To think PILs should contribute something?

[Concestor]

We've just hosted my parents for Christmas for 3 days. They brought wine and some other bits and bobs as a contribution.

We often stay with them and take things too. If we visit PIL we stay at my parents' because PIL have turned both their spare rooms into non-bedrooms so there's no room for us.

PIL were invited to come after Christmas to visit. They announced they were coming for 5 days including NYE.

They are not bringing anything to contribute to food. They made us buy the kids' gifts (and wrap them) and give us cash (nice to get something but basically zero thought even though we all do wish lists to make it easier).

AIBU to think that if they impost a 5 day visit on us they should contribute to costs a bit?

DH won't ask them and won't tell them to come for less time either. He was even going to go to work during their visit until I told him to book the time off. They're ok people but just sit on the sofa on their phones all day ignoring the children and us so it's not really very fun. I don't dislike them but I don't especially enjoy their company either.

Lelly
I’m with your there. I also wouldn’t ask for a contribution. The visitor traditionally buys the hosts a meal, agreed.

Never allow the five day thing to occur again. That is the root of the problem. In future make sure you deal with the length of stay, not your husband and ask them for possible dates they might like to stay. If they suggest/demand five nights you can then say ‘Those three nights ...... will be fine but unfortunately we can’t do longer than that because we have commitments/an old friend of mine is coming to stay etc The length of time is ridiculously long unless you really have a fantastic relationship with people. Remember the old expression, ‘...Fish and visitors, go off after three days...’

It's interesting how different the views are on this.

I only really expected some kind of contribution because of the length of the stay. They usually come 3 days like my parents do. And also because we can't stay at theirs so they've never hosted us.

They don't host us except for the odd meal because they have made it so that they don't have beds in the spare rooms. We are lucky my parents live in the same town so can host us when we see PIL but that means my parents do a lot of hosting (and are 10 years older than PIL).

I know I can't ask for anything but I'd hoped they would offer or DH would discuss with them.

For the poster asking how I know they won't bring anything. Ive been married 11 years so I've plenty of experience and don't expect them to change now!

I don't expect my PIL to bring anything but I enjoy their company when they are here. They will also usually buy a meal or contribute to shopping if we pick up a few bits.