more. He's just not going to be capable yet. If anything the overwhelming nature of Christmas and the sheer volume of stuff will likely be what's making these behaviours worse at the moment.

The only way to get through it is to remind yourself not to expect him to see the world through your adult eyes. It's not possible.

In terms of teaching gratefulness you can't make someone learn to be grateful and thankful by telling them to be. You've got to model it. Say thank you to each other and to him at home. Comment on nice things you do for each other as a family "ooh daddy made me a lovely cup of tea, that's so kind of him" etc.

Three year olds who have never been taught to be grateful won't be

😂😂😂😂

OP chill he's totally normal. In some ways it's easier dd2 never wants anything, gawd knows what I'm going to buy for her January birthday 🤷🏻‍♀️.

Its not forever. Standard 3 year old behaviour.

As pp have said, delaying tactics, 'maybe next Christmas, or for your birthday...'

Saltdoughmuncher,

He was thoroughly spoilt at Christmas...

from the dictionary:

1. harm the character of (someone, especially a child) by being too lenient or indulgent

Why should he thank you for the acknowledged harm you have done?

Poor sod.

It's normal. Just keep doing what you're doing. He'll eventually internalise the messages you give him. Certainly don't lose your temper - if you want him to be grateful, treat him as though he is, don't give him the message that he isn't by getting cross and emphasising an apparent 'deficit'. I always said to mine, for example, "we don't waste money on slot machines because we're smart and sensible". If you want a smart and sensible child, you tell them that that is what they are, and ignore inconsistent behaviours, or indicate that they must be mistaken in choosing them. Labelling works both ways.

@TheFrendo

Jesus judge the tone! Everyone says their kids have been "spoilt" at christmas and they don't literally mean their characters have been permanently damaged. I've said "god DC have really been spoilt my grandparents this year". I meant they got a loads of presents not that their personalities have been destroyed, everyone understood what I meant just like we understood OP.