Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think some posts are very ungrateful?

65 replies

EMacCoffee · 28/12/2019 00:18

I've seen about 4 threads tonight all talking about rubbish Christmas presents.

Do people not realise people have actually spent time and put thought into these gifts? I personally think then going to rant about it on the internet is very ungrateful.

I can't be the only one who hates seeing thsese threads at Christmas? I see it on other social media as well like Twitter and Facebook.

OP posts:
ParanoidGynodroid · 28/12/2019 00:23

I agree.
Just be thankful you have people who want to buy you stuff, you ungrateful bastards.

Nikmarsh26 · 28/12/2019 00:24

The one ive been reading ive personally found a little funny. I dont think they’re meant with malice. Its just light hearted but some comments of the gifts are comical. Its just people finding humour in some of it x

justgivememulledwine · 28/12/2019 00:29

Let’s be honest, some gifts are a bit shit, but they can be regifted/ given to charity etc,

Nanny0gg · 28/12/2019 00:30

Do people not realise people have actually spent time and put thought into these gifts?

Not always. Which is the point.

Wearywithteens · 28/12/2019 00:30

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn at the poster's request.

EMacCoffee · 28/12/2019 00:31

It's all very well saying they can be regifted etc, but if so then just do that.

Don't post about on the internet ffs!

IDK it just really irritates me, I know far too many people who don't get any.

OP posts:
BlingLoving · 28/12/2019 00:34

The threads I've seen have been about people getting thoughtless gifts. I think most of us would rather have a £5 thoughtful gift than a £40 thoughtless one. That's not unreasonable.

Blackbear19 · 28/12/2019 00:35

Is that not the point of an anonymous forum? To have a rant and rave about stuff that actually you cant talk about in the real world?

TheHootiestChristmasOwl · 28/12/2019 00:37

But lots of people haven’t spent time or put any thought into it.

WhatsInAName19 · 28/12/2019 00:40

Do people not realise people have actually spent time and put thought into these gifts?

The only post I’ve seen about a shit present was from someone whose boyfriend had put zero time and effort into it. It’s not ungrateful to be pissed off that someone who is meant to be your partner has spent all of 2 minutes and £8 on a generic gift in Boots, whilst you have put loads of thought and effort (not necessarily cash) into something you think they’ll love. What should that poster have been grateful for? She couldn’t be grateful for the effort, thought or expense because there hadn’t been any!

NeverTwerkNaked · 28/12/2019 00:45

I don't know. Some people, yes. But not all.

If you don't have much cash to spend on yourself a present can either be a real treat or a huge frustration (you know how much better you could have spent that money).

sometimes an imbalance in thought/money spent really does indicate deeper problems in the relationship.

But yes, on the other hand there could be all kinds of forgiveable reasons for rubbish gifts - lack of cash, lack of time (maybe big real life problems to deal with) or just being hopeless at choosing gifts well .

lyralalala · 28/12/2019 00:53

Some “gifts” are rant-worthy

I received a handheld hoover and “Hinch kit” as a gift from someone...

Not DH. Not MIL, who also lives here, just me.

Standards have slipped a small bit while juggling FIL dying, my youngest having an emergency operation and my ex treating our girls appallingly

She’s lucky she didn’t get hit with her “thoughtful” gift

HerRoyalNotness · 28/12/2019 00:57

I think I the point is that people have NOT put time and thought into the shit that some posters get. And no they should not be grateful for table crumbs.

bridgetreilly · 28/12/2019 00:59

I'd rather people vent here than in real life to the present-givers, though.

MistyCloud · 28/12/2019 01:02

@EMacCoffee I am torn here, because on the one hand I (sort of) agree that it seems a bit rude to dislike a gift and slag it off. On the other hand, some gifts are so shit and naff - or just not that great - that you almost wish they wouldn't bother.

The worst gifts (IMO) are experiences. Awful. Unless the person in question has specifically indicated that they want to do this particular thing, then why get it?

Someone I know has been given an 'experience' that she never asked for, that she has to travel eighty miles to. She hasn't got a car, so has to get the train, and the thing starts at 8am, so she is going to have to stay in a hotel overnight, as no train from her market town will get her there in time.

This 'gift' is going to cost her an extra £100 - £110, for train fares and a hotel room, and a taxi to the location and back (and food and drink.) That's if she goes. She is thinking of not using it, and trying to sell it, and pretending to the gift-giver that she has used the voucher/done the experience.

I don't know why people buy these gifts I really don't!

BusyBB · 28/12/2019 01:03

I am ungrateful for the electric tooth brush I received from DH.

He didn't remember last year my mum asked us both if we wanted one. I said no way, I hate them. and he said yes.

so around a week before Xmas I was cleaning the bathroom and threw out my toothbrush. at tooth brushing time I looked in the box and there were none left! so I took one of dh's spare electric tooth brush heads and shared his electric tooth brush for a few days. still hate them! went to get new manual tooth brush before Xmas.

meanwhile, DH was annoyed his toothbrush was running out of battery faster (with double the use) and went into town especially to buy me a "surprise". it certainly was a surprise as I hate them! and it was £35!!!

Ah well, I told him I don't want it and it's already returned!

chinateapot · 28/12/2019 01:22

One year my mum gave my DH dates stuffed with walnuts. They were out of date. And he has an anaphylactic reaction to nuts. I think he was entitled to moan a bit!

Also - it’s the Internet. They’re not moaning to anyone’s face. They’re either venting or chatting. If you don’t like it just scroll on past.

PhoneLock · 28/12/2019 01:28

Some “gifts” are rant-worthy

I received a handheld hoover
I am ungrateful for the electric tooth brush I received from DH.

Ha ha!

I've given both these items as gifts. The toothbrush to my husband and the vacuum to an aunt. Both recents were genuinely pleased.

phoenixrosehere · 28/12/2019 01:34

Do people not realise people have actually spent time and put thought into these gifts?

As others have said that is part of the problem. There was little if any thought placed in some of these gifts.

Should I be grateful for four different types of smellies despite saying I didn’t want any when I was asked? I rarely use them and it tends to be floral scents which gives me headaches.

Maybe I should be grateful for getting alcohol again despite being a non-drinker for years. Of course, my husband drinks so I can give it to him but what is the point of giving such a gift if I have to give it to someone else? I am going to have a little moan because I have repeatedly said it and it still falls on deaf ears after almost a decade. Still asked if I want some despite saying no when offered, still received despite saying it makes me physically ill, but hey ho, it’s the “thought” that counts. 🙄

DrivingMsCrazy · 28/12/2019 01:35

OP the point of most of the "rants" (or as it often is - genuinely upset people writing on an anonymous forum) is that there has been precisely NO thought or time or consideration put into the gifts!! Vent away everyone as far as I'm concerned.

Livingoncake · 28/12/2019 01:39

Some of the posts were rant-worthy, like the woman whose husband got her tickets to the rugby (I think that one was removed?), but other posters came across (to me) as entitled princesses who view their loved ones as Santa figures whose job it is to give them stuff they want. It's all about context, I suppose.

Wildthyme · 28/12/2019 02:18

The rugby tickets poster received a lovely holiday. Her DH had told her dad he'd bought rugby tickets as her dad would have told her what the surprise was.

spingly · 28/12/2019 02:47

@chinateapot bloody hell that is mad!

Why would anyone be grateful for a completely thoughtless gift? Just buying any old rubbish because "you've got to give something" is just lazy and doesn't deserve respect. As is regifting total tat.

Sorry OP I don't agree.

NightsOfCabiria · 28/12/2019 04:25

Do people not realise people have actually spent time and put thought into these gifts

No. The whole point of those threads is that people clearly haven't put time and thought into their gifts.

Why should people be grateful for cheap, useless rubbish.

Gift giving is part of life as a grown up. People need to knuckle down and learn how to do it well.

FinallyHere · 28/12/2019 09:12

As an adult, People need to knuckle down and learn how to do it well.
is of course, one way forward.

It can also be lovely to decide freely amongst yourselves to not do gifts, especially when we can just buy anything we want and honestly is nothing that can be thoughtfully given.

It's about matching expectations for harmony. Only when there is a mismatch of expectations does it all go wrong.

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

This thread is closed and is no longer accepting replies. Click here to start a new thread.

Swipe left for the next trending thread