Please bare with me I’m a long time lurker and I really need kind honest advice.
I’m very nervous about posting as I have seen really mean and cruel replies to people that are uncalled for.
I am also dyslexic so if my post has mistakes in it apologies in advance.
I am adopted I was adopted from birth.
My adopted mum died 5 years ago, and left me devastated.
My adopted dad left us when I was 7 for another woman who was cruel to me, she could not understand why he kept in touch me when I was not really his child.
However I fought for my place and I remained in contact.
When she left him when I was 18 he suddenly wanted to be closer to me even though he had two older adult children who did not have much to do with him.
Dad has always been a drinker and a violent man.
He used to beat my mother up in front of me as a child.
He has nobody else but me and his son who sees him once maybe twice a year.
His other son does not have anything to do with him.
When dads wife left him he drank even more and started hanging around with not very nice women.
I kept out of it because he told me it had nothing to do with me and he spoke to me dreadfully.
Fast forward to 7 years ago when he had a stroke, he became worse.
He spread nasty rumours about me to his family about that I did nothing for him (I was running backwards and forwards 3 busses there and back doing his washing etc) he was in severe debt I collected his pension and put it in his bank and cleared all his debts for him whilst he was in hospital.
The hospital told me not to give him money in case these women (who only wanted money for booze and drugs) came in asking for it.
He would pay for their company if you see what I mean (prior) to going in hospital
He went to a rehabilitation place, where he would not engage with the staff they told me to bring washing powder in and not to do his washing, to try and get him to do something.
He said I was being unfair.
When he came out he had money in the bank the money he accused me of stealing.
Luckily I kept all receipts for everything!
He was deemed fit to live alone and he took one of the paid for ladies in and she moved in with him.
I kept my mouth shut.
Now even she’s gone because of how he behaves.
He told me flatly that I would get nothing when he dies (he’s 87)
That it will all go to his son. (Not that I wanted anything)
He does not phone me unless he wants something
When I do he barks at me or shouts.
I should add that his own family (brothers and sisters)
Have nothing to do with him because of how he is.
He has nobody but me who sees him weekly and his son who does stuff I think more out of duty who sees him once a week.
Wibu to cut ties with him?
He was so mean on Christmas Day that my DH snapped and called him a selfish arrogant man who only wants his own way.
I feel guilty because he took me in as a baby when nobody else wanted me.
I mean nobody likes him everyone has left him at 87 will he ever learn?
Am I being horrible to just cut ties without saying a word?