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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To feel very let down

43 replies

MaitlandGirl · 28/12/2019 01:18

So we rent from my BIL, he actually asked us to live into this property (giving up a secure tenancy with a real estate agent) as he was having problems with his previous tenants.

I don’t work as I’m my DWs full time carer.

Today BIL dropped a bombshell - he’s getting the house appraised with a view to selling. MIL knew this yesterday but chose not to say anything as she didn’t want to get involved. BIL didn’t even have the decency to come up and tell us face to face, he phoned us instead.

I get that it’s his house and he can do what the he’ll he wants with it, but where the hell are we supposed to live? The private rental market is non existent here and as neither of us are working we can’t rent through a real estate agent.

I’m quite honestly terrified, in 2 months we could be homeless with no chance of finding anywhere. DW already has poor mental health and this is going to push her into another breakdown.

I just feel so let down as we only moved in here because we were promised that it was a long term investment that he would never sell.

OP posts:

Onacleardayyoucansee · 28/12/2019 01:28

Its up to him, as you rightly say.

What are the Local Authoroty like? Could you apply for social housing?
If so, do that now.
Start looking for somewhere else.
Can you cobtact Carers groups who may have ideas!?

Be open to the possibility that something better may be in store.

Its not great conduct from BIL as you had an agreemenr, but if you focus on that, it may hold you back and zap you of needed strength for your caring role and resourcing.

Best wishes

Italiangreyhound · 28/12/2019 01:46

it's very unfair of him. However, presumably you have nothing binding on paper. So I'd look elsewhere for rent-able property.

Look into social housing. Housing association etc.

Good luck.

Butchyrestingface · 28/12/2019 01:50

How long have you lives there? Have his circumstances changed?

Winter2020 · 28/12/2019 02:05

You don't have to leave in two months. BIL would need to serve a section 21 that is valid before he could go to court to evict you. He is unlikely to be able to serve a valid section 21 as he is unlikely to have met his obligations as a landlord such as protecting your deposit, issuing you with the correct paperwork and having annual gas checks. He is likely to have cut corners as you are family and it is "informal". Did he even do a tax return and declare his rental receipts? Basically don't leave in two months- leave when you have somewhere to go to and not before. If you can't find anywhere he will have to evict you through the court and you can ask the local authority to help you - although they may help you to find a private rental rather than council housing.

Original poster

MaitlandGirl · 28/12/2019 02:08

Social housing has a minimum 7 year wait, so that’s not possible.

We’ve been here 3.5 years and our rent is more than his mortgage payment. Apparently this house is a poor financial investment (well, that’s not my fault) and he wants to sell it to buy somewhere else with more potential to increase his investment. I don’t think it’s a case of him financially struggling just that he could be making more money than he currently is.

We’ve talked for ages about moving (it’s so hot here) but that’s all it’s ever been, talk. We literally don’t have the money to rent a van never mind pay 4weeks rent in bond and 2 weeks rent up front. The plan was to move once the girls have finished university, so 3 years time as that would give us time to save and plan properly with Drs and specialists.

He’s my wife’s brother and all we got was a phone call. That’s what hurts the most, he couldn’t even come up and tell us face to face and now he’s offended that DW got upset and wasn’t excited for him buying somewhere else that will make him more money.

OP posts:

Josette77 · 28/12/2019 02:59

You've been there 3.5 years which is a pretty long time. I honestly don't think he's done anything wrong. I get it's a huge inconvenience for you, but it is his house. Your wife's mental health is not his concern. It's too bad he's decided to sell, but it's reasonable he would..

transformandriseup · 28/12/2019 03:40

I sympathise with you and I don't think 3.5 years is a long time if your were promised long term but it's normal for rent to be higher than the cost of a mortgage as it needs to cover the costs incurred by letting a house out.

eaglejulesk · 28/12/2019 03:56

I think it's pretty unfair if you moved in because you were promised it was long-term and BIL asked you to move in. 3.5 years is hardly long-term, and being told by a phone call was insensitive considering the relationship. He's used you really. Good luck finding a new home.

Pixxie7 · 28/12/2019 04:03

You say he is buying somewhere else, is it possible for you to rent that. At the end of the day there isn’t a lot you can do.
Surely he will be able to give you a good reference which will help and perhaps you could move to another area to rent somewhere.

TheSandgroper · 28/12/2019 04:05

Please note, OP is in Australia. Discussion of housing association, council, section 21 are not valid here.

@MaitlandGirl, I am sorry I can’t offer any useful advice. Vinnies is the only place I can think of tp ask for help.

Original poster

MaitlandGirl · 28/12/2019 04:27

I never said he wasn’t entitled to sell, I completely understand why he’d need to if he was in financial difficulty but he’s not. The rent on this place pays all the mortgage here, plus half the mortgage on the house he lives in. It’s just not making as much money as he wants so he’s going to sell.

It’s the way he told us that really hurts, he returned DWs phone call about a problem with the septic and then said “oh yeah, should probably tell you I’m getting the house appraised as I want to sell, it’s not making me enough money but I’ll give you 2 months notice of when you need to be out by”.

No personal visit, no phone call specifically about this, just a “by the way” bombshell that has completely blown our lives apart.

I know people say it all the tome but we have no where to go and no options, if we don’t win the lottery I’ll be homeless and DW will be on a psych ward. We were told long term, never selling the house, live there as long as you want/need. Should have known better than to trust him.

OP posts:

RichTwoTurkeyFriend · 28/12/2019 05:29

Hi OP, I’m very sorry to hear you are in this situation. Sounds like your BIL is a bit of a dick, TBH.
The ‘7 year wait’ for Housing in NSW (guessing that’s where you are) is a myth, it’s dependant on need, location, urgency etc. Can you be flexible on where you live? Do you have children living with you? All of these things can impact.

RedHelenB · 28/12/2019 07:38

You were a bit foolish to move in the first place given that you're obviously over paying rent wise. Most properties you rent would just cover mortgage payments.

Original poster

MaitlandGirl · 28/12/2019 10:44

*@RichTwoTurkeyFriend - it really is a 7 year waiting list, as a minimum. There’s little to no social housing stock here and the demean is very high as private rental are very expensive.

@RedHelenB we’re not overpaying according to the local area, BIL already owned the land and it’s very cheap to build a house here (plus he used a really cheap builder). The property that he lives in is a fixer upper that he bought very cheaply at auction.

As I keep saying - I know it’s his property and he can sell if/when he wants to. That’s not the issue, the issue is AIBU to feel very let down over the way he’s gone about telling us.

OP posts:

DarklyDreamingDexter · 28/12/2019 10:55

It’s a shit situation if he promised you a long term rental and has now reneged on that. It will cost him money to sell the place and buy somewhere new, with agent fees, solicitors and stamp duty/tax. Is it possible you can offer to increase your rent, so his investment makes him more money? Not great, but at least you won’t be homeless?

paranoidmum2 · 28/12/2019 10:55

Family and business don’t mix. You should never have given up the secure tenancy.

I hope you find something suitable. BIL is a dick for expecting his poorly, STB homeless sister to be happy for him.

PurpleDaisies · 28/12/2019 11:01

I don’t think your MIL has don’t anything wrong. It wasn’t her place to say anything and he’s told you today. I’m not sure your BIL has done anything terribly wrong either (three and a half years is a long time for things to change) but I can see why you’re worried about where to go.

Good luck finding a new property to move to.

Dontdisturbmenow · 28/12/2019 11:03

Maybe he is not happy with the way you are looking after the house? Who knows, but in the end, you were talking about moving, and he decided to bite the bullet and sale now. I don't think telling you by phone is outrageous, however, could you negotiate a longer time so you save a bit and have more time to look for something else?

Livelovebehappy · 28/12/2019 11:06

It’s inconvenient for you but nothing you can do about it unfortunately if he’s decided that’s what he wants to do. But please don’t screw him over suggested upthread by winter, not a helpful suggestion when I guess your relationship with him has been good up to this point. . He’s your DWs brother and whilst it might seem unfair action on his part, he has presumably been a decent landlord. Hope you find somewhere.

NoMorePoliticsPlease · 28/12/2019 11:10

Do you have tenancy agreement and a safegurded deposit?

iwantavuvezela · 28/12/2019 11:11

I think if you can show that you have been paying market rate rent for 3,5 years that is already a huge plus when looking for somewhere else to rent.

Take some time to get used to the idea that you need to move, then look around to see what really exists. As you say you are paying the mortgage and more, then this sum should allow you some flexibility to rent somewhere suitable.
If the place is not a good investment it might also take longer to sell.

RichTwoTurkeyFriend · 28/12/2019 11:13

OP, I actually work in the area of social housing in NSW so, respectfully, this is not correct dependant on your circumstances.
You obviously live in a high demand area, would you consider widening your search? Do you have dependant children? If you are a full time career for your wife, I presume she has a disability? These are all things that might increase your priority level.
Given your BIL is also a bit of a tool, you could, in theory, dig your heels in.
It’s a long process to evict.

ohwheniknow · 28/12/2019 11:18

Your wife's mental health is not his concern.

Bullshit, the wife here is the man's sister.

Freddiefox · 28/12/2019 11:21

Does your authority have an open rent scheme or similar, the council should have a list of landlords who will rent to people on benefits. Try those first. You council can help, you need to be firm with them.
Get bil to provide you with the right documentation to evidence he is giving you notice To leave.

Get him officially to give you two month notice, now not when it suits him when he has a buyer as you will be under added pressure. If you have notice to leave the council will help, if it’s just a landlord is selling house they will tell you to come back when it’s sold.

Try to move out before he has sold the property so bil has to pay the mortgage himself, make him responsible for meeting people involved in the house sale. Make him meet the estate agents, just carry on your lives around it.

Freddiefox · 28/12/2019 11:22

Also don’t leave until you have somewhere else.

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