To go for a walk and get a takeaway?

[whatnow40]

Visiting DM, thankfully only for 1 full day, but arrived yesterday evening and going tomorrow morning.

She can't cook. I mean, I survived childhood. But I did spend periods malnourished despite being overweight, would regularly faint and was never taken to a doctor after the malnourishment issues.

She isn't mean, but was abusive in a neglectful and oblivious way. Food in her house is always bad. She insisted she was going to cook our 'main' meal I'm while here with DH and DS (8). Chicken casserole. It's vile. It's the most disgusting substance I've ever put in my mouth. Even DH couldn't finish it.

Poor DS tried his best and was polite, and is now hiding under a duvet with some pringles. All other food we are eating while here has been brought by us. Because I'm always told to bring my own food and, quite frankly, it's not worth the arguments if I asked her to buy stuff specifically for our visit.

So, she is really happy with the dinner. We are not. We only have enough food for us to have one meal this evening and breakfast in the morning. It's only 1pm and DS will defo want to eat again soon. Shall we just go for a walk and find a pub or get a takeaway in an hour?

All go to the pub and get some dinner this evening?

Shall we just go for a walk and find a pub or get a takeaway in an hour?

You're a grown up with a child to feed, why wouldn't you? What's the alternative, all go hungry?

You don't need permission.

@SquashedOrange
DM is very pleased with herself and thought it was lovely. She said how nice it was to cook for everyone. Literally the first time she has ever done anything like this. There are LOADS of leftovers. We will have to tell her how awful it was and upset her. Despite my miserable childhood, I don't believe in hurting her feelings unnecessarily.

I'm thinking a stealth walk and quick scoff might be in order.

Well it won't be stealthy if you all go! Are you considering going out for a private chip?

No! Surely not!

I thought we could say we're taking DS to the park. She won't want to come. I've counted the bread and have enough for some sandwiches as well as toast for breakfast, so just made a ham sandwich for DS. DH is already complaining quietly to me, I've got about half an hour to work out a plan before full hunger grumpiness takes hold in all of us. Except DM. She's happy.

Of course go to a pub? Even if the casserole was great you wouldn't want to meals in a row of it.

Two

Tell us why the casserole was vile please. What was in it etc? We cant' truly sympathise otherwise.

For goodness sake! Just go for a walk and call in at a cafe/pub/chip shop while you're out. Bring back some snacks that you can eat in your room later. You're leaving in the morning , you won't starve. Why do you feel you have to tell her and burst her bubble? She's tried and is happy, why would you want to hurt her feelings? No need to make a drama our of it

@BillHadersNewWife
It was done in a pressure cooker with chicken thighs. The meat was the only edible bit, but not enough of it. 2 thighs for 4 people.

She added potato, carrots, leek, and onion plus water. The potato was fresh but other veg was frozen. I use frozen myself, but always straight from the freezer. She defrosted the veg overnight. No stock. No seasoning. Too much cornflour to thicken. The veg/sauce was like mushy slime all mixed and merged together in to one congealed blob. Just the sensation in my mouth made me feel a bit sick. DS was really very good and tried his best with it.

@Mydogmylife You've misunderstood. I don't want to tell her or hurt her feelings.

Oh lordy! Defrosted veg??

Go out, get a nice chippy and take your big handbag so you can get some musli bars, chocolate and crisps for later.

Pub

@BillHadersNewWife

"Oh lordy! Defrosted veg??"

Yes indeed. 🤮

Oh bless her though...she did try. But...it doesn't mean you can't have takeaway!

Get food at he pub.

Yes she did try, and this kind of thing isn't easy for her. I've turned the heating up and expect her to be asleep in the chair within about 10 mins. Then we'll go out!!

Just say that despite it being "lovely", it gave you all exploding arses so unfortunately you'll just have to chow down on something else

"Hey mum, seeing as you cooked for us all last night we're going to treat you to a meal at the pub." Make it a statement and not a question.

Why are you putting your family through this? I understand that situations aren’t as black and white as people make out on here but honestly I would be extremely hurt and angry if my husband expected me to put up with this, never mind our child. You have your own family to stand up for now and you owe your mother nothing after what you’ve said about your childhood. Time to decide where you’re priorities lie.

My mil used to put all veg for Sunday lunch in pressure cooker at 10 am.
Eat about 3pm.
Grim.
Even ddog refused the leftovers!!

I'm currently staying with my DM who used to be a great cook when I was growing up but since my Dad died and she had a stroke is a lot more eccentric in the kitchen! She wants to make a blue cheese and bacon risotto tonight and like's to prep the food early and had the bacon out on the side at 9am in preparation for tonight! I'm really OCD about food having had food poisoning very badly a few years ago for 10days. I don't want to hurt her but just don't trust her cooking! Mind you she never gets I'll so maybe I should go with it!

Your dh has alot of patience. I wouldnt put up with this. Most importantly why put your child through this. It affected you enough to feel abused and neglected yet you still want everyone to dance around her.
Actually I think it's worse that you all including your very young ds have this private joke about her. Just be honest and tell her it's bad. She might feel hurt but you had a whole childhood that was affected.

I would be extremely hurt and angry if my husband expected me to put up with this, never mind our child.

God. You're a sensitive soul aren't you? If you think a bit of crap food is something to be hurt and angry over!