Am I being unreasonable to refuse to babysit for in laws anymore?

[OrdosDeluxe]

Hi all, Dad here.

We have a 10 month old, and my wife's best friend (also her sister in law, as this friend ended up marrying her brother) has 2 kids, a 3 year old and a 7 month old.

My wife is a really nice person, but she's lazy when it comes to our home and our baby. I find myself working full time, and also doing the majority of baby stuff when I'm not working. I also end up doing around 80% of housework, and cooking. Truth be told I don't mind, as I know that looking after baby is hard, and I completely understand how tough it can be.

My big issue right now is that because my wife is so nice, she finds herself getting asked to help babysit her sister in law's kids very frequently. I've got absolutely no issue helping out occasionally, but it happens really frequently. This ranges from a full day watching, to popping into their house for an hour or so to allow them to run errands.

For example this week, we've had the 3 year old for most of a day so that his mum can get her house tidied. When I suggest the same to my wife, to let us get caught up on the housework, I get told "no no, I don't want to put them out." They never volunteer to babysit for us of their own accord either, and at the time of writing they have never had our baby.

I understand it's good to build relationships with the extended family, but I'm getting to the point where I'm resenting my wife because she is happy for me to run ragged at home, yet she will happy accept or volunteer to take these other kids (ultimately causing more work for me). Am I being unreasonable if I ask my wife to stop taking these other kids? At least for a while?

@rwalker
Has anyone actually said he should be doing all the housework? I think the posta generally said that he should sit down with her and discuss the housework problem because she needs to be doing half that.

Yanbu op.

The next time your in laws drop off their kids say:
' Great, so can we drop or dc off at yours next Saturday so that we can do the same (i e clean the house, or whatever). We will drop her off at 10 and collect her at 6. ' All said with a big smile on your face.
If they care to say no they you tell your wife that she is to stop doing it for them, unless she takes your child with her and still helps to clean your house.

The in laws are taking the piss.

Your wife has a 10 month old baby which she looks after while and so you can work full time.
That's far more tiring than any job

This is such a wild generalisation. And could be anything from true to total bollocks. Depending on child, sleep, job in question etc etc. So pretty meaningless.

OP: a 10 month old, 1 f/t + 1p/t job is a reasonable domestic load, and with careful planning you should be able to manage work, housekeeping and both spending time with your child.

I was working F/t from when my kids were 4 months, but we did get a cleaner when it got too much. I never really wanted to leave the kids with anyone else to babysit as I felt I saw little enough of them.

Is your DW willing to leave your baby with the ILs?

It sounds as if you and DW hav different thresholds for cleanliness and tidiness, and that the babysitting is a different issue.

I wouldn’t regularly babysit a 3 year old for a while day, that is a major commitment!